GOOOOOOOD Morning!

July 19th, 2012
By

WARNING: If you no can handle graphic details... no read 'den.

Aftah parking da bike dis morning, I make my way out of da garage towards my building. As I exit, da garage walkway "merges" to da buildings own walkway to a form a singular path. An "older" wahine was approaching towards me from da building, I slow up to let her "pass" (as you read further, full-on pun intended). I fall behind about seven feet so as not to intrude on her personal bubble space.

Da walk to my building is only about 20 seconds away and not halfway there I hea,

BBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAATTTATATATATTT!!!!

HEH? Did da wahine just.................... FUT?

Wassup Wit Dat!

It wasn't da kine sonic boom kine or da little "oops" kine. It was da nasty, okole cheeks stuck together, moist, flappy, rolling thunda, check yo' BVD's kine fut! And I was right behind to hear/smell it all!

Ugh.

I immediately held my breath and she kept walking for a few seconds then turned around and said, "Good morning".

Double Wassup Wit Dat!

We entered the building shortly aftah and like nothing happened, she went along her merry way.

I couldn't believe it, you just can't make dis kine stuff up. But then again, if it wasn't for moments li'dat, WWD! wouldn't exist now would it? :razz:

Hope your day goes on......... fut free. :lol:









Posted in WWD! | 39 Comments »

39 Responses to “GOOOOOOOD Morning!”

  1. sally:

    Had to scroll back up and make sure OceanLover wasn't guest blogging.


  2. rayboyjr:

    :cool: Good Stinky Morning Everyone!!! :cool:

    ... hey Braddah Lance ... at least that's a funny, albeit stinky, WWD moment ... I've been victim to those moments ... but usually by elderly men who no kea ... they just let her rip anytime anyplace ...

    ... but yeah, by one wahine??? ... haha ... wassap wit dat ... supposed to show a little more class and grace than us disgusting guys ...

    ... at least you had warning!!! ... and held your breath ... but did you also walk around the fut odor cloud ... I hope so ... because when someone futs ... the fut cloud expands to a radius of about 5 feet due to expansion of the warm air exiting the body ... and so you need to veer at least 5 feet to the left or right of the person to avoid the noxious odor molecules smacking you in the face ...

    ... haha, I just made that up ... but I do that anyway ...

    ... Have a Good Odor Free One Everyone!!! ...


  3. sally:

    Here's what I was thinking while reading:
    omg
    omg
    OMG
    NOOOO WAYYYYYY!
    Poor BL.

    On the bright side, your day can only get better from here on.


  4. Paco:

    bwaaaahhhhhh...this is hilarious! What a great story to start the day with!


  5. Paco:

    I love fart jokes and fart stories!


  6. Ocean Lover:

    Okay........now let me get this straight. She did a "BLATTTTT OTTOT!" and THEN a delayed "Good Morning!" to you?

    Perhaps you shoulda answered her similarly....you know, "times be a changing" and all. ;-)

    OL.......smiled at BL's "morning thunder" story


  7. wafan:

    Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

    Must have been so good she wanted to share with you. Or it was so bad she did not want to keep it. Just have to watch out for the vapor trail.


  8. Lowtone123:

    She wen go check herself fo da skidz or maybe da meat wen come out, LOL! Anyway wuz kinda weird fo her to say good morning like das what you needed first ting in da morning.


  9. Masako:

    Geez Braddah Lance, these kine things only happen to you! LOL She should have just let you go first. Funny that she turned around to say Good Morning when she should have said excuse me.
    A few weeks ago I was in a crowded elevator, were talking sardines, boobs to back squished kine in Tokyo. I was thinking good thing no one is gassy cause it would be a hazmat disaster if someone farted. Thinking about it made me crack up and everyone thought I was crazy....good thing was in Japan cause I never going see those people again.


  10. Masako:

    @Rayboy jr - you had me going for a bit, I thought you was one fut expert or something.


  11. snow:

    just so you know, when people get older, they may lose some of their muscle control. ;) perhaps it wasn't intentional (she was walking, after all)... so... uhhh... on the bright side, at least she was pleasant????? :mrgreen:


  12. M:

    hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!


  13. M:

    Masako likes to talk about fut....


  14. cojef:

    Braddah Lance, it's hilarious! "Oceanlover"s" retort is good also. "Sonic boom kine" slays me nokiddng. On the udda side of the coin, you say she is kinda ole like so, "snow" says she lose muscle control of okole. Makule people have this problem, so when visiting retirement home, "be prepared", like boy scout motto. Fut here fut there, every fut, fut, like a fut competition, with grand champion, oops, running to lavatory for quick clean-up job. One of the best blogs. Never laughed so hard and long.


