Only Da Brave - Or No Shame - Need Reply

April 27th, 2010
By

For those who regularly drop in to read Wassap Wit Dat!, you know dat no topic is "off limits". From da controversial to da consensus, da pupule to da sane - I no hold back.

Dis one is no different..... although I'm just wondering if any guy is crazy enough to admit it. Wahine, feel free to join in if applicable.   :wink:   Or if you're just laughing your okole off.

Those who know me know dat I possess some mad observation skills. I notice da real little things dat people usually don't notice or no kea about but for some reason, my eyes are like laser guided missiles locking onto a target and even wen I no like notice, I notice.

Da Wife says I'm OCD das why.

In da workplace bathroom - yes, da bathroom - you encounter many different co-workahs there and different comes in, well, many different ways.

Some you know, some you don't know but aftah awhile you "know" who's there if you know wat I mean.

Before continuing, a short disclaimer for anyone dat would have started whining or complaining about da subject already:  ***WARNING - if you are easily grossed out or like to complain alot, no read eh!***   Now back to da regularly scheduled program.

One thing dat's for certain, if you worked at one job long enough, you get to know everyone's patterns.

For instance - sorry wahines - guys get option of peeing in a urinal or in a toilet stall.... and dat's wea it gets interesting.

Now for urinals, there are basically four kines: da kidney shaped faux toilet look alike (fancy shmancy kine), da floor to chest stand up (for me it's usually at da eyeballs), da two feet off da floor square box in da wall to da chest stand up and of course da evah favorite, stainless steel trough.

At urinals, EVERY single guy has their own "ritual". How each one of us developed our "system" only God knows cause believe it or not wahines, we (guys) have about a thousand different ways of peeing.

Some will flush WHILE they pee - twice if it's a long one. Some will "drop" their spit while peeing as if they were Kamikaze's trying to get it to land directly on da "stream" to catch a ride, some pee wit one hand, some both hands, some wit no hands (I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it myself), some wit one hand on da flusher, some wit one hand holding up da wall, some wit da lean in, some wit da lean out, some eyes straight forward, some eyes down, some up and yes, some sneak a peak.

Whew. Dat was just a smidgen of peeing at a urinal.

Then their's da "extras". Some lift their shirt and wrap da loose part like a pareau, some will tuck it undah one arm and some will even lift da shirt wat I like to call da "show da keg chinny chin tuck" to make surah no errant splashes get on your shirt.

And who can forget about da tinkle.  :grin:  Some will shake "it" up and down or forward or back and some even will jump up and down instead of doing da shake. Surprisingly, some no even tinkle....

Wassap Wit Dat!    :shock: 

And while some will deny it, ALL guys fut wen peeing. Maybe not all da time but I'd say it's about an 80% probability dat a fut will accompany your peeing.

In da stalls, "observations" couldn't be made - and I'm not one to try - but there are a few dat you can "tell" happens. 

Garan's get da ones who play "games" while peeing in da stall whether it be da "Kamikaze game" or da "aim at da watah line to get close as you can without touching it game". And if it's a real long session, you up da ante trying to go left to right seeing how accurate you can be while you still get "ammo".

And yes ladies, some men do "wipe".

I'm most definitely a stall man for one reason and one reason only..... I don't enjoy back splash from da urinals. Trust and believe, NO ONE walks away from there "dry".

So how you make shi-shi? Or you too shame for share?   :razz: 

 

DA PIDGIN WORD OF DA DAY! -
(as quoted from Da Kine Dictionary &/or Pidgin To Da Max… wit a Braddah Lance twist)

SHI-SHI
(SHEE she)

Haole Translation: Peeing, pissing, pee

Sentence: “Wea da bathroom? I gotta go shi-shi.”

Sentence: “Eh! Make surah you lift da seat if you going shi-shi eh?!.”

 

Braddah Lance Kwon

Posted in WWD! | 81 Comments »

81 Responses to “Only Da Brave - Or No Shame - Need Reply”

  1. Rosette:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rlKSLvhwPM

    well we got new toilet ..less water at the bottom so no splash..you put a bit of toilet paper at the bottom no clean up after....I use a large ziploc to clean our toilet easy I just reverse the large ziploc after..oh I tell my husband so how do you guys pee I was curious.....after 19 years of marriage with two boys well not much to see! FLUSH THE DAMN THING!


  2. Rosette:

    yes try having conversation with this lady selling the toilet..she told me her toilet has less water too but the thing is POO stuck to the toilet bowl so I told her she has to tell everybody to put a bit of toilet paper so it wont stick to the side and no splash..after two kids no shame..you clean enough poo..better teach the boys to shake that thing funny..his father's job that!


  3. Ocean Lover:

    HOLY PEE! I am tearing up from laughing!

    The floor and "up" urinals..........HATE THEM as garans going get some "splash" get on your leg.

    You forgot the guys that if they wearing shorts they HIKE ONE SIDE UP.....whip "IT" out and "go". Den afta they walk outta da bathroom dere shorts on ONE SIDE IS RIDING and all wrinkled. ;-)

    Then there's the other "game" guys play.....well at least I do. If got a "curly Q" in the urinal from an EARLIER PATRON (Ewwwwwwwwwwwww) we all try and push it down the drain with our pee power. NO LIE.....we ALL DO DAT. ;-)

    I've seen the guys with the "bombing spit" technique and could never associate with that as when I answer nature's call I'm quick and to the point.

    Mahalo BL for making me laugh..........

