It's Like Picking A Wedding Dress
By Braddah Lance
Now with Da Baby in our lives and her first "real" Christmas (she was only three months in Christmas 2010), Da Wife and I went out and got a Christmas tree - something we haven't done in a few years.
There's something about a Christmas tree's smell that makes everything about Christmas seem right. It's one of those smell by association kine things I suppose but take a whiff of those oily pines and for some reason all is good in da world.
When you think about it, having a Christmas tree is hard work - you actually have to earn it... and it takes time. If you've been to a tree lot - not a tree farm - you first have to spock out da area. Da very first thing is to find out wat kine tree you want, noble or douglas fir, flocking or not, colored or not - I'm unsure there are others but das all I know. And plastic (fake) is fine, but wat's da fun in dat? 
Then you gotta find out how big (tall) you like 'em. You bettah know your ceiling height cause it would suck if you brought it home and da buggah no fit. And it would really suck if there wasn't any trunk left to trim.
Then comes da "selection" process. If you've been to da lot wen da shipment just came in you know wat I'm talking about. In da first row or two there are open trees and anything beyond that they are still wrapped in twine to conserve space. Dis is how I see it. If you're at da lot and there are trees open, it's obvious dat it must not be "da one" to have been left on da floor.
Da Wife and I went through a handful of open trees by grabbing 'em, spinning 'em around and jus' trying to get a vibe for it. Some were "empty" looking, some were crooked, some were too narrow and some were just not to our liking.
A word of advice, if you do go and plan on handling the trees, bring a pair of disposable gloves so that you don't get sap and oil all over your hands and possibly a t-shirt you know you can get dirty.
Aftah picking an area wit da "height" we wanted, I started digging into da rows and undoing some twine. A workah joined in eventually and held one up.
A'ole. Next. A'ole. Next.
Then Da Wife spocked one a couple more rows back and aftah holding it out open for us to look at, it didn't take more than a second for both of us say, "Winnahs!"... jus' like a wedding dress so I hear. When you know, you know.
All dat work was just to pick one out.
And to keep da mo'olelo short, we brought it home measured a little more and trimmed da trunk to da height we wanted. Then put da tree in, make 'em straight, put watah, put plant food, look at da tree, look at da tree.... huh? How come get puka?
Wassup Wit Dat!
Ok, ok. It wasn't a puka but it was a bare looking area so now we had to turn da tree, look at da tree, turn a little more.... perfect.
It was a full, green, straight, healthy looking tree.... and we didn't even start decorating it.
Once we got our shatter proof ornaments and led lights up high enough so Da Baby can't tug at it, dis is wat it looked like.
Da Wife, Da Baby and I have our "personalized" ornament and now dat we're an ohana, we're going to get one every year to add to da tree.
Do you have a fond memory of your Christmas tree? Do you get a real tree or a fake one? Is your tree filled with ornaments? Does it change every year or do keep using da same ones? Do you string up popcorn? Do you have a tradition with the tree? Send me your Christmas tree pic (keep faces out if you don't want 'em posted) and you get to choose your present of either a free custom t-shirt designed by me or kim chee made by me. 
And just like everything else in life, da clean up sucks. Pines smelling sour and falling left and right all the while pulling your ornaments off wondering why da heck they aren't fitting back into box properly..... wasn't it worth it?
Wassup Wit Dat!
November 30th, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Das one big tree! What, almost 8 feet?
We got one Grand Fir this year. Usually get the Douglas cause get more "smell" but last year we brought our tree home and all the needles started falling off two days later. Brought it back (Several people did) and got one Noble Fir. The Douglas get the most smell but the other two get strong needles.
Tried drilling holes up the trunk and stuffing cotton in the holes. Will let you know how it worked out.
K. Time fo sleep.
Wish I had a pickup truck for hauling the tree home. So much trouble trying the bugga on the roof.
Not decorated yet so no mo picha yet. The wife bought new ornaments this year.