  15. 2B:

    Ho BL maybe she was trying to sound like your bike.....Oh wait you no mo one Harley with pipes.

    Oh yah and...

    Kaboose!!!


  16. DIO:

    Oh man, where to start with this one.

    I ass-ume you don't know this wahine, so you might not run into each other again.

    Anyway, maybe she was announcing to the world that BL was coming, BL was coming. You know in other areas, you have to have a way to announce the arrival of others, like when the King and Queen arrive. In some places, they blow trumpets to announce the arrival of the person. In the Navy, when some high ranking officer arrives they blow a bosun's whistle. This wahine obviously wasn't carrying a trumpet, whistle, or a conch shell, so she had to make doo in this situation. She was just letting folks know that you were arriving. That's why she said "Good morning," instead of "excuse me" after the horn blast. It wouldn't make sense to announce the King's arrival, then turn to the King and say, "excuse me."

    Oh by the way, given this latest adventure in your life, I'm thinking I should start up a fund to collect money to buy you a hidden camera system, complete with sound. Each adventure can then be posted on Youtube for all of us to enjoy. :lol:


  17. M:

    Here's my fut story, I was waiting for the elevator and when the doors openned there was about 4 people inside and the aroma of fut came out of the elevator. Nobody came out and I wasn't about to go in, I almost couldn't hold back laughing.


  18. dihudfan:

    lucky you no smoke... lighting up at that moment... shinge...


  19. SASSY7:

    ayshoossss!! Poor thing you Bradda Lance...and how she just going say good morning..like you needed another ALARM!! you up already....miss you....still lurking....thanks making me laugh today!!!


  20. B:

    haha...at least good morning was passed on too!


  21. Ynaku:

    Bwahahahahaha

    Mo better feel da shame then to feel da pain. Let it loose :mrgreen:


  22. Masako:

    Here's a funny fut story. My girlfriend and I was in Jc Penny's and had to go bathroom. We go inside than I hear booooooot....assuming it was her, I bust out laughing. It turns out she assumed it was me and bust out laughing too. Once we realized what happened we laughed even more.


  23. Masako:

    I had a friend who used to turn the Liberty house bathroom light off.


  24. Masako:

    Opps sorry wrong blog.....Uncle Rod's blog just had one post about pranks and farts....


  25. Kage:

    Bwahahahahaha.
    I needed that laugh today. Thank you.

    Maybe she is hard of hearing and did not know it was that loud. :)

    I heard this on the radio. People were asked to tell their most embarrassing moments. One lady calls and tells about the time she was on the treadmill at the gym, rocking to her iPod. She timed her farts to the loud parts of the music. Then realized that only she could hear the music... haahahaha. Everyone else heard her farts, loud and clear.


  26. atilter:

    RODGLMFAO!!! heroism beyond belief in the line of fire! you gotta be one huge phart smeller - oooops - smart feller! maybe you gotta work out more - your back peddle foot work not too good!


  27. Coconut Willy:

    Sounds like one of your April Fools stories. But dis not April!


  28. jaydee:

    At the hospital where I work, we see/hear/smell this happening all the time. Our hospital caters to the retirement community right across the street. One time one of the PT's was walking his patient down the halls when the elderly gentleman let go of a "shart", the messy kine fart. It got all over my friends shoes and of course he couldn't complain much in front of the patient. I think he ended up throwing away those shoes.

    Is this what we have to look forward to after our MLC years?!! Yikes!


  29. M:

    Howzit BL!
    Happy FGF!


  30. cojef:

    Your story was so good, copy/pasted by email to my Hawaiian friends living stateside. Sure they will get a charge from it. Still giggling and smiling, even now. You made my day for 2 days now. Thanks braddah Lance.


  31. Masako:

    Once when I came out of anesthesia the nurse showed me a checklist of things that had to happen before I could leave the recovery room....one of the things listed was flatuence,


  32. M:

    Fut sounds a lot better than flatuence. :lol:


  33. Scott:

    That sounds like something my aging and uncouth mother would do....

    Hope the trades were blowing BL :)


  34. DIO:

    I don't know if there were tradewinds or Kona winds, but there was definitely a "morning breeze" :lol:


  35. DIO:

    M: FGF? Fut Good Friday? Feel Good Futs? Nah! Happy FGF!!


  36. 9thIslandGirl:

    Hahaha!!! Only you! I agree: at least she was pleasant! :-)

    I also agree that the muscles get loose when you get old. ;-)


  37. DIO:

    So, since the muscles "get loose" when you get old, is there a workout you can do to tighten them up? :lol:


  38. Shoyu burner:

    This will be the new "renewable" energy hawaii needs! Jus eat a lot kalua n cabbage and daikon kim chee..and let let it all out...


  39. DIO:

    That would give new meaning to "shoyu burner" :lol: