Comes In Three's......

October 31st, 2011
By

After attending the Pray For Drew 52 fundraiser, it was fun seeing old friends and meeting new ones. There were a lot of helping hands to make the event successful and it was much appreciated by everyone who attended in person as well as in spirit.

They say things happen in threes and I'll admit I'm hoping (wishing) the adage is false right now.

At the fundraising event, I found out a very good friend of mine - since we were 13 - dad had passed away. The very eerie part of it was that I just saw her last week at a baby luau and we briefly talked about her dad. He passed away either later that same day or the next.

I was floored.

She wasn't in attendence considering but my heart sank standing there attending a fundraiser for a little boy whose fighting for his life while hearing such tragic news of a passing.

After we got home late and I was jumping out of my truck, my 90 year old neighbor as he usually does every Sunday, calls me over to pah-tay some more. I "reluctantly" oblige and notice a smaller crowd than usual and upon picking up a remark towards me, Aunty pulls me to the side and informs me that her husband was really sorry that he wasn't able to make it to Da Baby's 1st luau which was about a month ago.

I said, no worries and didn't think twice about it untill I noticed he wasn't there.

She then began to say that he had cancer and it spread quickly and while he really wanted to be at Da Baby's luau, he couldn't muster up the strength to attend after treatment. He passed away shortly after. I was taken aback and cried with her as she went through his struggles but it was good for Aunty to share and let it out.

After several hugs, I crossed the street, went upstairs and hugged Da Wife.

Is it selfish to thank God that while my ohana lay safe, dat my ohana outside of relatives are going through such tragic times all around me? Are any of us really safe? Not to be depressing or anything, but how do you cope with other people's tragedy?

I've told each of my friends that whatever they need, I'm there. Will they take me up on that? Probably not. During times where life itself is involved, immediate relatives step in and friends are there for the cushion afterwards. Isn't that a touchy area? Wat if a friend(s) were "showing up" a relative? Or wat if da relatives were passive in helping? How/when do you step in when everyone is sensitive?

I don't want to hear about a third especially with tonight being Halloween so stay safe, check all your blind spots and stay vigilant for keiki crossing the street and lolo's acking lolo.

Go home, have fun, pah-tay up but before anything else, go hug your wife, your husband, your daughter, your son, your aunty, your uncle, your mom, your dad. Give a relative or a friend you've been meaning to call a ring just to say wassup. Let 'em know you love 'em.

Have a spooktacular Halloween and save da gummy candy for me..... remembah, TRICK or treat! :grin:








Posted in WWD! | 23 Comments »

23 Responses to “Comes In Three's......”

  1. KAN:

    Aiyah, BL. That's so sad. No, it's not wrong to be glad your ohana is safe. It's also not wrong to offer to be there when times get tough, but it's hard to know what to do to help, huh.

    One of Sweetie's former co-workers, someone he's known for over 20 years, died suddenly last week. He was kinda grumpy on the surface, but he loved animals, and animals loved him--that's how I knew he was a good person.

    Treasures the ones you have while you can.


  2. islandgirlinnc:

    Oh BL, sorry to hear about what happened. The best thing you can do is offer your shoulder and your heart as you did. It's hard to say why things happen but they do. One day they are here and the next they may be gone. That is why we have to be thankful every day for the people who surround us and love us for who we are. And we can honor them by remembering all the things they brought to our lives. When my dad passed way, I was stunned to learn from a neighbor how my dad helped convinced him and his wife to adopt a young boy and his brother. Initially they only wanted to adopt one boy. They heard he had a brother and was afraid they couldn't handle it. But the neighbor said my dad talked to them about his children (my brother and I are both adopted though we are not biologically related) and his experiences. This convinced the neighbor to go ahead and adopt both and they were glad they did. He told me is was all because of my dad. So honor your friends and neighbors and relatives by remembering what they brought to your life and how you can give that to your family. Much aloha!


  3. M:

    Waaaassssuuupppp!
    This year my uncle passed away, my cousins wife passed away and a few weeks later my other cousin, sister of the brother that just lost his wife, husband passed away. Comes in three's? It did with our family.


