Well actually, I hope I don't.

In Sunday's "Stealing Beer From Hawaii Fastop?", it was unreal to read that a store is "fighting" back.

Wat are they doing?

They are posting surveillance footage of people actually stealing and walking off with items such as a 12-pack of beer. How you walk out of a store with half a case of anything beats me cause I would think that if you were trying to steal something from any store it would either fit in your pocket or your under your shirt.

As I read the article I was shocked to read that most, if not all, the people interviewed knew at least one of the perpetrators. Well, not really shocked - we all know dat 'dis aina too small and we all know each oddah one way or anoddah - but more curious to find out what the people who know the shoplifters would do.

Do you turn them in? Do you "tell" on them? Do you make fun of them? Do you try to talk some sense into them? A very troubling dilemma between yourself and your friend or relative.

But only in Hawaii do you have the "shame" factor.

Sure other parts of the world has it too but I think in Hawaii, it's such a huge part of our culture, it makes a difference in how we act. Our actions tend to be misconstrued as being "too polite" or "timid" but in the end, we no like "make shame".

For the underage shoplifters at Fastop, it's nice to hear that their parents at least make amends to the criminal activity by ponying up the kala for the items because once the items are paid for, the picture comes down.

But wait, wat da heck are underage people even doing stealing more worse stealing alcohol?

Wassap Wit Dat!

Is it ODD to bee more afraid of "shame" 'den da law? Should other stores with shoplifting problems follow Fastop's tactic? If you've seen those kines of pictures before, do you look out of curiosity or maybe for a "friend"?

Good thing I dunno wat YOU look like.......

BACHI
(ba-CHEE)

Haole Translation: Japanese curse, karma

Use: Wen you do something bad, rotten, nasty etc, going come back to you!

Sentence: “Eh, it's not free-99. Bettah watch out you going get bachi.”

Sentence: “Hoi, no make li'dat. Bachi brah!”

Long time we nevah have unproductive Fridays so hea's two to get you started from of course Hawaii's own "Excel" game creator Tracy Nishibun!

Since the college football season has started, here's one to test your NCAA helmet "logo" savy. And yeah, we do know no mo' Hawaii in 'dea........ Wassap Wit Dat!

Mahalos to munch fo' sending it! 

NCAA HELMET LOGO QUIZ

And not to be out done, we have a Vegas quiz too to occupy the rest of da day with.

VEGAS HOTEL QUIZ 

Mahalos to Ynaku fo' forwarding dat one as well!

And of course so you no get busted, you can tell yo' boss dat you was taking an online management course. Enjoy da presentation. 

Lesson 1:  
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.  

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'  

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.  

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'  

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.  

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'  

Moral of the story:  
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.  
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Lesson 2:  
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.  

The priest nearly had an accident.  

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'  

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.  
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'  

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'  

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'  

Moral of the story:  
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.  
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Lesson 3:  
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.  They rub it and a Genie comes out.  

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'  

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'  Puff! She's gone.  

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'  Puff! He's gone.  

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.  

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'  

Moral of the story:  
Always let your boss have the first say.  
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Lesson 4  
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.  

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'  
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'  

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.  

Moral of the story:  
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.  
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Lesson 5  
A turkey was chatting with a bull.  

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'  

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'  

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.  

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.  

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.  

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.  

Moral of the story:  
Bull $h!t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
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Lesson 6  
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.  

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.  

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!  

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.  

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.  

Morals of the story:  
(1) Not everyone who $h!t$ on you is your enemy.  

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of $h!t is your  
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep $h!t, it's best to keep  
your mouth shut!  
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THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE  

Mahalos to sassy7 fo' dat one!

  
SHOUT OUT:Mahalos to Tracy Nishibun fo' giving WWD! permission to publish his creations. Aftah emailing each oddah, I found out da Braddah Tracy's Candy Quiz went national - from Louisiana to New York, from Maryland to Illinois, from North Carolina to Washington DC, from Alabama to Pennsylvania and he is stoked about it.... us too Braddah Tracy! He's also working on creating a website fo' all his quizzes so stay tuned!

And in lieu of Da Pidgin Word Of Da Day, I got two tickets to da UH/San Jose State game. Seats are pretty good imho (going off memory cause tickets are at home), it's da brown section HH so you're covered from da rain and I think it's between da 30-40 yard line.

