Bonus
By Braddah Lance
Nah, not dat kine...don't we all wish.
But I've always had this mindset that whenever you had one holiday you automatically had a bonus day because now instead of a five day work week you got a four day work week.
Today is Feel Good Friday already and I'm still stuck on Thursday.
Wassap Wit Dat?
This week flew by already and next week - I have a feeling - is going to feel freakishly long. Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday/day off and had some fun. If not, here's a few jokes that were sent to me from da Kwonics & Lanceformers in da house!
Have a grrrrreeeeeeaaaaat weekend...the sun is out so get out there wit you spf 50 and soak up some sunshine!
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Guess what nationality?
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Give up?
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POLISH of course!!!!
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How you figah?
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Okay, take a look...
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So, wat were YOU thinking? 
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Here's one for da Big Island peeps....
Kimo's father lived alone on the South side of the Big Island, known to us as... Ka'u. He wanted to dig his taro patch, but it was very hard work because the ground was too hard. (no nuff rain)...
So, his only son, Kimo, who used to help him, was in Kulani prison spending time. The old man wrote a letter to Kimo and explained his predicament...and da letter reads...
Dear Kimo,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my taro patch this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up this hard soil. I know if you were here you would be happy to dig the taro patch for me and it wouldn't be a problem.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son Kimo that read...
Dear Dad,
No dig up the dirt in the taro patch. That's where I buried the body.
Love, Kimo
At 4 A.M. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived with an army of men and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to Kimo's dad and they left.
Later that same week Kimo's dad received another letter from Kimo...
Dear Daddy,
You can go ahead and plant your taro now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Take care of the taro and make choke Poi.
Love you to da max, Kimo
(Dat Kimo one akamai bruddah that graduated from Ka'u High.)
Now dat was funny! Who says locals ain't edumacated?
Keep it coming and no shame if you like send email for say Wassap or vent or share. Thanks to all you dat have done already and as always, if you need a shout out, let me know.
shoots! k-den.
Wassup Wit Dat!
May 30th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Chee B/L,
The supervisor is giving me stink eye. I guess I shouldn't laugh so loud while looking at a "questionable" image on my computer. "But boss, it's only a Polish sausage." Mainland folks have no sense of humor.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:48 am
First! Great weekend BL. Go look for some FROGS or someting.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:51 am
OMG - that was funny!! i was like . . . "brazillian?!" LOL
yes, 4 day work week, but at the bank . . . we pay for it when we get back . . . tuesday was horrors!! don't ever go to the bank the day after a holiday . . . unless you got lots of time on your hands!!
anyway . . . hope everybody has a great weekend . . . be safe!!
May 30th, 2008 at 8:52 am
HA!
Those are both good lead-ins to aloha Friday.
Dat Kimo is a sly buggah.
Chee, I dunno if I would eat that sausage after looking at it in that perspective. Well, maybe just bite 'um, and no cut 'um.
Happy aloha Friday BL and all the Lanceformers!
May 30th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Dat Kimo one fut smella, I mean smart fella. No mess with us From Big Island. We not as dumb as we seem, look, act.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:24 am
That was an awesome picture BL!!! It must have really took someone with a very keen eye to take that shot from the entire sausage....
May 30th, 2008 at 9:29 am
I work for one company that sometime hire for plant our utility poles. One guy went take all day for bury his pole. The boss ask em how come he take all day fo plant 1 pole and the other guys went plant 10. He tell em, "But look boss, deys one still sticking out of the ground"
To all my blogger buddies, have a great weekend. I'll be soaking up the sun again in Kona for play (LOL I work here all month from Hilo and I coming back to play??? WWD??? Guess gotta give the family a treat sometime). Hope the vog don't change the taste of my cold ones.
A hui ho
May 30th, 2008 at 9:40 am
See I'm already in Aloha Friday mode. Forgot how to spell my name.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:51 am
lol... great way to start the weekend! oh wait, you mean i still gotta work today??! eek! oh well... i can hope!
(i thought that sausage was a little bit weird colored to have a nationality!!? heh heh.)
have a great weekend kwonics/lanceformers!
May 30th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Maybe if was a Redondo's po-tahgee sausage he would have laughed.
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Actually you second but no one noticed. You just reminded me of the frogs from my honeymoon in SF.
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Das a good one...or how about "Tong-an". Get it?
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You know you gotta squeeze 'em - not too soft, not too hard...but juuuus' riiiight.
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Ok. lmao
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Or just a guy with only one thing on his mind...food of course!
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How did I know dat was coming?
Have fun in Kona! Tradewinds are back but we all know it's still hot in Kona so toss a few back wit da spicy ahi eh!
