By Braddah Lance
Stereotype or not - we all seen it, experienced it and wondered why it has to be like that.
I'm just guesstimating big time hea but it's gotta be like 95% of da jobs in da real world must be "customer service" related where you deal with customers or coworkers in person - so why/how is it dat we get no service more than good service?
Let me rephrase dat.... why is it dat we get sad service, literally.
Last week I had to get my drivers license renewed since it was set to expire in 17 hours da day of. So aftah dropping off Da Wife at work, I headed down to Fort Street Mall Satellite City Hall. I got there about 10 mins aftah it opened at 7:45am and noticed three people who just arrived before me at da forms counter.
Let me give you da layout of da "office" before I go any further.
There are CHOKE signs everywea but da one most abundent is, "Fill out forms BEFORE approaching the counter" or something li'dat. There are three "areas" to stand in line: 1) driver license renewal (dunno wat else), 2) car registration (dunno wat else) and 3) water bill payment (dunno wat else). There were three staff with a fourth to come. Two were busy "setting up" and handling da driver license side on da far left, one was sitting at his "station" on da far right and one had appeared to come in late. Da area is also sectioned off with those nylon rope/tape thingys directing you to the sections while also forming a clear line to stand in while filling out da forms.
Once I read da signs I caught da hint dat it was self-service before "real-service" and figgah'd out dat they must run into da same questions everyday and to help streamline, they put up signs everywea to alleviate their own headaches of repeating things throughout da day, everyday. Aftah reading around, I found da appropriate form and looked for a pen. Da counter had enough room for five people, unfortunatly there were only three pens and it was going to take awhile filling out da forms so I walked to da far right counter and asked the lone workah if I could use a pen. He gave me shmall kine stink eye like I was bothering him and he smartly replied,
WORKAH: "There's pen's on the counter."
BL: *looking back left towards da counter, DUH! said wit da inner BL voice of course* "Uh, yes there is but there's only three and all three are being used. Can I use this one?"
WORKAH: *looing a bit agitated gave a half-a$$ nod*
I scootched ovah to da very edge of da water bill counter as to not "bother" da lone workah sitting as two people walked in waiting for da registration counter to "open". Aftah completing just a few sections, da water bill counter person appeared and told me to move. Yeah, TOLD me to move. There was no one waiting to pay a water bill, I wasn't blocking da water bill "window" and heaven forbid I use "her" pen.
BL: "He said it was ok to use the pen."
2nd WORKAH: "There's pens on the counter."
BL: *looking back left towards da counter saying something I can't say hea... wit da inner BL voice of course* "There are three pens, three people are using them.... nevah mind."
I should have recogmanoticed dat it wasn't going to be a pleasant time since da very moment I entered, everybody looked either mad or sad, not a smile, a grin - nada. They had da "I'm just here to do a job and deal with stupid people everyday" look although wen they talk to each oddah it's all smiles. They didn't "respect" da fact dat they're prime time in da service industry as ANYBODY working for da City - or da State - has one client and one client only, da taxpaying citizens. They speak sternly wit a monotone voice and display no compassion or understanding dat da lay kama'aina doesn't usually fill out forms regularly, yearly if at dat, and to expect someone entering a realm of "unknown" to be greeted wit borderline hostility is just plain uncool.
Wassap Wit Dat!
Tink about it. How often do you go to a Satellite City Hall or even a C&C office or a State Department of Watevah? I haven't filled out a driver license renewal in SIX YEARS! And between then and now, I can only remembah going to any office maybe three times total. I fully understand dat they have to deal with pupule people sometimes and so wat if we ask stupid questions, or don't know wat kine forms to fill out or da fact dat at times we have no idea wat to do... isn't dat wat City and State workahs are there to help us out with? To guide us through da painful and confusing process? It's not like we do it everyday!
3rd WORKAH: "Thumb."
BL: *inks thumb for fingerprinting*
3rd WORKAH: "Is everything correct?"
BL: *looks ovah info* "Yes."
3rd WORKAH: "Put your thumb on the pad (digital fingerprinting)...... Now stand there."
BL: *knows wea to stand cause watched da person before do it, oddahwise there are no "Stand here" signs.*
3rd WORKAH: "Make sure everything is correct, sign and wait on the side."
BL: *looks good, now we wait*...........................................
3rd WORKAH: *calls my name and looks ovah my driver license*
BL: *wondering if my pic is "nice"*
As I'm about to leave.........
3rd WORKAH: *in a sheepish, happy tone with a smirky smile* "Happy birthday."
There's hope yet.
DA PIDGIN WORD OF DA DAY! -
(as quoted from Da Kine Dictionary &/or Pidgin To Da Max… wit a Braddah Lance twist)
(bah duh you)
Haole Translation: Sarcasticly said questioning if it "bothers you" and if you want to start, or do, something about it. Also another way of saying 'get lost'.
More commonly said harshly or even jokingly, "Why, boddah you?"
Sentence: “Excuse me, can you put out your cigarette?”
"Why, boddah you?!?"
Sentence: “Eh, I no can understand dat kine.”
"No boddah me, why-boddah you?"