    OL


  4. Kage:

    Okay, wow, super observational skills you have there mister..... :shock:


  5. Kage:

    Auright, I will admit to some of the stuff that you described....

    I like the urinals with water at the bottom because it lessens the chance of splash backs.

    If we can not fut in the bathroom, where else shall we do it. I figure that is the bestest place to do that bodily function. Good thing the ones at work have hallway doors so it is less likely to echo down the halls... :lol:


  6. Rosette:

    picture a swimmer diver has to poo inside his swim suit!


  7. rayboyjr:

    :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: Happy PEE Day!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

    ... hey Braddah Lance ... yeah, fricken yeah baybee!!! ... I still can't believe your blog today ... not only about pee-ing ... but all the fine little intricate details ... that probably only us men know ... but I am grinning it up right now ... as I can't full-on laugh 'cause co-workers will think I'm a weirdo ...

    ... the stories I could tell about what goes on in the men's bathroom ... most can't be repeated here though ... sorry ...

    ... one type of urinal that I absolutely hated ... was the circular trough type ... where sometimes you're literally facing another guy ... directly across you who's pee-ing too!!! ... WTF was up with that one?!! ... who the heck thought of that design ... maybe was a woman!!! ... :D ...

    ... Have a Good LONG RELIEVING One Everyone!!! ...


  8. hemajang:

    wow laulau, you got some shi-shi action going dea. And if you wearing jeans, do you unbutton the top and zip down or just zip down? I always fumble around if only zip down so most time have to unbutton the top button...get more room to maneuver. Maybe guys who don't unbutton top button not wearing underwear?

    Anyway, at home, wife trained me well and will sit down for shi-shi. Plus you don't have to handle the da kine, just pull down da shorts/pants, sit, shi-shi, do a little tahitian for da tinkle or occasional dainty wipe and off you go. Oh yeah, wash da hands...important.


  9. rayboyjr:

    ... okay, one think I'll admit I do is wipe after every pee ... :roll:

    ... of course, for sanitary reasons ... I'll always take a kleenex, paper towel, whatever with me ... so after I'm done with #1 ... gotta wipe 'em ...

    ... beecause ... and no lie guys ... no matter how much you jump up and down ... or do the pee-removal body shake ... or flip your your weiner up and down ... all the pee is not completely out ... still get a little on the tip ...

    ... so if you don't wipe it off ... guarantee, it ends up on your BBD's or boxers or pants ...

    ... apologies for being so graphic!!! ... :D :D :D


  10. GA Bows:

    LMAO.... almost got busted from laughing so much and loud.

    I'm guilty of some of the stuff you wrote about, my wife can vouch for dat.


  11. AC:

    BL, you forgot the discussion about how many men actually use their underwear fly to pee.


  12. M:

    Howzit BL! :)

    You know a lot about dis topic :shock:

    You forgot to add some wash hands some don't. :shock:

    I use one hand

    I look at straight at da wall

    I shake up and down

    I wash my hands

    There, I said it. :shock:


  13. snow:

    :shock: i'm trying to erase the images from my mind as i type! lol... too funny, though! :lol: so you must be making side eye at all the guys in the bathrooms!?! :shock:


  14. snow:

    thank good women's restrooms have doors! :)


  15. snow:

    oops, i meant, thank god!


  16. HNL2LAS:

    Bahhaahah! Uhmm thanks BL for the uhh male perspective in the bathrooms?? Hilarious yet so informative! hee hee... I always wonder what the men's bathroom looks like when I'm waiting in a looooong line for the women's bathroom.. and the guys are in/out!!

    Haha, but please take the extra minute to wash your hands eeeeeewww hahaah... (just a general comment, this not to BL, haha).


  17. Coconut Willy:

    I remember when Mahajara nightclub opened. They had crushed ice in the urinals. My co-worker said they did that in Japan.

    Why do people spit out their gum in the urinal?


  18. Rodney Lee:

    Note to self: Don't go into the restroom when BL is there.


  19. Rodney Lee:

    "No matter how much you dance and prance,
    The last few drops always go down your pants"


  20. 808 Dad:

    If any of you have been to the Aloha Stadium men’s bathroom you know in the middle is a circular sink to wash your hands in. A couple of seasons ago I saw this really drunk dude taking a PEE in it. Everyone was around washing their hands and the guy just staggers in and drops his pants to his ankles and starts doing his business. Everyone started yelling at him but he just continued until he was pau and walks out. I can never wash my hands at that sink without thinking about it. I’ll do almost anything it get that image out of my head.


  21. Rodney Lee:

    Speaking of the Aloha Stadium bathrooms, they have those stainless steel trough kine where four or five guys line up shoulder to shoulder to do their business.

    When we used to go to UH football games and make the halftime bathroom run, holding during the whole second quarter, I would finally get up to the trough, and then... stage fright. No can go.

    So I stand and wait and try to relax. Meanwhile the guy next to me leaves and another guy steps up. He does his business and leaves while I'm still waiting for the show to start. But too much nerves. So I pretend I'm pau. Shake three times (because if you shake more than three times, people think you playing). Zip it up, wash hands, and exit.

    Wait outside and after the crowd thins out, then I go in and take care of business.

    But nowadays, being MLC - cannot even wait until halftime.


  22. hemajang:

    @rayboyjr, I'm trying to think where I have seen those circular urinals, whea get those? At Ft. Polk, Louisiana, the old barracks had open latrines and showers, no stalls and toilets along walls so you facing or next to a buddy while #2 and showers were on another wall...talk about no privacy. No can hide your bathroom ritual or system, you would have a field day "observing", BL. Anyone seen the movie "Tigerland" with Colin Farrell? Great movie and was filmed at Ft. Polk and had a scene in one of those open latrine/shower...very authentic.