Hea's how you win 'em. Next week, we get one bbq fo' da Fresno St. game and cause you all know I love to eat (who doesn't), let me know your favorite tailgate/potluck recipe. If you no like share da "secret" online, shoot me an email offline but at least post wat you call 'em so da people know you wen post. If you no mo' recipe, share wat your favorite "gotta have" foods are or your own potluck story!

We'll all vote who's da ono'est, funniest, most creative but hea's da kicker... if there's "77" in any of the counts (votes or posts) you'll win 'em! But watch out, if go ovah, da next numbah is "177" and so forth. Dreaming hea but, if WWD! hits "777", you win - guarans bombarans!

I'll try and tally up the votes and and post them as we go along but I not perfect so no buss' my olo's eh! Told you WWD! not easy.... you earn 'em hea!    Let's call da cutoff at noon Saturday so dat you get chance fo' tailgate and I'll personally drop them off to you.

Happy Feel Good Friday! 

Game on!

Yesterday a friend had asked (for her co-worker) if I had any suggestions or if I knew of anyone selling a car - more specifically a 5-speed.

That triggered memories of my mokemobile list.

Growing up around cars (Dad owned an auto body shop), I was fortunate enough to have driven au' kines of cars, trucks, vans.... forklifts too. 

Once I got my license at 15, my Dad had gotten me a very old school Honda Prelude - first generation to be exact.

It had a fresh coat of paint, sun roof and a four speed stick shift that topped out at 85 - at least dat's wea da speedometer stopped moving. 

I had it for awhile until we had to sell it. 

My very first car.... gone. 

I've been very fortunate to have various cars in high school but da car dat lasted da longest was a hugemongeous Mercury Cougar four door dat became da dedicated beach-mobile.

It sucked up gas like there's no tomorrow, one rear window didn't go down, the rear shocks were blown, no a/c and even da horn was on a lever, not on da steering wheel. But it got me around.... especially to the beach.

Out of high school I wanted to have a ride to call my own so I did wat any person (pupule enough) who wanted personal transportation did.... work a full-time job, two part-time, go school full-time and still squeezed in coaching.

In a few months I got it - my very first motorcycle! It was a 1993 Yamaha FZR 600 and I rode da buggah to da ground. 

Since it was my only ride, I rode it in the blistering wind, pounding rain, heavy snow.... ok, no snow but nothing stopped me from riding. Believe it or not, I used to deliver pizzas on it too.... but dat's anoddah blog. 

Truth be told, I only sold my FZR almost two years ago to get my new/used bike dat I ride now.

My truck? I was out of school and worked a full-time as well as a part-time and yes, still coaching to afford it.

So wat kine mokemobile you had growing up? A Woody?    Were you gifted one or busted your okole to get one? Do you have da car/van/truck of your dreams?

Have any suggestions for a friend's friend needing/wanting a 5-speed car with $3000 down and $180 /month for payments?   

Eh, gotta go work.... got bills to pay.

MOKEMOBILE
(MOK-mobile)

Haole Translation: Local transportation

Use: You can tell da difference between a local car and a "visitor" car

Sentence: “Brah you like ride? 'Den no tease da mokemobile!”

Sentence: (humming Batman theme) “Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah na.... Mokemobile!”

Last week there was an article about a PM Ewa bound zipper lane and of course da hatahz were out.

Wat all da huhu about?

Beats me but I guess if no mo' any hatahz in da world we'd be living in an Utopian world eh?

(Ooooh, you like dat $5 dollah word yeah?)  

Here's what Maeda Timson, chairwoman of the Makakilo/Kapolei/Honokai Hale Neighborhood Board, said,

"she thinks the PM Zipper Lane is a bad idea, as long as the state continues to use three people as the threshold for vehicles in the Zipper Lane.

Much more people would carpool, and the Zipper Lane would be better used, if vehicles with two people were allowed, she said.

"It's unnecessarily causing more traffic," Timson said, adding that she's miffed the department did not take the plan to the neighborhood boards of the affected communities before deciding to proceed. "It's just making congestion worse."

I'll put my face out there and say dat changing da rider occupancy from two to three riders in da Zip Lane was right on. I think people fo'get dat driving is a privilege - not a right. It's your choice to drive and fo' a good numbah of people, choose to break da law as well - specifically da car pool and Zip Lane laws.

