Revenge - Part II

March 11th, 2008
By

Well not to drag this out any further but in trying to answer some Kwonics and Lanceformers asking my mana'o in the last post, "what I think the root problem is and what I think and would do" just wouldn't fit in the normal response box.

You wanna know what I tink? The root I truly believe is actually two-part. The first is punishment. It seems like punishment for any crime - no matter the severity - is a joke. Consequenses are not even a second, third or fourth thought on a "wrong-do'ers" mind and in my opinion the punishment rarely fits the crime.

Let's be real. Authority figures are no longer feared nor respected either and there are just too many "punks" that think they above the law...or at least think they can get away with it which puts people such as HPD officers in harms way at times.

Wassap Wit Dat?

I'll say this, besides the police, I fear only three other people in my life: my dad, my mom and my wife.

And therein lies the second part - people in your life. My parents were pretty strict and I was brought up to respect people, be humble, help others and work your okole off. I neva like get lickins so I neva press my luck...most of the time.

I've been blessed too by the fact that I've had teachers, coaches but most importantly friends that care about me as much as I care about them. The biggest bonus too was that no matter what, everyone's parents was our parents. We respected them as they were our own and they treated each of us as their own too.

My point is that the people around us help shape our lives so if you hang around punks, you're going to act like a punk and vice versa. You hear that you should "surround yourself with good people" and I believe that is so true.

I not perfect - nor do I claim to be - but I do try to live up to the code that my parents and all those that helped shape my life to be. For everyone that has chosen a different path I wonder if they may or may not of had influental people in their lives, no one to help guide them or push them to do the right thing. Maybe the only influence for misguided people were people that constantly made bad decisions.

So what solutions do I have? The biggest one I can think of just get involved. Volunteering is a big commitment but there are other things too that doesn't involve an entire community. What about being a role model for your son/daughter? Or being that "favorite" uncle/aunt that's always there? How's about just being the cousin, nephew, niece that you can hang out with?

No matter what, if the consequences of anything aren't enough to scare you, you'll have more and more people pushing the envelope and not caring what happens to themselves or others. If you don't have people helping you or just being there for you in your life, it'll be a hard road to travel when times get tough.

Laws can change with just a flick of a pen, people will change only when the pasture is green enough.

Posted in WWD! | 32 Comments »

32 Responses to “Revenge - Part II”

  1. GA Bows [Visitor]:

    1st

    Good morning all Kwonics


  2. hemajang [Visitor]:

    Uhhhh, quite da philosopher, Lance. Totally agree though. For most, your community defines you. There are some very good people who came out of bad surroundings but it doesn't happen enough. In fact, adversity can sometimes make you very strong in character and be a positive thing in the end. You know, like if your parents are alcoholics and drug users so you end up not using it from seeing how bad you can get. But I do think that you need somewhere along the line good, strong role-models to teach you the right way to live your life. I did not preach much to my children but tried to teach by example and they had good-kid friends.


  3. 1nutbugga [Visitor]:

    I couldn't agree with you more. There is no respect nowadays, no consideration for the other guy.


  4. JuSaMee [Visitor]:

    when reading your blog i thought about the article HonAd ran yesterday about the violence at Ilima Intermediate. some teachers were quoted to say they are afraid to walk to their car! wassap wit dat?? maybe its all the guitar hero i've been playing lately...but the song welcome to the jungle and scenes from the movie lean on me flashed in my head! lol!! jus like you sir lance...i grew up afraid of my parents...afraid of teachers...and other "authority figures" like police, the principal, heck even the librarians were mean! lol!! but not cuz anyone beat me...but because we were punished. whether it was lickins, detention, extra homework...and some how it was all interconnected. if i decided to ack up in school and got detention, my parents found out too...so on top of detention i either got some lickins or i was grounded...the point was i knew that if i stepped outta line i had some kind of consequences. so all these "punks" out at Ilima...where's their parents? or these boys from St. Louis...where's their parents? do parents actually believe their kids aren't trouble makers? are their parents punks too?? change needs to start in the home...the condition of our society can be directly linked to the amount of "broken" homes, divorced parents, single parents out there. punishment doesn't have to be severe, but it needs to be consistent. kids gotta know that their actions will draw consequences, both good and bad! not too sound too cheesy, but growing up we were always told "you're the leaders of tomorrow..." are these kids our future? if so...i might be moving to another country before i retire in 30 years! lol!!