  23. Rodney Lee:

    Here's on game I haven't played in a long time. Remember when people used to throw their cigarette butts into the urinal? The objective of the game was to blast the paper part of the cigarette until it broke open and all the tobacco scattered around.

    It required a fine balance of using enough power in your stream to break open the paper, but keeping enough for when the paper broke open so you could move the shredded tobacco around.

    The pits is when you just about break open the paper, but run out - knowing that the next guy will get to scatter around all the tobacco. I hate when that happens.


  24. Rodney Lee:

    Sign posted above urinal printed in bold:
    DO NOT THROW CIGARETTE BUTTS INTO THE URINAL

    Handwritten under the bold print:
    As it makes them soggy and hard to light. Night janitor


  25. Braddah Lance:

    Rosette:
    ....I use a large ziploc to clean our toilet easy I just reverse the large ziploc after..

    Huh? You don't flush?
    ...................................
    ...................................

    Ocean Lover:
    The floor and "up" urinals..........HATE THEM as garans going get some "splash" get on your leg.

    Rogah dat!

    You forgot the guys that if they wearing shorts they HIKE ONE SIDE UP.....whip "IT" out and "go".

    I nevah fo'get dat one.... das MLC style so I no do 'em li'dat. :lol:

    Then there's the other "game" guys play.....well at least I do. If got a "curly Q" in the urinal from an EARLIER PATRON (Ewwwwwwwwwwwww) we all try and push it down the drain with our pee power. NO LIE.....we ALL DO DAT.

    No, I don't........ I flush first and as it's going down I try and "hit it"..... don't want any accidental splashes on me if it ain't "mine". :lol:

    I've seen the guys with the "bombing spit" technique and could never associate with that as when I answer nature's call I'm quick and to the point.

    Sometimes peeing not so quick wen gotta unload a full bladder. :grin:

    Mahalo BL for making me laugh..........

    Anytime......... uncle.
    .....................................
    .....................................

    Kage:
    Okay, wow, super observational skills you have there mister.....

    It's a gift. :razz:

    I like the urinals with water at the bottom because it lessens the chance of splash backs.

    Not for da short guys. Gurans get splash back! :mad:

    If we can not fut in the bathroom, where else shall we do it.

    Da car?
    ...................................
    ...................................

    Rosette:
    picture a swimmer diver has to poo inside his swim suit!

    Why inside?
    .................................
    .................................

    rayboyjr:
    ... the stories I could tell about what goes on in the men's bathroom ... most can't be repeated here though ... sorry ...

    Boys will be boys.

    ... one type of urinal that I absolutely hated ... was the circular trough type ... where sometimes you're literally facing another guy

    Heh? I've nevah seen one of those? I would have waited for a stall. :grin:
    ....................................
    ....................................

    hemajang:
    And if you wearing jeans, do you unbutton the top and zip down or just zip down?

    Oh heck yeah gotta unbotton da top bumbye you get one "accident" cause you thought was down but was still up.

    Maybe guys who don't unbutton top button not wearing underwear?

    Uh, all I tink about is "Something Like Mary" - Franks and beans... franks and beans!

    Anyway, at home, wife trained me well and will sit down for shi-shi...do a little tahitian for da tinkle

    I hea some guys are well trained to do dat but if I going sit down to pee you bettah believe dat's not da only thing coming out. "Little Tahitian"? :lol:
    ..................................
    ..................................

    rayboyjr:
    ... beecause ... and no lie guys ... no matter how much you jump up and down ... or do the pee-removal body shake ... or flip your your weiner up and down ... all the pee is not completely out ... still get a little

    Rogah dat!
    ..................................
    ..................................

    GA Bows:
    LMAO.... almost got busted from laughing so much and loud.

    If you get in trouble, blame it on da ODDah blog. :grin:

    I'm guilty of some of the stuff you wrote about, my wife can vouch for dat.

    Da Wife has also witnessed it too.... she's even my living proof for da world's longest pee. I swear it was like for five minutes!


  26. hemajang:

    Kid time, we had contest on who could pee the fartest (sp?) or make pee patterns on the dirt. At our farm, we didn't have indoor toilet and if you only had to pee, you just walk over to the bushes and take a leak.


  27. KAN:

    TMI!!! But funny :-)


  28. Ynaku:

    Guilty on all counts your honor :lol:

    I just like hema too, make picha in da dirt. See who can shoot da fartest.

    In bowl, try see how much bubbles can make.

    If bug (smashed kakaroach) is in the water doing back stroke, try see if can drown um. :D


  29. rayboyjr:

    @hemajang ... stupid thing about the circular urinal ... is I remember seeing it ... maybe even using it (no one else around, of course) ... but I don't remember where ... an old stadium??? ... or amusement park??? ...

    ... I hope it's not a figment of my rampant imagination ...


  30. Kage:

    @RBJ- #7 - ". one type of urinal that I absolutely hated ... was the circular trough type ... where sometimes you're literally facing another guy ."

    DATS NOT one urinal man!!! That was the sink!!! :lol:


  31. LRob:

    BL - also gotta ask:

    Do you use the midget urinal? or the regular urinal?
    Unbutton/unzip the entire pants? Or just the peephole?

    If I ever redo my bathroom at home, I'm installing a urinal CHEEHOO!!!


