By Braddah Lance
It's been awhile since we had a Feel Good Friday (FGF) post and I just felt like a laugh today.
I hope you do too.
And before you get your puka underwear in a bunch - for those who no can understand "Hawai'i" jokes - we are a melting pot of ethnicities so naturally we have choke jokes about all kines of races and if you get huhu about dat kine.... no read 'den!
But I - we all - have to admit dat da Po-tagee gets da brunt of da punchlines.
So to try and be politically correct in dis world, I pulled some jokes from all kines courtesy of "e-hawaii.com/jokes".
Enjoy, laugh hard and have a grrrrreeeeeat Feel Good Friday WWD! Hui!
A Hawaiian, a Japanese and a Portuguese were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a Waikiki building.
One day as they were eating lunch, the Hawaiian said, “Fish and Poi! If I get Fish and poi one more time for lunch I’m going to jump off this building.”
The Japanese opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Sushi again! If I get sushi one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”
The Portuguese opened his lunch and said, “Portuguese sausage and rice again. If I get a Portuguese sausage and rice one more time I’m jumping off also!”
Next day the Hawaiian opens his lunchbox, sees the fish and poi and jumps to this death. The Japanese opens his lunch, sees sushi and jumps too. The Portuguese opens his lunch, sees the Portuguese Sausage and rice and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral, the Hawaiian man’s wife is weeping. She says, “If I’d known how really tired he was of fish and poi I never would have given it to him again!”
The Japanese man’s wife also weeps and says, “I could have given him teriyaki or tempura!” I didn’t realize he hated sushi so much.”
Everyone turned and stared at the Portuguese man’s wife. “Hey, no look at me” she said. “Da bugga makes his own lunch!”
Q) Why did da Portage burglar break two windows?
A) One to get in, and one to get out.
There was a Hawaiian, a Samoan, and a Chinese guy applying for work at a construction site. The manager looks at the Hawaiian and says, “You look pretty big, you can lift all the heavy lumber.” He looks at the Samoan guy, “You look pretty big too, you can carry all the bricks, and cement.” He looks at the Chinese guy, and goes, “Hmm, you’re a little small, but, you can be in charge of the supplies.”
Later that day the manager goes to check on his new employees. The Hawaiian guy was busy carrying all the lumber, the Samoan guy was moving the bricks and cement, but he couldn’t find the Chinese guy anywhere. The Chinese guy jumps out from behind the wall and yells, “Supplies!”
Hint: You gotta say it wit da "accent".
And a classic one fitting for today..........
One night at a bar, a haole guy ordered a beer. Holding the beer up as if giving a toast, he yelled “T-G-I-F!”, and guzzled it down.
A Hawaiian guy at the other end of the bar held up his beer and yelled “S-H-I-T!”, and guzzled it down.
The haole ordered another beer, held it up, once again yelled “T-G-I-F!”, and guzzled it down.
The Hawaiian ordered another beer also, held it up, and yelled once more “S-H-I-T!”
The bartender finally said to the haole guy “What is T-G-I-F?”. The haole guy replied “Thank God It’s Friday!”
Turning to the Hawaiin guy, the bartender asked “And what does S-H-I-T stand for?”
“Stupid Haole, It’s Thursday!”, said the Hawaiian.