  5. JuSaMee [Visitor]:

    sorry guys...i neva realize how much i was writing...okay, i'm done for now! lol!!


  6. Coconut Willy [Visitor]:

    Whoa, deep! But very insightful. I totally agree with your statements, especially being a product of your environment.

    Good mentoring at least gives you the ability to reason between right and wrong. In high school, I hung around 3 groups. My sports team, my regular more average friends who sometimes came in contact with the squids, and my more dab boy friends.

    I think because of the values that were instilled in me, I was able to adapt to each environment. Being with the bad boys was fun, but I knew the limits when things didn't seem right. (without going into a lot of detail)

    And yes, I think the consequences weighed heavily on decision making.


  7. MoOgooGuypAN [Visitor]:

    Wise words great Buddha-Hyung Suk. I agree with you 100% and Coconut Willy [Visitor] made a very good point...

    Good mentoring at least gives you the ability to reason between right and wrong.

    We are a product of our environment and we need positive role models that we can follow and learn from. It all stems from our parents, then our leaders (teachers, coaches, older siblings, cousins), then our peers. I think that the internet and the way people can access it, i.e. Youtube, have influence the way kids percieve fun and entertainment. Kids are getting recognized from Youtube and their loving it. We need to show them that there are more positive ways to becoming recognized. It all begins at home.

    Ho brah, today's blog is way deep. Good one Lance.


  8. Da Tin Man [Visitor]:

    What drives young people is peer pressure as I commented to chicken grease. If you can handle the peer pressure without giving in to do crazy things, then you've learned consequences will either gtet you into trouble or not. It's how you choose whether you followe or not. if it's all in fun and nobody will get hurt, then I say why not.
    I agree with Lance. You acquire your values,from your parents, other people that you respect and peers. Yes , peers do play a significant role in todays kids. A lot of parents work more now than before. Long time aqgo, usually the mother stayed at home so there was a figure authority present. Now, nobody is around and so you gotta rely on your buddies,etc. and if you hang around a not so good group, you eventually will end up like them. How ever, if you are a leader and not a follower, you will not be swayed by them. They need to be invlived with positive influences in their lives..
    Jus rambling


  9. JuSaMee [Visitor]:

    hey MoOgooGuypAN...funny you mentioned youtube. according to the Ilima article, some of the kids would videotape the fights and then post it on youtube...like they thought they were famous for being on the net?!?!


  10. Chicken Grease [Visitor]:

    Good morning Lanceformers and Kwonics!

    I wholeheartedly believe in the "surround yourself with good people and you will be good, too" deal. Maybe it happens incidentally -- guys I grew up with never ended up in drugs or underage drinking (and, even when we DID become of age, alc' somehow never played a part). Consequently, I can proudly say that I've not engaged in those type of vice-ful behavior. Luck of the draw, blessed, whatever. I'm glad I grew up the way I did and never had to attend a funeral for a friend 'cause he was driving drunk or never had to bail out a friend from a jail cell, whatever.

    I still think due process is necessary in this matter. Let's wait 'til the facts are laid out. We SEEM to know what's happened; if you were in a similar situation, believe me, you'd want the public at large to know "your side of the story."

    Jervis's house was shown on TV last night. House is colored yellow. Sheesh, at least the smashed eggs match his house. Still, no reason.

    Let's get some carbon dating going with that egg residue. If the accused's (accuseds') legal counsel can prove the eggs on Jervis's house are at least, say, a week old, there's some reasonable doubt, heh. Still, doesn't mean that those same students DIDN'T throw those eggs a wee . . . ah, this is all muddled.

    Let the facts and the law take over.

    Anyways, there'll be punk kids in any generation. I mean, can they be compared (time in our papy's or grandpappy's days, teens used to do fights with stilettos and such.


  11. Opso [Visitor]:

    Yup Bruddah Lance. Spot on!

    I concur with yous all.
    You just gotta get pounded in your head (from whatever source) of what is RIGHT and what is WRONG.