  32. hemajang:

    Da older you get, da shi-shi lose powah. Plus da tinkle sometimes go on forevah like one leaky faucet...time to change gasket. Garans goin' lost pee contest with young man BL.


  33. Ozzie:

    Okay ... I gotta admit when I was a fourth-grader, we had tall urinals (five side-by-side) and we'd play the long distance pissing game. The aim (no pun intended) was to see who can shoot the longest stream of wiz to the urinal. You start close and then you work your way back, trying to keep aim. The one who go move back the furthest would win. My tactic was to drink plenty of water before recess and just let it go when we'd meet up in the bathroom. My best was six feet away ... what can I say, we took our game seriously. One thing for sure, the janitor really hated his job, as guaranteed some kids were terrible shots :)


  34. KAN:

    Why did the ad for overactive bladder issues show up on the right side? 8-O I'm not making this up. Go try 'em, go, see, go try 'em.


  35. Braddah Lance:

    AC:
    BL, you forgot the discussion about how many men actually use their underwear fly to pee.

    Uh, I don't.... takes too long. :razz:
    .................................
    .................................

    M:
    You know a lot about dis topic

    Years of study. :lol:

    You forgot to add some wash hands some don't.

    I thought dat was a given.

    I use one hand
    I look at straight at da wall
    I shake up and down
    I wash my hands
    There, I said it.

    Now I'll "know" who you are next time I walk into a bathroom. :lol: :shock:
    .................................
    .................................

    snow:
    i'm trying to erase the images from my mind as i type!

    Why? :lol:

    so you must be making side eye at all the guys in the bathrooms!?!

    Oh hells no! Da urinal is da first thing you see wen you enter a guy's bathroom silly..... and you can't help but look. :razz:

    thank good women's restrooms have doors!

    Only recently in "newer" bathrooms have urinals begun to have "dividers". :roll:
    .........................................
    .........................................

    HNL2LAS:
    Hilarious yet so informative!

    You know how we roll at WWD!..... or now, how we make shi-shi. :wink:

    .. and the guys are in/out!!

    Those are da ones who no tinkle and no wash hands. :lol:

    Haha, but please take the extra minute to wash your hands eeeeeewww hahaah... (just a general comment, this not to BL, haha).

    Ok, does wash your hands mean wit soap? Cause I see people rinse their hands but not wit soap.
    ......................................
    ......................................

    Coconut Willy:
    I remember when Mahajara nightclub opened. They had crushed ice in the urinals. My co-worker said they did that in Japan.

    Huh waaat? Crushed ice? Is it so if you'd know if you gotten splashed or not cause you'd be able to feel da "cold"?

    Why do people spit out their gum in the urinal?

    Cause they messed up on da Kamikaze game. :lol:
    .....................................
    .....................................

    Rodney Lee:
    Note to self: Don't go into the restroom when BL is there.

    It's ok, I'll go in aftah you. :roll:

    "No matter how much you dance and prance,
    The last few drops always go down your pants"

    :lol:
    .......................................
    .......................................

    808 Dad:
    If any of you have been to the Aloha Stadium men’s bathroom you know in the middle is a circular sink to wash your hands in. A couple of seasons ago I saw this really drunk dude taking a PEE in it.

    Dude must have been pretty tall cause dat buggah is decently high and unless you're tall, da "angle" would seem a bit tough to get.

    I can never wash my hands at that sink without thinking about it. I’ll do almost anything it get that image out of my head.

    Mahalos..... me too now. :lol: Lots of soap and watah lots of soap and watah


  36. Tahoe-gal:

    Oh mi-gawwwd...this is so worthy of a second read! Who knew!

    Talk about mesmerizing and totally enjoying a voyeuristic state. I almost went to get some popcorn.
    Never knew about the 'pareau wrap', the various stances (what a visual!), all the different urinal designs, chipped ice in the trough (huh?), the cigarette aim-and-destroy mission...wow. Talk about p-envy (and I don't mean pee).

    Actually, I was doing good until I got to the part about the pee-fut phenomenon. Then I lost it.


  37. Ozzie:

    As an observer, I share this: what's even worse is that after certain hygiene-deficient dudes finish their business, make it obvious by their "Awww crap!" comments that they splattered their own hands with piss, then try to shake what droplets they have on their hands; and then still walk out without washing their hands ... and then you see them line up to get food at the potluck! F'-ing gross! That's why I stay clear of office potlucks or any food-sharing occasions.
    On a side note: I feel sorry for the ladies who don't know which dudes don't wash their hands after they drop a leak - I'm sure they've unknowingly shaken plenty of shi-shi hands.


  38. Ocean Lover:

    Hey Ozzie...............you like SHAKE HANDS? ;-)

    OL...........just trying to WELCOME a new guy


  39. visitor:

    BL your observations are so accurate...hilarious!

    Rodney: Your Aloha Stadium story reminds me of a time when we're shoulder to shoulder at the long stainless urinal and a guy comes next to me. When he starts, he has a "split stream!" I'm so afraid that I'm going to get hit, but there's no room to maneuver or dodge. Thankfully, I finished and got out of there dry.


  40. Rodney Lee:

    "split stream" - LOL


  41. opso:

    eh...wat bout da urinal usage rulz?
    y'know.....if get tree or more urinals.....always use da furthest one. den da next guy uses da nearest one.....den da next guy goes wheaevas.....and if possible.......using da "one urinal in between spacing" rule. :lol:

    but den get some guys dat dunno da rulz and just use da one right in da middle. aigoo... :roll:

    and also.....you know why you do da shiver after going shi-shi? dey say it's because of da quick loss of body heat. make sense to me.