  4. Keoni:

    BL, so sorry to hear such sad news. I belong to a cat group on Pethobbyist, and whenever anyone needs prayers, hugs or just letting them know you're there for them, we use the term "GLOW" to represent what we're feeling about them. I think that just letting the person know you're there for them fo' whatever is the best way to show your aloha.


  5. sally:

    Nothing is the wrong thing to do if it comes from the heart. And I'm real sorry that yours is aching and torn.

    My mom started her 2yr bout with cancer when I was 18. From then on it's been a wild ride of friends and family. I felt I was way too young to have to deal with this. You're not supposed to lose friends when you're not even mid 20's. Not supposed lose your parents before you have children. And then your friends' parents. Why? Looking back, I can see I was being taught.

    So it is only my POV when I say that I'd rather not see anyone suffering. I know I am being watched over in a way that would not have been possible otherwise. Knowwhuttimean?

    You were there for Aunty in a way more than you can imagine. You reconfirmed your heart to daWife. You gave sooooo much of yourself. It's not wrong. Not at all.


  6. sally:

    Several years ago I went thru a 4yr personal battle that was so bad, I can barely even recall a lot that happened in those 4 years. What people did for me is beyond the call of love and friendship. It was only because of them that I kept my sanity.

    I was pretty much in seclusion, didn't celebrate anything. Made excuses to everyone why I couldn't make it for Holiday and other celebrations. I was quite believable to many people... I could win an Oscar!

    Looking back it is interesting to see how people reacted. Or didn't know how to react.

    One friend in particular told me something that I now tell my other friends when they are in difficult situations. She said "If I find out you needed me and didn't call me, I'm going be so pi$$ed off at you!" And she meant it too! Yes there were nights she came to sit with me at 1am. Stuff like that. And I've gotten my share of phone calls from friends in need at odd hours too... and I'm grateful to be able to help.

    So no, BL, it is not selfish at all. I think God smiles when you take the lesson and show that you are grateful.


  7. rayboyjr:

    Happy Halloween

    ... hey Braddah Lance ... yeah, I've heard from some friends about the "bad news comes in three's" thing ... but maybe it's just a coincidence ... because one dose of bad news is more than enough to handle ...

    ... I've always felt we live in a special place here ... and that we've got more than our fair-share of compassionate people ... who genuinely care and look out for others as much as they do for themselves ... people like ... hmmm .... YOU!!! ...

    ... it's too bad that sometimes it takes tragic events ... to realize that no one is immune to the problems of the world ... and maybe we're just some of the lucky ones ... to be healthy and happy ...

    ... I admit to being one of those who takes life for granted ... and that I don't celebrate my good fortune every day of my life ... I do give thanks to God for my blessings ... well sometimes, but not often enough ...

    ... anyway, I hope you had a nice Halloween night with baby ... maybe she won't remember her first Halloween ... but I'm sure you took lots of pictures!!! ... btw, did she get dressed up??? ... I hope she wasn't one little kim chee bottle ... haha ... maybe a pumpkin??? ... or teddy bear??? ... or fairy or princess??? ...

    ... Have a Good One Everyone!!! ...


  8. sally:

    DANG! Too much FB. I looking for da LIKE button. hahaha! Happy Halloweenie all!


  9. Ocean Lover:

    Tragedy is life's reminder to APPRECIATE when things are going well in one's life. Don't EVER TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED.

    OL...............BL learning fast bout da cycle of LIFE


  10. hemajang:

    eh BL, sad when someone you know dies. End of life for the person but not for you and your memories of that person and perhaps you gain some insights into how to live your own life. Day by day, we travel that path, balancing reality and ideals, hopefully when your time comes, you can say, "I'm ready."

    "Comes in three's?..." Nah, ...goes in circle.


  11. jaydee:

    I remember 1987 as being one of the worst in my life. Within the span of 3 months I lost my dad, my mother-in-law then my grandmother. Comes in 3's? Well in '87 it did and I hope it never happens again!

    Enjoy life people.....it goes by so fast...


  12. B:

    pray and thank the lord each day.