    That's all you really need to know and live your life accordingly.

    Fo reals yeah CW & Moog. Da bro getting deep thoughts lately.


  12. homey ® [Visitor]:

    Lance - I guess rugby players present a different kind of fear. lol


  13. King Katonk [Visitor]:

    Good follow up topic Lance,

    I wholeheartedly agree with you. Today’s youth have little respect for authority. I personally think it stems from the “politically correct” crowd who vehemently defend that it’s unacceptable to spank a child. It’s important to teach children the concepts of mild punishment and discipline to correct inappropriate behavior. I, for one, received many such lessons; each one was well-deserved on my part. But in the end (literally and figuratively), I learned to respect authority.

    As for “hanging with the wrong crowd” that is another story.

    The other night I was driving home from work and a bunch of teenagers were casually walking in the middle of a residential street. They heard my car approaching but they did nothing to avoid or get out of the way. As I drove by the gauntlet I was greeted by a “stare down” by a bunch of pre-pubescent punks. One even had the audacity to give me the COFS (aka California One Finger Salute.) Now that I think about it at least it wasn’t a .45. Had I done something drastic, ala Jervis, these same kids would be hiding behind the shield of authority (parents, cops, lawyers and community) to protect them.

    WWD?


  14. Braddah Lance [Member]:

    Comment from: hemajang [Visitor]
    I did not preach much to my children but tried to teach by example and they had good-kid friends.

    That's what it's all about growing up. If you really think about your hana-bata days, you take on each others character and flaws because you're still "learning". So if you're learning "bad things", you'll be growing up thinking it's ok. Where do kids spend the most time besides at home? With friends. Just like us working folk, we spend as much time working as we do at home.

    Comment from: Coconut Willy [Visitor]
    In high school, I hung around 3 groups. My sports team, my regular more average friends who sometimes came in contact with the squids, and my more dab boy friends.

    I think because of the values that were instilled in me, I was able to adapt to each environment. Being with the bad boys was fun, but I knew the limits when things didn't seem right. (without going into a lot of detail)

    And yes, I think the consequences weighed heavily on decision making.

    I think that the more you're able to experience, the better decisions you're able to make. If you only know one way, you'll miss out on other things. Too much Pali (tunnel)-Vision.

    Comment from: MoOgooGuypAN [Visitor]

    Wise words great Buddha-Hyung Suk.

    Ho wow lau lau! Now you teasing my opu too? ; )

    Comment from: Opso [Visitor]
    You just gotta get pounded in your head (from whatever source) of what is RIGHT and what is WRONG.
    That's all you really need to know and live your life accordingly.

    ROGER DAT!

    Comment from: homey ® [Visitor]

    Lance - I guess rugby players present a different kind of fear. lol

    Not really - just different kine of "pounding" ; )


  15. Braddah Lance [Member]:

    Comment from: King Katonk [Visitor]
    As for “hanging with the wrong crowd” that is another story.

    The other night I was driving home from work and a bunch of teenagers were casually walking in the middle of a residential street. They heard my car approaching but they did nothing to avoid or get out of the way. As I drove by the gauntlet I was greeted by a “stare down” by a bunch of pre-pubescent punks. One even had the audacity to give me the COFS (aka California One Finger Salute.) Now that I think about it at least it wasn’t a .45. Had I done something drastic, ala Jervis, these same kids would be hiding behind the shield of authority (parents, cops, lawyers and community) to protect them.

    That kine stuff happens here too and I've many a times wanted to just run 'em ova but 'den who would play with one remaining dog? What gets me is that it's a frickin road! Uh, cars go vrooom on the road. The sidewalk or even that strip of grass is where you walk. Actually even in parking lots too! Stay on the side peoples!

    The stare down is the worse. They look at you like you're at the wrong for driving on the road where they are walking on?! Then it's a matter of who draws first. Do you eye 'em out scolding them wit da stink eye or do you just suck it up drive by and swear up a storm with the windows up thinking they may do something stupid cause they in a group?

    Whatever happened to the word, "Sorry"?


  16. hemajang [Visitor]:

    Concur that "the more you experience, the better decisions you're able to make." Which is why going to public schools is not a bad thing where you are exposed to all elements of society and hopefully come out unscathed and for the better. I think being in sports really brings all kinds of kids together and they learn how to work things out among themselves.