  42. Rodney Lee:

    A plumber once told me that we should be washing our hands BEFORE we go shi-shi, not after.

    When asked why, he replied: "You know all the places your da-kine has been since the last time you washed it, right? But can you tell me all the places your hands have been since the last time you washed it?"

    Makes sense to me. But I still think people should wash their hands after.


  43. Scott:

    Try peeing while holding a baby in your arms! I've been doing that a lot lately as I've been whisking my boy around town on errands. It's kind of messy, but I've gotten good at it!
    Eh BL, just wait until you're changing the diapers and you get the stream in your face. It's gonna happen sooner or later :)


  44. Rodney Lee:

    @opso - da shiver? We called it da wiggle.


  45. Seawalker:

    Way too funny! @808 Dad, really hope I wasn't the guy peeing in the sink. We did some pretty wild stuff at the U.H. football games!

    You know what freaks me out, BL? When you go in the men's room with plenty of open urinals and toilets to pee, this one braddah has to take the one right next to you. With guys, it's all about spacing and territory. Worse yet, he breaks the unwritten rule and looks you straight in the eye!

    Wrong bathroom braddah, the mahu one is between the men's and women's...

    Technique to avoid splashing: Pee to the side of the urinal. If you do it straight on, it comes back to you straight on. If you angle it, then the action is deflected.


  46. King Katonk:

    Our office decided to go "green" and installed those new-fangled waterless urinals. It’s supposed to save thousand of gallons over the course of a year. I just don’t get it. Where does all the “4 – 4” go? And it’s strange that you don’t even flush; just do your business and leave.

    What I don’t get is those guys who push themselves right against the urinal. Does that limit the backsplash?

    BTW - whenever I think of urinals I always recall Sgt. Stedenko in Cheech ‘n Chong’s “Up In Smoke.”

    Good Laughs BL...


  47. snow:

    you guys are too funny... but i sure wish i didn't know some of you! ha ha ha! *cleansing the brain, again*

    Tahoe-gal - "pee-fut phenomenon"... omg, that's a too funny description! :lol:


  48. Michael:

    http://images-partners-tbn.google.com/images?q=tbn:0WU2o_moo9a8uM::to55er.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/clown-urinal1.jpg

    only the brave will use this. Just thinking of using this gives me chicken skin.


  49. Braddah Lance:

    Rodney Lee:
    When we used to go to UH football games and make the halftime bathroom run, holding during the whole second quarter, I would finally get up to the trough, and then... stage fright. No can go.

    :lol: LMAO :lol: Me too! Although I do end up peeing cause gotta make room for more beea. :mrgreen:
    ...................................
    ...................................

    hemajang:
    No can hide your bathroom ritual or system, you would have a field day "observing", BL.

    Uh, no ways Jose! I'd just go in da bushes.
    ..............................
    ..............................

    Rodney Lee:
    Here's on game I haven't played in a long time. Remember when people used to throw their cigarette butts into the urinal? The objective of the game was to blast the paper part of the cigarette until it broke open and all the tobacco scattered around.

    They wouldn't do it now wen it's like $10 a pack. And wat kine MLC moment is dat wea you throw your ciggy's in da urinal? :shock:

    Sign posted above urinal printed in bold:
    DO NOT THROW CIGARETTE BUTTS INTO THE URINAL
    Handwritten under the bold print:
    As it makes them soggy and hard to light. Night janitor

    :lol:
    ...............................
    ...............................

    hemajang:
    ...or make pee patterns on the dirt.

    Isn't dat calld mud? :razz:

    At our farm, we didn't have indoor toilet and if you only had to pee, you just walk over to the bushes and take a leak.

    No outhouse?
    ................................
    ................................

    KAN:
    TMI!!! But funny

    Dat wasn't even da half of it. And no lie, you going ask Sweetie if stay true or not. :lol:
    ................................
    ................................

    Ynaku:
    If bug (smashed kakaroach) is in the water doing back stroke, try see if can drown um.

    :lol: Me too! And even so rarely you get da "Hercules" roach wea even da flush no can get 'em...... those da ones I stay scared of! :shock:
    .................................
    .................................

    Kage:
    DATS NOT one urinal man!!! That was the sink!!!

    :lol:


  50. Kage:

    SPLIT-STREAM!!!!

    AAAAHAHAAHAAHAhahaahahaahaha!
    ROFL :lol:

    *picking myself off the floor*


  51. 91boz:

    @ Visitor-- Talking about "split streams" That happened to me at the old Pali golf course. I was at the urinal doing my thing and a man next to me starts a "split stream" hitting my leg." Eh sorry eh, sorry" he says as he starts to wipe my leg and $hoes with da paper towel. -- WWD! -- Wow talk about one precarious situation! Lucky thing no one walked in at the time.

    For me unbutton pants, Zip down, pull down bvd's aim and shoot. If public trough the proper etiquette is to look straight ahead no look around. Yes, and I always spit into the urinal or toilet too!

    A good friend told me funny story about a man and his young son shi shi ing at the Aloha stadium trough when out of the blue the young boy says "Daddy Daddy you see the mans one, Ho da big yea? The boys father's face turned beet red in embarrassment. That's why I think its good to teach them when small to look straight ahead, no look around.


  52. David In Oregon:

    Aigoo, are these words of wisdom going to be compiled into a book for the unborn Kwon? :razz:


  53. Rodney Lee:

    I'm not sure what kind of round urinals you guys talking about, but at Ala Moana center - the big bathroom on the side of Centerstage has round urinals. When you walk in, past the sinks, the right side wall is lined up with regular rectangle kine urinals. But on the left side are about 3 round urinals before the line of stalls start.


