You Just Can't Do It... If You're A Guy
Being Mr.Mom da past year has been a challenge.
Between diaper changes, washing clothes, diaper changes, nap time, diaper changes, play time - did I mention diaper changes?
Then there's da whole multi-tasking thing and no mattah wat you tink.... GUYS CANNOT MULTI-TASK!
No get me wrong fellahs, we tink we can multi-task and and at times we kick some okole doing it (even though our oddah half no tink so) but wen it comes to multi-tasking involving a keiki.... sadly we cannot.
Our version of multi-tasking involves moments of grunts, groans and grumble. It may also involve light or heavy machinery of some kine and/or tools of various shapes and sizes. Added to dat da occasional break or two consisting either of a couch, seat, remote control, beverage or a combination of those two or three utilizing our multi-tasking skills even further. 😀
And really, wat is multi-tasking? I tink wen most of us hear "multi-tasking" we tink "two things at once" but in reality multi-tasking is trying to simutaneously do two separate things one at a time wen you stay waiting for one thing, you go do da oddah while waiting for watevah you stay waiting for and vice versa.... at da same time. 🙄
Tink about it.
You answer da phone while eating. Multi-tasking right? Weeeell, you not really talking AND chewing at da same time and if you tried - and no lie, I know you wen try - it gets messy. You not really watching tv AND reading a book and we most definitely not listening to da oddah half wen you (fill in da blank wit watevah it is dat you do).
So it was no surprise dat I figgah I'd kill two birds wit one stone about seven months ago.
Da Baby was running low on bottles and Da Wife was "multi-tasking" so I decided to boil watah for da bottles and get all da stuff we needed to paint da house. 20 minutes latah da watah stay boiling, I drop da bottles inside and set my body clock reminder to come back in 8 minutes.... * Jeopardy theme*
Shortly aftah, Da Wife stay talking to me about something and mentioned something about painting something... das all I remembah as I was "multi-tasking" and I guess da last thing I heard was painting so I started painting.
A few hours latah I smelled something burning but our neighbors upwind from us were having a paina and smoking a pig in their grill so I nevah tink nothing of it until..... I followed da smell and my body clock went off!
WASSUP WIT DAT! (G-rated version of wat actually came out of my mouth)
Sadly there's one bottle left.... there was five to start with along with nipples, caps and covers. 😯 It literally melted into foam and smoke.
Das da last time I multi-task wit anything involving a kitchen appliance.... hopefully you too. 😉 😉