  13. Ocean Lover:

    Coffee has kicked in......HOW is lil Drew doing? Hoping better.....

    OL............thinking bout the lil boy


  14. hawaiiobsessed:

    Sorry to hear about the passing of your friends. It isn't selfish at all to thank God for your family's safety and health and well being. I think all of us that hear of a tragedy have a moment of "but for the grace of God there go I!"
    My dad passed away in Jan this year of cancer. What a heartbreaking journey. God is good and even in the midst of the suffering and tears there are blessings. I thank God for our Ohana and the Ohana of my sister's friends. They helped, comforted, cried, cooked, prayed, supported all of us. God bless people ( like BL!) who reach out to others who are hurting.


  15. snow:

    awww... :( condolences to you and your friends. it's hard to hear about the passing of friends and loved ones and, though, coincidentally there are sometimes three that happen in a close time span, but there are often less or even more.

    i was recently having some car issues and i thought "bad things come in threes," so when the third thing happened, i thought it was over! "phew!" but then a fourth and a fifth thing happened... aisus! oh well, i was "hoping" that the saying was true... but... oh well! just gotta deal with it and move on! :? not saying, however, that it's an easy thing to do when you're talking about someone who has passed on. :(

    if something happens - no matter what it is - that makes us more grateful for what we have and are blessed with, i don't think that would ever be a bad thing. it wasn't like you didn't care about what happened - you did and you put yourself out there for your friends - it was just that it gave you a greater appreciation for your loved ones and the unpredictability of life.

    when someone isn't doing well, people often offer to help but don't know what to do. sometimes just knowing that someone is supporting them is enough. other times, maybe they need a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear. they might need a break from the norm (like an outing to the mall, if they are up to it) or a meal that they didn't have to take the time and energy to cook. friends are often as close as family and lots of families don't mind the extra help (make sure to check with the primary caregiver, if appropriate); however, if you're helping someone as a friend and feel like you might be imposing, ask. and, if you feel uncomfortable doing something, tell them... they'll understand.


  16. 808Dad:

    Hey Lance,
    Do not feel bad thanking God for keeping your Ohana safe. I do all the time. It’s also good to talk to Him about your friends and neighbors going thru so much pain. Ask Him to lay hands on them and let them know they can turn to our Lord for comfort.
    Stay safe, everyone.


  17. Makiki:

    Sorry to hear about all of the sad news. It's always difficult to know what to say or do and it never seems that whatever you say or do can be enough.

    Sorry I missed you on Sunday. I was there early for about an hour and listened (and looked) for you. I wish I could have stayed longer but I had dinner plans. The number of people and the donations for the raffles and silent auctions there to support Drew and his family were amazing. True Aloha!


  18. Braddah Lance:

    KAN:
    Treasures the ones you have while you can.

    Sometimes we just take dat for granted yeah?
    .
    .
    .

    islandgirlinnc:
    So honor your friends and neighbors and relatives by remembering what they brought to your life and how you can give that to your family.

    Well said.
    .
    .
    .

    M:
    Comes in three's? It did with our family.

    Wow! Sorry to hear.
    .
    .
    .

    Keoni:
    GLOW

    .
    .
    .

    sally:
    So it is only my POV when I say that I'd rather not see anyone suffering. I know I am being watched over in a way that would not have been possible otherwise.

    You also got to see anoddah side dat some people will nevah get to experience as well.

    Looking back it is interesting to see how people reacted. Or didn't know how to react. One friend in particular told me something that I now tell my other friends when they are in difficult situations. She said "If I find out you needed me and didn't call me, I'm going be so pi$$ed off at you!"

    Now das a friend. :grin:
    .
    .
    .

    rayboyjr:
    ... I do give thanks to God for my blessings ... well sometimes, but not often enough ...

    I tink das most of us as well.

    ... anyway, I hope you had a nice Halloween night with baby ... maybe she won't remember her first Halloween ... but I'm sure you took lots of pictures!!! ... btw, did she get dressed up??? ... I hope she wasn't one little kim chee bottle

    We went to Pearlridge since it was air conditioned and covered but it was a mad house. She got dressed up and I tried taking pictures but there were so many lighting differences most of the pics came out not so good. If you use other functions than just pressing the button, you know wat I mean.