  54. Elapo:

    My late good friend Lionel who was a big guy told me his secret. He said he sat down on the commode to pee. He said standing up caused the urine to splash back on the seat and outside to the floor. JD said he did the same thing only in the morning though. He said his doctor told him not to lift anything heavy the first thing in the morning. Like a good troop, I listen to my elders.


  55. Rosette:

    @ Braddah Lance..yes we flush..but I don't use those filthy brush to clean the toilet because our toilet uses less water in the bowl....it flushes really fast and you can hear the suction.... I figure it is easier to just use the large ziploc it cleans really good inside the bowl and I find the brush have dirty residue.....this way our toilet is clean....you never know what kind of crap in the brush ! ziploc is much better for the type of toilet we have.


  56. 91boz:

    Eh Rod #21 Funny ---- It happens to me too. You have to go shi shi but when time to go nothing comes out? Maybe like you said stage fright? ---- WWD!

    I get one bad habit. When I pow or think I pow shi shi I flush da toilet but then I realize that some more still coming out. I have to flush twice!


  57. Ocean Lover:

    When my son was around 3 years old "we" were peeing and he looked at me in FULL SPLIT STREAM and eyes open wide and with the innocence of a child said "HOW do you do that?"

    I smiled and in all truthfulness told him "It TAKES PRACTICE". :-)

    He's 13 years old now.....and I wonder if HE can "split stream". ;-)

    OL................this post is CLASSIC


  58. Rosette:

    do you ever wonder after you use the toilet brush once it should be toss..what if the person is filthy then splashes up your butt...you catch disease for sure omg..


  59. Rosette:

    yes try doing your stop pee in between after you have your kid...FEMALE ISSUES......try laughing hard you peee your pants!


  60. Rosette:

    hey all this I bring my own large ziploc for emergency...funny!


  61. Rosette:

    I have one good advice before you take a cras somewhere you flush the toilet first just in case the toilet is a dud!


  62. Rosette:

    yes always check which toilet has the best flush...funny!


  63. Rosette:

    do you ever have a contest to see who does it the longest...omg!


  64. Rosette:

    longest pee...funny...one time I was trying to potty train my son ..one lady said to toss a candy smarties inside the toilet and let the boy aim..HOW WOULD I KNOW THE DARN KID WILL PICK THAT CANDY OUT FROM TOILET NAD EAT IT .. so much for her stupid advice...next thing a kid will throw all sort of junk in the toilet ...omg


  65. Scott:

    Yeah, gotta love split stream pee! (or viper pee)
    It's usually after a long night's sleep, or something even better ;)
    Sorry ladies, this post is begging for tmi :)


  66. sally:

    Split Pee? bhahaha!

    Guys are so lucky they can pee anyplace. Pull over on the side of the road and go for it.

    Gals not so lucky. 'nuff said.


  67. KAN:

    And no lie, you going ask Sweetie if stay true or not.

    Guilty as charged, Your Honor.


  68. Kage:

    @OL - #57 Takes practice.!!......haahahahahaha.

    BL- Love this topic today. I have not laughed so much about one topic in a long time. Mahalo.


  69. sally:

    OL #57: I love your stories of male bonding. LOL


  70. Koreankanak:

    BL...funny stuff. All my experiences have already been shared by previous bloggers.


  71. Ozzie:

    @OceanLover: Yep, I shook your hand after I dumped a colossal load and I didn't wash my hands ;)


  72. Glenn Miyashiro:

    BL...2 funny...good topic...depends on wea i stay...if i stay home i pee pee sitting down...da reason, growin up i stay all forget to put da seat down, so i wen train myself to leave it down and just pee pee sittin down...da buggah wen work, i no moa get in trouble 4 forgetting to put da seat down....if i stay pee pee in public i pee pee standin up, i no need worry bout put da seat up cause no moa one wahine for yell at me because i forgot to put da seat down...


  73. Seawalker:

    You know what's worse than pee backsplash?

    Sometimes when your $hit is dry and clumpy...bombs away. Doo-doo backsplash! Try wiping the water off your but(t) cheeks. Gross!


  74. Rosette:

    yes to avoid backsplash you are suppose to put a bit of toilet paper in the bowl.... you eat food that is I think bran or something and do not push too hard slowly ..omg funny! that is why I argue with my husband to buy decent toilet that is water saver yet it flushes good.....our toilet has less water at the bottom so you put a bit of toilet paper no splash...I also clean out our toilet with large ziploc I use dry disposable cloth
    ..I flush the toilet first then close the valve then I use the dry disposable wipe wipe wipe voile reverse the ziploc ..CLEAN ...no contamination from dirty brushes!!!.... if the toilet splashes up your bum you run and shower fast...lucky our tub is close by the toilet you shower quick ! I usually shower after crap anyway...yes you wash your hand first before you do your business and wash after....or use the toilet paper and don't touch yoru private..omg funny!..but if you are in public bathroom you make sure you pull a bit of toilet paper ...this way the toilet paper is cleaner...OMG JUST GO HOME if you are paranoid of public bathroom.


  75. TwoFish:

    Oh man, I'm at work in an office with cubicles, laughing so hard, and now having a hard time breathing! Time for a break.