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It was the spray on tan.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:03 am
I guess right!!! Not! I mean, it's so obvious that it's Polish, isn't it? I was devastated, you got my hopes up, then it was shattered...
Haha, thanks for the laugh (both the pix and the joke).
Have a great weekend, everyone.
BL - how is the diplomacy with the volleyball team going?
May 30th, 2008 at 10:38 am
I was convinced it was Brazilian Portuguese sausage.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Dat's a great pix, BL, got me dea for awhile. Have a great weekend everybody!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Ho....I though was one bobura with one mean sunburn okole.
Have a good one everybody!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Cool picture. Almost like the Secret Finger Trick
May 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
ohhh i'm late today! everyone have a great weekend and no make like da guy in dis joke...
Keoki is in bed with his wife, Nani when there is a knocking on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.
"I not going get out of bed now," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.
"You going answer that?" says Nani.
So Keoki drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and dere is large Hawaiian man standing at the door. It didn't take Keoki long to realize dis Kanaka was drunk.
"Howzeet," slurs the Kanaka. "Can, give me one push, or what brah??"
"No, beat it! It's tree-turty in da morning. I stay sleeping already," he says. Then Keoki slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells Nani what happened and she says, "Keoki, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember dat night we broke down in da pouring ua on the way for pick up
da kids from da baby sitter and you had to knock on dat man's house foa help jes to get us started again? What woulda happen if dat guy told us foa beat it??"
"But da guy stay drunk," says the Keoki.
"No matter," says Nani "He needs our help and dat's da Christian thing foa do to help him."
So Keoki gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes
downstairs. Keoki opens the door, and cannot see dat Kanaka anywhere. Keoki shouts, "Hooooiiiii bruddah, you still like one push??"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, can please???"
Still Keoki no can see the Kanaka, he shouts, "Ey, Braddah, where you?"
And the Kanaka replies, "I stay ova here...
... On top your swing."
May 30th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Sheesh, get us all excited ... what a tease! Next time use one longanisa! Aysoos!
May 30th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Look good enuff to eat.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
oooh...i love when we tell jokes...here's one
LOL!! guess who got to go home w/ the hot chicks??
May 30th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Three guys working on a skyscaper, a hawaiian, a japanese and a portage having lunch. The hawaiian says everyday I get fish and poi, if I get dis tomorrow, I going jump off dis building. The japanese guy said everyday I get sushi, if I get this tomorrow, I going jump off dis building. The portage says everyday I get spam and eggs, if I get dis tomorrow, I going jump off dis building too.
The next day the hawaiian get fish and poi, he jumps. The Japanese get sushi, he jumps and the portage gets spam and eggs and he jumps.
At the funeral, the hawaiian's wife is crying and said, if I only knew he didn't want fish and poi for lunch. The japanese wife said, if I only knew he didn't want sushi for lunch. The hawaiian and japanese wives looked at the portage wife who didn't say a word and says, don't look at me, he makes his own lunch.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Must be good cause I nevah see 'em since the second time they ran through. I guess da parks director finally got through to them...now fo' da football guys...who almost got hit three times yesterday...some people just no learn.
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Funny jokes JuSaMee & M. Heard 'em before but always gets a chuckle even though you know da punchline.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Had to share the Polish sausage picture with my haole husband!
Yep, he knows I call him haole...lol! Have a great weekend BL, and thanks for the chuckles!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Whoa. Where can I buy that sausage from? My mind must have been on something else other than food.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Oh, wow, I thought that was a picture of me....LOL!!
May 30th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
So this filipino guy goes to the bar after work with is haole coworker and says "hui, my prend. How come you all da time get da girl and I have fo go home by myselp?".
The haole guy tells his filipino friend "Here's how I do it. After I buy the girl a couple of drinks, out of nowhere I just say 'so, your place or mine'. Give it a try".
So the filipino guy finds this nice girl and buys her a couple of drinks, then out of the blue, he asks her "So wot, honey. You're place or mine?".
Surprisingly, the girl replies "Let's go to my place. But I have to warn you - I'm on my menstrual cycle."
The filipino guy replies "Dat's okay. I will pollow you home on my moped."
May 30th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Have a good one guiys and r4odney, as one good pilipino joke... no kid
May 30th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Hey everybody! Thanks for the laughs. A great way to end the day! I spent like 3 hours at WHS' graduation. Stood up all the way. You know you getting old when standing up hurts! It's so nice to just sit, read, and laugh! Thanks!
May 31st, 2008 at 1:29 am
Hahaha. Hoo, da funny. Too much, I wen hurt my 'opu!
January 25th, 2009 at 5:39 am
Its not a polish sausage. It has belarussian or ukrainian write on it. You guys dont even know how the polish language looks like.....