Da car pool and Zipper Lane (imho) serves two purposes: to reward people who car pool and to help alleviate traffic.

Alleviate, not eliminate.

She goes on to say dat da Zip Lane would be bettah used if vehicles with two riders were allowed. But wouldn't dat just make it like any other lane? You're not helping traffic (to some degree yes) but you're just "overflowing" da load to anoddah lane.

My scientific proof?

Yesterday, Da Wife and I drove da car into work cause of da rain. It took us an additional 25 minutes to get into work making da total commute time about 47 minutes and counted five illegal vehicles in da car pool lane.  Today on da bike using da Zip Lane..... 17 total minutes with three illegal vehicles in da car pool lane.

Wen da Zip Lane allowed two riders before, we rarely took it because da "regular" lanes were just as fast, if not faster, practically ALL da time. So in our "observation", traffic was just "pushed" ovah to anoddah lane.

Da PM Zip Lane going help EVERYONE cause believe it or not, whoevah is in da Zip Lane not going be on da regular lanes! Brah, who cannot figgah dat? Even if get only 500 cars use 'em, dat's 500 cars not going be in da lane next to da single riders. It's about time it's being done and even mo' bettah, going be mostly paid by da federal government.

And no, I'll probably not benefit from da PM Zip Lane as it'll be waaaay past where I live. The only hope for me (and countless others) is dat it'll lighten da lanes a little on da regular lanes.

Da PM car pool lane already overcrowded with legal riders and 'den you throw in da law breakers and now you got a regular lane dat stops and goes with da traffic - you might as well make it a regular lane already!

Everyone says enforcement enforcement enforcement and I totally agree but you know wat? I gotta side with HPD on 'dis one. While I know they no can catch everybody, da places da illegal actions take place, HPD no can pull them ovah and those who break da law know it and use it to their advantage. If HPDwanted to pull someone ovah, going cause mo' traffic - cause no mo' shoulder lane - and people going get mo' huhu. Catch 22. No can win.

So it boils down to morals and balls. You know it's wrong so you going do da right thing or wat? Or "ainokea" and I not going get caught anyways.

Wassap Wit Dat!

Last she goes on saying dat da neighborhood boards weren't involved in da process.... Sistah, dat means da DOT gotta contact practically every board on da aina cause traffic affects ALL of us!

And you tell me, how making one PM Zip Lane going make congestion "worse"?

Ai-goo.  

But 'den again, at least da car pool violators get mo' room eh?

BEEF
(pronounced same as spelled)

Haole Translation: Fight or argument

Use: Same as above

Sentence: "Eh, Kimo and Russell goin' beef aftah school!"

Sentence: "Brah, wat's yo' beef wit da Sam's Club photo cashier?"

So it's finally here.

Dunno wat I'm talking about?

It's da...  "If I miss da first - or second - episode I not going know wat da heck is going on in da show latahz" season.

Yup. The new fall season for most - if not all - da tv shows are coming up this week to the next and it's time to set your DVR, TiVo, VCR.... gulp.... Betamax. 

Of course Da Wife already has "programmed" our DVR fo' wat seems like da next two months and has filled da memory. Our shows (can you guess who's is who's?) goes:

• Dancing With The Stars
• Grey's Anatomy
• Lost (btw, check out The Advertiser's own Caryn Kunz's Lost In Hawaii blog for you fanatics during da season. Got some great "tidbits" about da show as it goes along!)
• Chuck
• NCIS
• Eli Stone
• House
• Pushing Daisies
• Dirty Sexy Money (still on da fence about 'dis one)
• Bones
• Ugly Betty
• Brothers & Sisters
• The Unit

Geez, dat's a lot of shows yeah?! But it's spread out through da week so no look as bad, right? 

And I'm sure a couple more will pop up as new shows try to fight for your airtime viewing pleasure.

Wat are your favorite shows dat you "have" to watch? Have you gotten into a show late (not from da first season)? You even watch tv?

AN 'DEN
(pronounced same as spelled)

Haole Translation: What happened next?

Use: Usually said in response to someone telling a story or trying to find out more to it

Sentence: opso:  “Ho, I wen meet 'dis chick last week.”
BL: "An 'den? Nevah score eh?" 

Sentence: JuSaMee: "Last night I fo'got to set da recorder fo' tonights show so I wen panic out."
BL: “An 'den wat you wen do?"