    And no, she wasn't a kim chee bottle..... she wouldn't wear da lid.
    .
    .
    .

    sally:
    DANG! Too much FB. I looking for da LIKE button.

    Ai-goo. :roll:
    .
    .
    .

    Ocean Lover:
    OL...............BL learning fast bout da cycle of LIFE

    Were you watching The Lion King again? :razz:
    .
    .
    .

    hemajang:
    Day by day, we travel that path, balancing reality and ideals, hopefully when your time comes, you can say, "I'm ready."

    Well I really don't want to be saying dat wen it does happen.
    .
    .
    .

    jaydee:
    Comes in 3's? Well in '87 it did and I hope it never happens again!

    I hope it doesn't too! Boy, das rough.
    .
    .
    .

    B:
    pray and thank the lord each day.

    Amen.
    .
    .
    .

    Ocean Lover:
    ....HOW is lil Drew doing? Hoping better.....

    Getting bettah.
    .
    .
    .

    hawaiiobsessed:
    My dad passed away in Jan this year of cancer. What a heartbreaking journey. God is good and even in the midst of the suffering and tears there are blessings. I thank God for our Ohana and the Ohana of my sister's friends.

    Sorry to hear dat... and yes, there are many blessings out there - we just have to look.
    .
    .
    .

    snow:
    ...oh well, i was "hoping" that the saying was true... but... oh well! just gotta deal with it and move on!

    I know wat you mean. You can either dwell or get stronger.

    when someone isn't doing well, people often offer to help but don't know what to do.

    Rogah! I tink das da biggest question mark in tough situations.
    .
    .
    .

    808Dad:
    Ask Him to lay hands on them and let them know they can turn to our Lord for comfort.

    Strength in prayer right?
    .
    .
    .

    Makiki:
    It's always difficult to know what to say or do and it never seems that whatever you say or do can be enough.

    Dat about sums it up.

    Sorry I missed you on Sunday. I was there early for about an hour and listened (and looked) for you.

    AIGOO! I'm so sorry. We just missed each oddah! I was finishing up printing some shirts for da raffle so we got there a little later than I wanted. The bands were great! And yes, I reeeeeaaaaaallllly wanted to bid on the 49er helmet with Joe Montana's signature with "The Catch" play drawn on but $475 was a bit steep for me and a lot of kim chee to sell.

    And yes, there were TONS of people in support but I can only imagine how much others dat weren't able to make it.

    I'm so sorry again that we missed each other. We actually stayed till almost the very end but had to get back and relieve da babysitter.


  19. 9thIslandGirl:

    It's weird..I started reading your blog right after I had a
    bawl in my office because my husband called me at
    work to tell me that our friend from church had
    passed . I couldn't even finish reading.

    My best friend's father just passed away, and it's
    hard to know what to do to help. I was really
    grateful and relieved that she asked me to
    help at the service. I tried to be there for her, but
    I felt like I wasn't doing enough.

    Funny how previous life becomes when you have
    a child, huh, BL?


  20. 9thIslandGirl:

    Sorry, precious, not previous. Not getting into past
    life issues. :-)


  21. HNL2LAS:

    I'm so sorry BL... sigh... I feel ya, I don't want the third right now either...two of my uncles passed away recently and it sucks.. I never know what to say or do, but I hope my closest friends know that they can rely on me.

    'n I just have to say.. THANK YOU BL, I'm glad da blog is back.. I luv da Kwonics and Lanceformers!


  22. anklebiters:

    There are people in my life who are gone now - like my dad, who passed away this past July - people I miss very much. And I am haunted by them in different ways. Whether we're separated by death, or merely distance, I know they're still with me. Because I keep them in my heart. The truth is, in time that's all we'll be to each other anyway, a population of memories. Some wonderful and endearing. Some less so. But taken together, those memories help make us who we are and who we will be.


  23. HNL2LAS:

    Sigh... just found out the third one happened, my friend's dad who wasn't doing well passed away.. ugh.. this sucks!