By Braddah Lance
Now with Da Baby in our lives and her first "real" Christmas (she was only three months in Christmas 2010), Da Wife and I went out and got a Christmas tree - something we haven't done in a few years.
There's something about a Christmas tree's smell that makes everything about Christmas seem right. It's one of those smell by association kine things I suppose but take a whiff of those oily pines and for some reason all is good in da world.
When you think about it, having a Christmas tree is hard work - you actually have to earn it... and it takes time. If you've been to a tree lot - not a tree farm - you first have to spock out da area. Da very first thing is to find out wat kine tree you want, noble or douglas fir, flocking or not, colored or not - I'm unsure there are others but das all I know. And plastic (fake) is fine, but wat's da fun in dat?
Then you gotta find out how big (tall) you like 'em. You bettah know your ceiling height cause it would suck if you brought it home and da buggah no fit. And it would really suck if there wasn't any trunk left to trim.
Then comes da "selection" process. If you've been to da lot wen da shipment just came in you know wat I'm talking about. In da first row or two there are open trees and anything beyond that they are still wrapped in twine to conserve space. Dis is how I see it. If you're at da lot and there are trees open, it's obvious dat it must not be "da one" to have been left on da floor.
Da Wife and I went through a handful of open trees by grabbing 'em, spinning 'em around and jus' trying to get a vibe for it. Some were "empty" looking, some were crooked, some were too narrow and some were just not to our liking.
A word of advice, if you do go and plan on handling the trees, bring a pair of disposable gloves so that you don't get sap and oil all over your hands and possibly a t-shirt you know you can get dirty.
Aftah picking an area wit da "height" we wanted, I started digging into da rows and undoing some twine. A workah joined in eventually and held one up.
A'ole. Next. A'ole. Next.
Then Da Wife spocked one a couple more rows back and aftah holding it out open for us to look at, it didn't take more than a second for both of us say, "Winnahs!"... jus' like a wedding dress so I hear. When you know, you know.
All dat work was just to pick one out.
And to keep da mo'olelo short, we brought it home measured a little more and trimmed da trunk to da height we wanted. Then put da tree in, make 'em straight, put watah, put plant food, look at da tree, look at da tree.... huh? How come get puka?
Wassup Wit Dat!
Ok, ok. It wasn't a puka but it was a bare looking area so now we had to turn da tree, look at da tree, turn a little more.... perfect.
It was a full, green, straight, healthy looking tree.... and we didn't even start decorating it.
Once we got our shatter proof ornaments and led lights up high enough so Da Baby can't tug at it, dis is wat it looked like.
Da Wife, Da Baby and I have our "personalized" ornament and now dat we're an ohana, we're going to get one every year to add to da tree.
Do you have a fond memory of your Christmas tree? Do you get a real tree or a fake one? Is your tree filled with ornaments? Does it change every year or do keep using da same ones? Do you string up popcorn? Do you have a tradition with the tree? Send me your Christmas tree pic (keep faces out if you don't want 'em posted) and you get to choose your present of either a free custom t-shirt designed by me or kim chee made by me.
And just like everything else in life, da clean up sucks. Pines smelling sour and falling left and right all the while pulling your ornaments off wondering why da heck they aren't fitting back into box properly..... wasn't it worth it?