  17. King Katonk [Visitor]:

    I would love to tell these folks, “Don’t die for being stupid.”

    Let’s do the math….2 ton SUV vs. 100lb idiot.

    It’s a no brainer.

    Sorry


  18. MoOgooGuypAN [Visitor]:

    Haha. That's funny. I've cussed out many a people on the road, screaming to the top of my lungs at them...with my windows up of course. LOL! No worry King Katonk, just do a Jervee and run 'um off da road. Nah nah, maybe next time just hold your horn down and let the whole community see who's causing all the trouble. Spotlight can bring fear too.


  19. munch [Visitor]:

    Good Morning everyone!
    good topic...i totally agree that the way you are raised and brought up will greatly influence the way you act and the decisions you make as you get older. i never felt the need to do bad things or rebel or go against my parents' word while i was growing up. now talking sassy was another story, but really what it came down to was not that i was afraid of my parents but rather, i looked up to them and respected them so i wanted to do things that would make them proud of me--not things that would make them buss out the wooden rice paddle!
    i agree with the previous comments about having some sort of guidance growing up...it most definitely makes a noticable difference. young children can't be left to go at it alone without someone to guide them. if that happens then they just pick up on what's going on around them or what they see on tv and let's face it folks, i wouldn't want my [future] children being brought up by what i see on tv or by some of the people i come in contact with on a daily basis!

    so to end my rant...an example just like King Katonk's-the house on the corner has kids playing outside everyday. and every night for that matter. in the rain, in the dark, and i have not once seen an adult keeping an eye on them. they are very young children, 1 still in diapers and the closest thing to supervision that they have is another child who is no older than 8 or 9. they run into the street, throw things into the road when cars are passing by, trash their toys by banging them against the stone wall, and when they're playing in the street and a car comes by....they usually just stand there and stare at the car. i've even heard them yell back to a driver telling them "YOU move!" now call me mean or crazy but every time i hear a horn blast or tires screech, i wonder if one of those kids got hit and if that ever happens (God forbid) if it will even make a difference or if their parents will just let them keep doing what they do?
    ok i'm done for now :)


  20. King Katonk [Visitor]:

    MoOgoo...

    Using the horn in L.A. just wakes up da ganstas....
    ;)


  21. MoOgooGuypAN [Visitor]:

    Hey munch you live Mililani too? Sounds like my street. Last time a bunch of kids threw a water ballon at my truck I stopped got out and went directly to the house and gave their parents one earful. Nevah boddah me afta dat.


  22. munch [Visitor]:

    close moogoo...Wahiawa. but i guess they're everywhere! New Year's Eve they were throwing firecrackers at all the neighboring houses so my bf yelled (read:scolded) at them from across the street. didn't matter though, again no adults in sight at their house!


  23. J.P.K. [Visitor]:

    I see that stare down thing all the time. Was going to my friend's house in Makiki and some kids were taking their sweet a-- time crossing the street and the car that wanted to go was patiently waiting behind the line ... as soon as those kids crossed, they stared down the guy and made like they was going beef ... they didn't. although it's pretty easy to act tough when you got 6 guys and only get one guy in the car.

    never had any road rage yet with stuff like this, but with how everyone acts nowadays, you never know when you (or someone else) may snap like that. sad part is, everything thinks they are right and the other guy is wrong no matter what happens.


  24. JuSaMee [Visitor]:

    we got some kids in our neighborhood who are always hangin' out on the road. i live in a townhouse community and after alot of complaints parents starting coming to the monthly board meetings and complain about how no more park or anywhere for the kids to play! ummm...hello?? you knew never have a park when you bought the place!! plus we got two community parks in walkig distance of our place...but the kids are too young to go and the parents must be just plain lazy to not take them. if i wasn't worried about scratchin' my rims i'd run over their bikes, razors, and ripsticks!! i figure if just one of them toys got damaged by a car the rest of them kids would get their stuff off the road. instead you get all us adults veering left and right to avoid either a kid or toy...oh where's the parents?? who knows...


