By Braddah Lance
Yup - still hea'.
As you all know, lot's of things happening (mostly bad) and get choke mo'olelo's fo' share next week so stay tuned.
You all know wat day it is today don't 'cha?
Fo' me, it signals da start of da holiday season especially once da old school Charlie Brown cartoons begin playing with each respective holiday. 'Dis past Tuesday, "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" was airing on tv and I'm glad dat tradition still continues today - especially in 'dis technological world we live in wea even get 4-D!
So let me ask 'dis, do you still celebrate Halloween? If so, adults, wat do you do? Back in da day, da boys and I used to do da club scene and boy was it wild! Get au' kine costumes - or lack thereof - and some very original and ingenious.
I once saw a couple dressed up as an electrical socket and a light bulb - I'm sure you must have seen it once before. Da trippy part was dat da guy (light bulb) had da two prong plugs by his you know wat. Da wahine (electrical socket) had two sockets - one was her head and da oddah was you know wea.
Hea's da supah cool part. Da guy would stick his "prongs" into da "socket" and da whole bulb would actually light up! Unrealz.
Fo' da keiki - wea do you take 'em? Shopping malls? Your own neighborhood? Da "rich" neighborhoods? Do you enter them in contests? Make your own? Eat all their candy?
If you have pets, do you dress 'em up?
Have you carved pumpkins? Da Wife and I once went to da pumpkin patch at Aloun Farms and dat was fun... something you should try at least once - especially if you have keiki.
Things We've Learned From Horror Films....
When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. It isn't.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of a group of people, NEVER pair off and go it alone.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
If you're searching for something that caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and leave NOW!!
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing. Even then, don't do it.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of a female. Even though you may be faster than the monster, you can be sure that it WILL catch you.
If your friends suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Meskatonic University, Camp Crystal Lake, Haddonfield, Illinois, one gas station desert towns or any small town in Maine.
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, or band saws. This is especially true if they are wearing a hockey mask or one made of human skin.
And last but not least,
Consider yourself TRICK'd!
Have a Spooktacular Feel Good Friday!
SHOUT OUT: Jus' want to send out a huge mahalos to all for your comments left on "nothing". And also for all da offline emails as well! It sure brought out some Lurkahs and I can't believe a blog about nothing got 129 posts..... even though like 50 of 'em was from Ynaku alone... j/k.
Lots of people had lots of things to say and you know wat? It was very very nice to read every single comment - even though I wasn't able to reply in my normal fashion, I sincerely appreciated every single one.
p.s. NKHEA, SUP Saturday?