  76. Ocean Lover:

    @ #71......my new friend OZZIE:

    No wonder you smelled "funky" afta I met you. ;-) ;-)

    OL


  77. acuradriver02:

    BL~

    Finally get chance to chime in :-) Funny topic today!!!

    At home, just sit down (same rationale as Glenn, #72)...especially early in AM, when I get up, can't even stand steady. And if I sit down, I can doze a few more minutes :-)

    When go out/not at home, stand up...gotta man up, right??

    Hmmm...seems there are quite a few comments about Aloha Stadium... I still remember the time we went for UH football game and you know how everyone in the dang stadium seems to all go at the same time. Anyways, was in there, standing at the trough, taking care of business (look up, look down, but NEVER EVER look to either side of you, that's an unspoken rule, right?). Anyways, halfway through, in walks in these girls (and not obachan kine either) to use the stalls in the men's room (guess they had emergency or just impatient). They walked in, trying to make like they cover their eyes...yeah right...cover those virgin eyes, LOL. Pretty soon, there's quite a few coming in, then going out. Now, if that doesn't give you "stage fright"... :-) But for the record, I finished my business :-)


  78. Bre:

    I've been gone for a bit and come back to this blog. Way too funny!!! Thanx for the insight of the men's bathroom. I will have to ask hubby his style tomorrow.


  79. Braddah Lance:

    31.LRob:
    BL - also gotta ask:
    Do you use the midget urinal? or the regular urinal?
    Unbutton/unzip the entire pants? Or just the peephole?

    Urinal is nevah my first choice - even if I gotta wait. Only emergency I use 'em.
    Unzip da entire pants of course and nevah da peephole... if "feeling waaay too good" and stay home, I just drop da whole pants/undahwear and all. :mrgreen:

    If I ever redo my bathroom at home, I'm installing a urinal CHEEHOO!!!

    Watchout for backsplash. :grin:
    ..............................
    ..............................

    hemajang:
    Da older you get, da shi-shi lose powah. Plus da tinkle sometimes go on forevah like one leaky faucet...time to change gasket. Garans goin' lost pee contest with young man BL.

    LMAO! Change gasket! :lol: I'm almost there... leaky faucet and all. :lol:
    ..........................
    ..........................

    Ozzie:
    The aim (no pun intended) was to see who can shoot the longest stream of wiz to the urinal. You start close and then you work your way back, trying to keep aim. The one who go move back the furthest would win.

    I used to do dat sometimes too.... but I'd be da only contestant. :grin:

    E Komo Mai to WWD! Ozzie! So glad you could drop in and hope you'll become a regulah!

    One thing for sure, the janitor really hated his job, as guaranteed some kids were terrible shots

    Boy I can imagine.
    .............................
    .............................

    KAN:
    Why did the ad for overactive bladder issues show up on the right side? I'm not making this up. Go try 'em, go, see, go try 'em.

    I had an insurance ad. :grin:
    ............................
    ............................

    Tahoe-gal:
    Oh mi-gawwwd...this is so worthy of a second read! Who knew!

    :lol: E Komo Mai back! And to a post like dis too. :grin:

    Talk about p-envy (and I don't mean pee).

    Das why wahines are in and out quick and da guys take "forevah". :lol:

    Actually, I was doing good until I got to the part about the pee-fut phenomenon. Then I lost it.

    Waaaaat? Wahines no do dat?
    ..........................
    ..........................

    Ozzie:
    ....make it obvious by their "Awww crap!" comments that they splattered their own hands with piss, then try to shake what droplets they have on their hands; and then still walk out without washing their hands ... and then you see them line up to get food at the potluck!

    :shock: I'm guessing you witnessed dat one personally. :shock:

    On a side note: I feel sorry for the ladies who don't know which dudes don't wash their hands after they drop a leak - I'm sure they've unknowingly shaken plenty of shi-shi hands.

    It's Pee Roulette. :razz:
    ..........................
    ..........................

    Ocean Lover:
    OL...........just trying to WELCOME a new guy

    I know I'm late. :sad:
    .............................
    .............................

    visitor:
    BL your observations are so accurate...hilarious!

    :grin:

    ....long stainless urinal and a guy comes next to me. When he starts, he has a "split stream!" I'm so afraid that I'm going to get hit, but there's no room to maneuver or dodge.

    LMAO! Split stream! I completely fo'got about dat one! :lol: Buuuuut..... you've seen split stream go....... sideways???
    ...........................
    ...........................

    opso:
    eh...wat bout da urinal usage rulz?

    I wondah if wahines do dat too?

    and also.....you know why you do da shiver after going shi-shi? dey say it's because of da quick loss of body heat. make sense to me.

    :lol: Geez, I completely fo'got about dat one too! I thought if it was a "good" pee you do da shiver. :wink:
    ............................
    ............................

    Rodney Lee:
    A plumber once told me that we should be washing our hands BEFORE we go shi-shi, not after.

    Makes sense...... only if you planning on doing "da kine" shortly aftah oddahwise should be clean aftah you shower right?
    .............................
    .............................

    Scott:
    Try peeing while holding a baby in your arms! I've been doing that a lot lately as I've been whisking my boy around town on errands. It's kind of messy, but I've gotten good at it!

    So you're da one making da floor wet! :lol:

    Eh BL, just wait until you're changing the diapers and you get the stream in your face. It's gonna happen sooner or later

    You're assuming I'm da one going to be changing diapers. :roll:
    ........................
    ........................

    Rodney Lee:
    @opso - da shiver? We called it da wiggle.

    Da wiggle? Ho, totally MLC eh?
    .........................
    .........................