  25. Opso [Visitor]:

    Comment from: munch [Visitor]
    but really what it came down to was not that i was afraid of my parents but rather, i looked up to them and respected them so i wanted to do things that would make them proud of me

    Bingo!
    One of the things I dreaded was if my parents would say that they were disappointed in me. That would have made me feel really bad.

    Maybe they were, but they never said it. heh


  26. homey ® [Visitor]:

    From the prior topic:

    Now I don't know about you but there are just too many things wrong with the latter story. First, what the heck are 17 year olds doing drinking? But more nerve wracking...DRIVING after that?!

    Do you actually know if they were drinking? Did someone actually get a hold of the police report? Were sobriety or breathalyser tests given to the teens?

    Can't believe everything we read.


  27. Braddah Lance [Member]:

    homey: Nope, I didn't "actually" see the police report but according to yesterday & today's article & tv news reports, "The driver of the SUV is being investigated for driving under the influence of an intoxicant. Police took a sample of his blood after the crash." I wouldn't know if they would release that info or not either but HPD must have suspected something if tests are being done - or do you think that's just formality for any teenage driver involved in an accident? There must have be signs indicating an altered state. Drinking maybe not - yes, I was premature in implying that but I didn't want to say he was smoking pot.

    So when do we believe what we read?


  28. homey ® [Visitor]:

    In this case when the toxicology test comes back and the information is made public. Until then, we can only make assumptions.

    If it's found that the driver was indeed intoxicated then by all means he should be dealt with according to law.

    If he was found not to be drinking then he should be charged with egg throwing.

    Sometimes we pass judgment to swiftly and harshly when not all the facts are in.

    Thanks Lance for replying.

    Now about that auto show video...lol


  29. Chicken Grease [Visitor]:

    Comment from: Braddah Lance [Member]
    So when do we believe what we read?

    Classic literature, heh. I mean, stands the test of time.

    The sad thing about this situation is, you watch, I mention privilege, privilege, privilege (gosh, I hope I'm spelling that correctly) . . . rich neighborhood, renowned lawyer, kids from the private school. I'm not saying they have a ton of money or fame or (well, 'specially since the ALLEGED activity was emblazoned on TV and the newspaper for all to see), but, things have a way of working themselves out in such, uh, privileged situations. Alls I'm saying is that the infrastructure for all pah-ties to get together, make nice-nice, make 'splanation is right THERE already. And they might do exactly that.

    Still . . . both parties are allowed due process (I know, broken record from I).


  30. Largo [Visitor]:

    Sweet lil' Mary Ann (Gilligan's Island) was just busted with pakalolo.

    And here I thought Ginger was the party animal.

    Puurrrr.


  31. J.P.K. [Visitor]:

    about the Ilima Intermediate article/commentary ... article doesn't mention that there is an elementary school right next door.

    amazingly, the elementary school doesn't have problems like the intermediate school does, but there are a lot of siblings that go to both schools so you never know when that could change. and i've heard of situations in which the elementary school kids bring knives to school because their older sibling puts it in their school bag to take with them.

    and this jervis thing will stretch out for a while. doubt it'll have the same news coverage it did the first day it was on, but the criminal process will probably take a while.


  32. snow [Visitor]:

    Totally thought provoking topic...

    I'm in agreement - I totally believe that you are a product of your environment - surround yourself with good people and, hopefully, some of that goodness will rub off on you! However, I also believe that no matter how we grow up and who we grow up with, we have the power to shape our own lives IF we are smart enough and willing to acknowledge who we really are.

    Like others have mentioned, my parents were strict. I don't remember having many conversations with my dad when I was young and that just added to the element of fear. Thing was, I always felt loved by my parents, but I certainly didn't want to do anything to piss them off!! Now, I often hear children yell at their parents while their parents try to have a calm conversation. Uhh... that ain't happening! And that lack of respect... it rubs off and is acted out in other ways.

    The Jervis incident is just one bad thing after another... it's that snowball effect! Goodness gracious... as stupid as those kids actions were, Jervis took the cake! Hello??! What was he thinking? Or not... maybe he wasn't thinking while intoxicated. Don't want to hear any excuses for anyone here (even if, yes, they are entitled to due process)... they are just lucky that no one got seriously hurt or killed in their moments of stupidity.