How much dat one when set you back? Ours was $28 at the NEX. Thanks to my MIL for hooking us up!
November 30th, 2011 at 10:01 pm
How come my sentences came out hemajang?
November 30th, 2011 at 10:01 pm
Eh, BL, it's been many, many years since I've had a tree, live or oddahwise, but it just doesn't say Christmas if da tree no got tinsel (silvah, please!) on it. But I do love da personal ornaments you picked out (oh da cute)!
December 1st, 2011 at 2:54 am
Morning
We have a real one... gotta have one, it's da smell that gets me into the mood.
We bought it, up it up and decorated the day after Thanksgiving.
December 1st, 2011 at 5:39 am
Yeah, we got our tree da otda day from walmart. Wife was getting ansty and bugging me fo get one befo no mo. We get one every year since married, wat dat, 38 years? Was cheap dis year, $29 for noble fir, maybe 6-7 feet. BL, good thing you get truck, humbug to tie down on roof rack, plus car get full of needles and sap.
@CW, think drilling holes and cotton will help tree stay green? Yeah, walmart doesn't cut end of trunk anymore so had to use my handsaw fo cut. Buggah was like dry hard wood, don't remember trunk being dis dry...hope tree no turn brown afta one week.
December 1st, 2011 at 5:42 am
Wen I was growing up, we use to put 1 bayer (asprin) in the water each day.
Dunno if that worked or not but I still do it to this day.
December 1st, 2011 at 6:18 am
Howzit BL!
Dats one nice tree! We just da opposite, nevah buy one for awhile, the kids big now but I miss da smell of da tree. We get one 4 foot fake tree now and I doe no if I going even put it up dis ye ah. Wit me it's all about da tree lights, I like put choke lights even on the 4 foot tree. I tink I string up about 500 lights and dat tree glows in da dark.
December 1st, 2011 at 7:08 am
Sup BL. Us guys get one fake one we got about 5 years ago fo one unreal deal aftah Christmas. Had one small kine lighting incident last year with the pre-lit lights so I took em off and now string lights like one regulah tree, but before dat was so easy, set um up, plug um in, and put all da stuffs on em.
We get one wreath and one thing for da table with "fresh" branches fo keep da same Christmas smell in da house.
December 1st, 2011 at 7:53 am
I have not had a tree in years.
My fondest memory is my Brother walking into our fully decorated tree and it falling over.
I also remember our cats running up the middle of the tree one year.
December 1st, 2011 at 7:53 am
Nice tree!
It's been quite a few years since we have had a real tree. We alternate between IL and Hawaii for Christmas and have fake trees in both places but only decorate where we will be for the holidays. I miss all of the handmade ornaments from the kids hanabatta days when we are in HI but somehow being in Hawaii makes up for it. Our IL tree always looks the same and we even have a picture that we look at to try to make it the same. In addition to some pretty old family ornaments we have popcorn that my wife and I strung with her grandmother before we were married over 30 years ago!
When we used to shop for real trees the big thing was the weather and having to look at trees that were frozen or covered in snow - so sap and a dirty t-shirt wasn't an issue! There used to be dozens of lots (we used to visit most before selecting) witin driving distance and they had hundreds of open trees lined up on racks the day after Thanksgiving. Most of the lots were run by scary guys from "up north" that would come down for the season to make a good cash score.
We had more than our share of real tree moments over the years including the time I decided that I could cut a nice 8' tree out of a 12' tree or the tree that ended up bending 30 degrees after thawing out in the heated garage. We also had one that became heavy on one side after it was decorated and fell over while we were sleeping - that was before the nice plastic stands that they have now.
Good memories - Thanks BL! BTW - can we get more info on your t-shirts? Are you selling them somewhere?