    Seawalker:
    You know what freaks me out, BL? When you go in the men's room with plenty of open urinals and toilets to pee, this one braddah has to take the one right next to you.

    :shock: Yeah, I no like dat either. :shock:

    Worse yet, he breaks the unwritten rule and looks you straight in the eye!

    Well.......... you was lookin' too. :shock: :razz: :lol:

    Technique to avoid splashing: Pee to the side of the urinal. If you do it straight on, it comes back to you straight on. If you angle it, then the action is deflected.

    I tried dat da oddah day..... still had back splash but just more one side than da oddah.
    .................................
    .................................

    King Katonk:
    Our office decided to go "green" and installed those new-fangled waterless urinals. It’s supposed to save thousand of gallons over the course of a year.

    Waterless? I don't like da sound of dat.

    “4 – 4”

    :grin:

    What I don’t get is those guys who push themselves right against the urinal. Does that limit the backsplash?

    It's a pick your poison..... backsplash or sneak a peak? :lol:
    ...................................
    ...................................

    snow:
    you guys are too funny... but i sure wish i didn't know some of you! ha ha ha! *cleansing the brain, again*

    hee hee..... too bad. :lol:

    Tahoe-gal - "pee-fut phenomenon"... omg, that's a too funny description!

    C'mon! You tellin' me dat wahines don't do dat? Or you guys no fut and tell? :lol:
    ...............................
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    Michael:
    only the brave will use this. Just thinking of using this gives me chicken skin.

    Is dat a round urinal? :lol:


  80. Michael:

    Scary huh?


  81. Braddah Lance:

    91boz:
    ...I was at the urinal doing my thing and a man next to me starts a "split stream" hitting my leg."

    WOW! It really does go sideways DAT much? I've had my share but not dat wild.

    ...he starts to wipe my leg and $hoes with da paper towel. -- WWD! -- Wow talk about one precarious situation! Lucky thing no one walked in at the time.

    Ugh. I would have golfed barefoot aftah dat.

    ...the young boy says "Daddy Daddy you see the mans one, Ho da big yea? The boys father's face turned beet red in embarrassment. That's why I think its good to teach them when small to look straight ahead, no look around.

    I'll remembah dat. :grin: :lol: Too funny!
    ...............................
    ...............................

    David In Oregon:
    Aigoo, are these words of wisdom going to be compiled into a book for the unborn Kwon?

    No book needed..... learn as you go. :lol:
    ...............................
    ...............................

    Rodney Lee:
    I'm not sure what kind of round urinals you guys talking about, but at Ala Moana center - the big bathroom on the side of Centerstage has round urinals.

    Really? Hmmm, now I gotta go "see". :lol:
    ..................................
    ..................................

    Elapo:
    ....He said his doctor told him not to lift anything heavy the first thing in the morning. Like a good troop, I listen to my elders.

    :lol: LMAO! :lol:
    .................................
    .................................

    91boz:
    I get one bad habit. When I pow or think I pow shi shi I flush da toilet but then I realize that some more still coming out. I have to flush twice!

    I used to do dat..... "time it out"........ sometimes goes into overtime though. :lol:
    ................................
    ................................

    Ocean Lover:
    When my son was around 3 years old "we" were peeing and he looked at me in FULL SPLIT STREAM and eyes open wide and with the innocence of a child said "HOW do you do that?" I smiled and in all truthfulness told him "It TAKES PRACTICE".

    :lol: Classic.
    ................................
    ................................

    Scott:
    Sorry ladies, this post is begging for tmi

    As long as no pictures are involved. :lol:
    ................................
    ................................

    sally:
    Guys are so lucky they can pee anyplace. Pull over on the side of the road and go for it.
    Gals not so lucky. 'nuff said.

    Uh, I beg to differ. I know some wahine dat pee anywea.... as long as get tissue.
    ...............................
    ...............................

    Kage:
    BL- Love this topic today. I have not laughed so much about one topic in a long time. Mahalo.

    As long as you didn't pee in your pants.
    ..............................
    ..............................

    Koreankanak:
    BL...funny stuff. All my experiences have already been shared by previous bloggers.

    :grin:
    .............................
    .............................

    Glenn Miyashiro:
    ....if i stay pee pee in public i pee pee standin up, i no need worry bout put da seat up cause no moa one wahine for yell at me because i forgot to put da seat down...

    You are well trained. :grin: And it's nice to pee in peace huh?
    ..............................
    ..............................

    Seawalker:
    Sometimes when your $hit is dry and clumpy...bombs away. Doo-doo backsplash! Try wiping the water off your but(t) cheeks. Gross!

    Yeah, those are NEVAH good. :sad:
    .............................
    .............................

    TwoFish:
    Oh man, I'm at work in an office with cubicles, laughing so hard, and now having a hard time breathing! Time for a break.

    Pee break?
    .............................
    .............................

    acuradriver02:
    At home, just sit down (same rationale as Glenn, #72)...especially early in AM, when I get up, can't even stand steady. And if I sit down, I can doze a few more minutes

    :lol: I do dat too...... doze for a few more minutes dat is. :grin:

    Anyways, halfway through, in walks in these girls (and not obachan kine either) to use the stalls in the men's room...Now, if that doesn't give you "stage fright"

    Like a frightened turtle! :lol:
    ...............................
    ...............................

    Bre:
    I've been gone for a bit and come back to this blog. Way too funny!!! Thanx for the insight of the men's bathroom. I will have to ask hubby his style tomorrow.

    :grin: You know how we roll..... well, now pee at WWD! :lol: