Business Cards Or Post Its?
By Braddah Lance
A couple of blogs ago a Lurkah, sunny, had posted a comment dat made da light bulb glow in my coconut shell. Relax, it's a cool one.... and only one part.
S/he said,
BTW, I saw on a website the other night how someone carries a pad of post its that they write sassy remarks about crappy parking on it and stick it to the cars. Someone else has "business cards" that say "You suck at parking" that they leave on offending cars. Made me think of you.
*sniff sniff* Someone thought of me. *sniff sniff*
Seriously, I'm really considering dat and hopefully it'll open their eyes dat because of their sefish careless attitude, anoddah person was unable to do what they just did - park their vehicle.
So das wea Da WWD! Hui comes in. I know get some wise okole peeps and some very creative Kwonics, Lanceformers and Lurkahs so let's hea all your one, two or tree liners, your thoughts you want to say but no like say in person or for those wit class, a polite message to leave those inconsiderate bastards. 
Wat "love note" should I leave as a friendly reminder to these lovely drivers? Should da message be on a business card or Post-It?
Hea's some pics to get you in da mood. 
At dis First Hawaiian Bank lot, parking is a premium wit only like 15 stalls available and dis buggah took two of 'em!
Dis buggah not only made it difficult for da car on da right to get out but whoevah wanted to park on da left has to tink about possibly getting dinged up if da middle car doesn't reverse out properly
Geez, maybe da sun was too blinding to see da lines
And hea's da winnah........ ok, actually second place
C'mon man, YOU... ARE... IN... A... MINI... COOPER and you can't even park it in da lines? Wassup Wit Dat!
HEA'S DA WINNAH.... sent by email from a Lurkah. 
Mahalos!
Not one stall. Not two stalls for dis buggah. But THREE stalls AND hop da curb to do it!
Wassup Wit Dat!
November 19th, 2011 at 4:26 pm
"dis is one warning... next time you will be towed." da kwonic parkin police!
November 19th, 2011 at 7:18 pm
"Neva know 'spesho' pepo get laisense."
November 19th, 2011 at 7:20 pm
What makes it worse are the tiny spaces found all over the place in Hawai'i.
Need the regular sized stalls rather than the less-than-compact sizes.
November 19th, 2011 at 8:53 pm
harsh one... I once saw an old lady at the ala moana shopping center, super glue a note to the windshield of a parking hog (taking up 2 stalls)... of course this was during Xmas shopping time... she actually used the entire tube... hohohoho...
November 19th, 2011 at 9:37 pm
Had a customer a long time ago who ordered permanent stickers (clear plastic and card stock). Each sticker said things like, "Was your license a Blue Light Special? Learn to park!" "One stall per vehicle" "Get your eyes checked" "Did you color inside the lines?"
November 20th, 2011 at 6:10 am
Da police got your license numba and no move, da tow truck is on its way.
November 20th, 2011 at 6:38 am
Not sure if I had confessed in earlier post, but I no can park straight...but will go back in da car to realign if bad as I did last Thursday at work, was just like the 2nd photo but reversing into stall. At least I was not outside da lines. I don't know how drivers can reverse straight and use only rear view mirrors especially if don't have car in next stall to visually guide you. I have to open door and look back to be straight and centered in stall. So far, no "you suck at parking" stickers on my car.
Yesterday I was using my SIL Honda Element to bring one tv to son's condo and it has one of those chirping sensors if you backing up and stay close to one object. It was helpful so when parking backwards you can tell if stay too close to wall, although the chirping can get annoying after a while. I tink one of those rear view cameras would be better for me, even better would be a radar version that will give you measurements on exactly how far from object.
November 20th, 2011 at 7:35 am
wow, that last one was WWD!!!!!
November 20th, 2011 at 7:35 am
I mean last pic not last comment! :>)
November 20th, 2011 at 8:25 am
"Your LICENSE PLATE is recorded. NEXT TIME YOU'RE TOWED"
Now the WWD kine:
"Eh, you BLIND OR WHAT? Park IN the stall"
"What? ONE STALL not good enough for you and gotta take TWO?"
"Guess you're SKINNY and not FAT LIKE MY WIFE? HOW she going get in da car you park so friggin close?"
"NO....its NOT all about you. STAY WITHIN THE LINES!"
November 20th, 2011 at 8:47 am
What you tink dey make lines fo?
November 20th, 2011 at 8:48 am
I let you go dis time, but da next time, my keys will do da talking.
November 20th, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Whichever line we choose, may I make a suggestion? Post Its are expensive. Order business cards from vistaprint.com, they're FREE! okay, so you pay a little S/H, still cheaper than Post Its AND it looks more official.
November 20th, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Bottom line is: If you a) no can b) scade to c) suck at parking, den no buy one BIG HONKIN' VEHICLE! And if you no can even park one Mini then go buy one bus pass!
November 20th, 2011 at 6:08 pm
BL,
Save your money. Anyone that doesn't care about their lousy parking isn't going to give a damn about a note from an anonymous person. Sometime I think it's just a person with lousy parking skills and other times I think it's a jackass trying to protect his/her "beautiful" car. I'm at a loss trying to rationalize the truck taking up 4 stalls and part of the divider. Drunk driver maybe?
November 20th, 2011 at 8:19 pm
And while we are at it, what about the people that litter from their cars? I once saw a lady throw out a candy wrapper while parked, then went in to Safeway (probably to buy more candy, to feed her Fat A$$) I picked it up and placed it under her windshield wiper. Oh yes i did!
November 21st, 2011 at 7:15 am
While I'm sure we have all wanted to do what this attorney did to badly parked cars, it's not worth it.
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Lot-o-rage-Seattle-attorney-charged-with-1404872.php
Notes are one thing - keying the car is another.
November 21st, 2011 at 7:30 am
Hema--try put the small round convex mirrors on your outside mirrors. Makes it easy to see the lines when you back in, at least during daytime.
November 21st, 2011 at 7:44 am
How many are double checking on how they are parked now? I know I have caught myself looking back at how I parked while thinking about these posts!
November 21st, 2011 at 8:25 am
Back in the 70's someone gave me a card (no, I didn't find it on my windshield) that read;
Thanks for parking so damn close. Next time leave a can opener so I can get in my car. Stupid a$$holes like you should ride the bus.
November 21st, 2011 at 11:05 am
wassup... wit your parking?!? get lines, you know!
i guess you neva pass kindergarten... 'cause you don't know how stay within the lines.
November 21st, 2011 at 1:42 pm
@z6x, I'll look into the convex mirror for my straightness problem, tanks.
November 21st, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Here's a site with amusing notes left on the wayward parker's windshield:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/20/the-funniest-notes-to-bad_n_786403.html#s187300&title=Republican_Or_Just
November 21st, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Who taught you to park? Stevie Wonder?
November 21st, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Go see a mechanic, your steering if a bit off....
November 21st, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I think the driver of that last picture had to do #1 or maybee #2 really bad
Looks like he has a carrier for a motorized wheelchair attached to the rear bumper. 
November 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 am
BL, you want us to email you more inconsiderate parking pictures?
November 24th, 2011 at 9:09 am
Ha ha ha!
Excellent suggestions! Although, I gotta say keying someone else's ride is pretty uncool and I'd nevah do something li'dat.
Interesting mo'olelo KAN and funny stuff anklebiters!
November 24th, 2011 at 9:10 am
Oh yeah, rogah dat zzzzzz, if you got da pics send 'em on ovah!