December 1st, 2011 at 8:25 am
Many years ago when we adopted our son, we went out to X-mas tree farm and trudged through the grounds looking for an ideal tree like our host did. This is in Indiana, so its very cold for an islander in the middle of December 1965. The experience is etched is in our memory forever, just like it happened only yesterday. We brought our own small little saw and had to hew it, then drag it all the way back to entrance area and pay the owner of the farm. The ground had already had some light snow on and not quite frozen, sort of like a little mushy, because of all the foot traffic. Richard had his little boots on and it was getting a little muddy like, yikes. Even back then, the price was steep at $5, but the experience to harvest your own tree was worth every penny. I take that experience over the trimming part, cuz the liitle lady and son did that chore. Notice I said chore, where as the harvesting was a joy. Did that for another 2 years, then moved to Chicago, so that ended tree harvesting for us.
December 1st, 2011 at 8:45 am
... hey Braddah Lance ... is it safe to say Merry Christmas now??? ... I think so yeah ... and you put your tree up already ... nice!!! ...
... growing up, fake trees were frowned upon ... even if all you could get was a "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree, that was still better than a fake one ... I think half the excitement was shopping for the tree ... and decorating it was the other half ... because once the tree was up, all we cared about was the presents!!! ... sad huh, that's how we were as kids ... but as adults now, the present don't matter so much ...
... my fondest memories of the Christmas tree was the chilly mornings in December ... when I would be snuggled comfortably in my bed ... and the cold tip of my nose was peeking out through my blankets ... and the first thing I noticed when I woke up ... was the awesome scent of the Christmas tree!!! ... yeah, it was Christmas time baybee!!! ... and it was a great way to kickstart every morning!!! ...
... Have a Good One Everyone!!! ...
December 1st, 2011 at 9:43 am
Hey BL, where'd you get those Chinese zodiac ornaments? So cute!
Growing up, we'd always have a tree every year, and you're right, it's totally the smell that makes it feel like Christmas! Can't get a real tree anymore, though, because the husband has allergies
A fake one is just not the same, so this year we're just getting a wreath to hang outside our front door.
December 1st, 2011 at 10:14 am
we haven't bought our christmas tree yet... but now that you've reminded me, i think we gotta go out and do that! we love real trees... we've never had a fake one. one year, we didn't get our christmas tree early and ended up going from lot to lot, to no avail. we turned our radio to kssk and the posse said that there were trees at waianae store... so we immediately drove out to waianae to get our tree! we just took whatever the guy brought out of the container and it happened to be one of the nicest trees we ever had! perfectly shaped! we also bought one for my sister and that was also a very nice tree!
my fondest christmas tree memories were of when we were still living in california. one of my favorite uncles used to work at a nursery so he would buy our tree for us every year... we would go down to the nursery and could buy whatever tree we wanted! of course, my mom and dad preferred the plain douglas fir instead of the flocked ones (i loved those, so pretty!)... but one year, they relented and let me choose a flocked tree! it was so pretty... until the flocking started to fall off! lol. it was back to douglas firs after that!
December 1st, 2011 at 11:48 am
No do the tree no mo. Das mean no t-shirt or kim chee right?
But keed time no could afford to buy tree. Used to grow Norfolk pine and cut em down when we needed one. I learned no cut BELOW the last row of leaves cause not going grow back.
Or we used to go along the gulch and find one pine tree. That one had little bit smell.
I remember the fake aluminum tree we had. Used da color wheel to shine lights on da tree. Now I showing my age
December 1st, 2011 at 1:12 pm
nice your tree! christmas is da bestest wen get keiki all ova. dis year we wen get da fake charlie brown tree...cute da buggah... only like 2 ft. tall wit one red bulb...even get da music...
years back i was makin all macho an wen get one tall tree an guess wat? no fit...too tall. by da time we wen cut off da bottom...had almost nuff fo a anudda tree...i tellin you...
December 1st, 2011 at 4:09 pm
According to my niece the fake tree is at Nana's, her homemade tree (really cute!) is at home, and I have to have the real tree. This year they are visiting so we are going tree hunting in a couple of weeks. I need to dig out my ornaments and see if my lights work, too!
I agree, though. The smell helps to make the season! Almost makes the darn pine needles worth it. Well, kinda, sorta, maybe. HA!
December 1st, 2011 at 4:10 pm
And, that is an awesome looking tree!
December 1st, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Almost... about 7' 1/2" but it probably was 8' before I trimmed da bottom and top.
It's da choice for da ages.
Really? Nevah heard of dat before - wat does it do?
Das one thing good about a truck.
Way to go MIL! Ours was $30 at Daiei and got da "fresh" batch to choose from.
Looks fine to me.
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Tinsel! Totally forgot about dat. In fact, I don't see it too often anywea anymo'.... wwd!?
I can't take any credit for dat.
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Rogah dat.
We usually wait awhile but thought it might be sparse if we waited.
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WOW! Nice.... wait, dat means 38 years of nagging.
Yeah, I wondah how come was really affordable dis yea.
I hoping it just last till Christmas. *crossing fingahs AND praying*
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I heard about dat too and I used to do dat as well but we no carry asprin in da hale anymo' so we just buy da plant preserve. Was pretty cheap, $1.99 for one big bottle.
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Mahalos!
You surah you not setting up a beacon for ET? ha ha ha. Actually me too, I like da lights on da tree. Usually we get white lights but since gotta stimulate Da Baby we wen pick up colored lights dis yea.
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Howzit 2B! Hope you and your ohana are having a great holiday season.
I tink das wat a lot of people do as well. I tink there's even scented oils dat smell like a Christmas tree dat you can sprinkle too.
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Not even da minature kine?
Dat must have been hilarious! Well unless he fell on your presents as well.
Did you call HFD?
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Mahalos!
I miss all of the handmade ornaments from the kids hanabatta daysI wondah if schools still have arts and crafts li'dat now....
In addition to some pretty old family ornaments we have popcorn that my wife and I strung with her grandmother before we were married over 30 years ago!Really?! Da same popcorn? WOW!
Now dat sounds very interesting and fun!
Ha ha ha! Sounds like some great memories!
For now until I get a little more handle on things I just give 'em out wen I can but only plan on selling/giving them privately rather than distribution-wise. If you're interested, let me know and no worries, I take kea of you.
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Mahalos for sharing dat! Das exactly how I imagined it and it really must have been a great ohana experience! Wow.
December 1st, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Nice, da tree! And nice, da decorations!
We usually buy a tiny tree (3-4 feet) and put on top one our small tables. No mo nuff room, our place. We buy from a lot run by Boy Scouts where da proceeds go to a local help line.
December 1st, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Kage, how da HECK did your brother walk into the tree? Was he sleepwalking? M'lepo? How old was he?
December 1st, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Eh Lancelot, your hardwood floors caught my eye. Is that real maple wood or the engineered kind? Your tree looks like mine one. Bought ours at City Mill for $29.99. I know it wasn't noble fir because that one was a little more. What can I say except Pakes are cheap!
December 1st, 2011 at 7:32 pm
We've always had live trees, either store bought or self-cut up north. I put up an artificial one last year....looked like a Charlie Brown xmas tree (that's what happens when you buy it at the after Xmas sales when things are like 50%+ off
) says my daughter. This year she gave me her artificial one as she felt sorry for me.....it's sitting in the garage at the moment, I'll have to put it together tomorrow.
December 1st, 2011 at 7:34 pm
BL, nice tree......not three ..
They've come out with LED xmas lights recently...anyone have them on their tree 
Nice 
December 1st, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Kage:
Is your family related to the Griswalds
December 1st, 2011 at 8:15 pm
We always get a real tree, since my daughter was born.
I love the christmas tree smell. When we decorate the
tree, I put on all the christmas CDs so we can get in
the spirit. Like you, BL, we used to get two new
ornaments a year. My grandpa said, ” Kinda bare,
ah, your tree?” in the early years.
I always feel sad when we have to take the tree down.
It used to help when they had recycling here.
Feeling more in the christmas spirit now!
December 2nd, 2011 at 3:54 am
Okay, went grocery shopping yesterday and walked past the Christmas trees. The price for a 8+ foot Noble fir was crazy! We are nearly surrounded by gobs of Christmas tree farms -- are they free-range trees? Anyhow, at $9.99 I thought it was outrageous! Cut fresh every day. If Matson had lower shipping prices I might consider shipping some over. I wonder how much UPS or FedEx charges to ship trees? HA!
December 2nd, 2011 at 6:08 am
Howzit BL and guud morning!
Happy Aloha Friday!
December 2nd, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Rogah dat.
Did you giggle too?
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At da craft fairs. During Christmas time we must go to like a dozen or so of 'em and buy choke gifts from LOCAL vendors.
Kinda funny though, da Tiger we bought for Da Baby was from a tall haole guy wit a Japanee wife both wearing kanji shirts.
Das too bad about da allergies. At least you get to get a whiff everytime you leave home and come back.
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Dat happened to us once wea picking were scarce. Just trying to get one dat'll last till Christmas morning yeah? Cause aftah dat no one like 'em in da hale anymore.
Did you evah get colored flocking? btw, how da heck does it still stay on if you got 'em straped on da roof of a car?
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You snooze you lose.
Is dat true for any tree?
You surah was da right smell?
Aluminum? Heh?
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True dat.
A fake Charlie Brown tree? Ha ha ha. Only one red bulb?
lol
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I hope so.
In da beginning yeah, at da end no.
Mahalos!
December 3rd, 2011 at 6:40 am
Am I late to this party?
Nice, yo' tree! I haven't had a real tree in about 10yrs since my old cubbyhole apt couldn't even fit decorations. All my decorations (and I've amassed a small fortune in them) got put up in my office so I still could enjoy and share them with our patients.
This year is exciting cuz my new apt is bigger and I can set up some Christmas stuff. No can have tree, tho', it does something to my nose to have a tree in the house. : (
I get my smell fix when I pass the trees at the stores. lol I get small fake tree in da apt now, I'm just happy I can even have that.
December 3rd, 2011 at 6:41 am
@Ynaku: Aluminum tree w/ color wheel! Ho, 'das MLC!!! Was so rad back then eh?
December 3rd, 2011 at 6:45 am
We never could afford to have those sheared, fancy trees so my memories of Christmas is of those sparse, Charlie Brown type trees. To this day, it's the one that says Christmas for me.
December 3rd, 2011 at 7:38 am
We always get one real tree. Need da smell. Plus, with da real kine, it lasts all year for us, even if we take it down in January. (No matta how good I think I clean I still find needles all ova the hale all year round! Da needles get feet or what? I always wonda how the needles end up in all different places.)
Every year I think I like make da tree fancy (decorate em with a theme like at the stores) but we end up letting da kids do em, and da tree end up all hemajang. Good thing da kids getting olda cuz now at least the ornaments starting to go higher on the tree. Was little bit mento looking when the kids was real short and da ornaments was only on da bottom of da tree. And no look our tree from da sides or da back. They only do em from da front.
December 4th, 2011 at 3:14 am
Good for you guys!
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It's laminate. Took me a couple of days to do da entire living room & kitchen areas.
Hey, if it's a good tree it's au' good.
I'm actually kinda surprised dat da douglas fir's were priced da way they are priced at some stores.
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Da question is.... will it still stay in da garage?
We got 'em on ours as well as having LED's on our exterior. Kinda pricey if you ask me but da savings in electric is supposed to balance it out so I'm told.
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We didn't do dat dis year.
Da Baby's attention span was all ovah da place so we had PBS on so she was watching da tv then watching da tree then running around............
Yeah, it's gonna be li'dat for us too for a few years.
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Are you serious? $9.99? I tink places selling Nobles hea are $80+ minimum.
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Howzit!
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Hawaiian time - nevah late.
Second hand smell?
Rad?
Cool.
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Ha ha ha! You evah vaccuum or wat?
Classic! Must have been memorable trees to look at every year.