Duh... If I Knew That
By Braddah Lance
Last night I was on my way out to meet someone when I couldn't find da truck keys. I looked for about ten minutes tossing and turning things over but couldn't find it.
And da classic conversation ensues:
BL: BABE! You seen da truck keys?
Da Wife: The what?
BL: DA T-R-U-CK KEEEEEEYS!
Da Wife: Where'd you last put it?
BL: 
Wassup Wit Dat!
How come it's always li'dat yeah? Someone always gotta ask, "wea you wen put 'em last?" Really, if we knew wea we wen leave 'em last, would we be in dis predicament?
Naturally I try to retrace my steps:
Come home, move da truck, move da bike, let Da Dog out, check da mail, pick up Da Dog's doo-doo, wipe down Da Dog, walk through da garage, look for stuff on da dining table, send a quick email, exercise, start making kim chee.
So I ended up taking da bike to meet dis guy but he nevah recognize at first cause I told him I was coming in da truck. Ai-goo.
I come home and go back and forth through my steps but nada. I tear threw da garage like a hurricane, I rip threw da dining table like one tornado then I start to go shmall kine nuts like da SupahFerry. I check inside da truck, on da bike, around Da Baby's toys - a'ole.
Wea da buggah stay?!?
I go back to making kim chee still trying to trace my steps since I already tossed and turned practically everything in da house. So I figgah I get da spare keys for Da Wife to use da next day.......
Geez, now wea da spare keys stay?? Dis really sucks okole!
Finally aftah midnight it hits me..... walk outside to da rock wall and there it is. Sitting pretty on top of da mail dat I put down so I could pick up da doo-doo.
Damn dog!
Don't you hate wen dat happens? Wen it's so easy yet so stupid. 
Have you evah gone pupule looking for something? Have you evah been sooooo sure dat it was in one area only latah to find out you was totally off? Isn't dat "conversation" so funny dat it makes you mad?
Now wea did I leave dat key clapper?
Wassup Wit Dat!
August 21st, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Brah, thank goodness you still have a truck
August 21st, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Howzit BL,
Almost everytime I use my wife kar, no can find da keys and she doe no whea stay too. She always looking fo da check book, always looking fo da Costco book, always looking fo da bills to pay. Waste so much time looking fo da tings.
August 21st, 2012 at 4:32 pm
happens all the time! just wait until you get all MLC! sometimes i can't find something for the longest time... only to find out that i'm holding the darned thing in my hand! lol. yes, it's happened.
August 21st, 2012 at 5:38 pm
as usual it's in the place you no think would be... main ting you found the buggah... happens to me more often now... auwe
August 21st, 2012 at 6:54 pm
Dude, make a little box. Put it somewhere like on the kitchen table or in the hallway or something. When you come home, you drop the keys and maybe the wallet and phone inside that buggah. Get into the habit that the box is where the keys always stay. Works like a charm.
August 21st, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Hate it when I go in da bedroom and think, "what I came here fo?"
August 21st, 2012 at 9:46 pm
They say the mind's the first thing to go...
Welcome to 'old fut' age! Nanana... you not 'old' yet... just getting there step by step.
One ting... if you make one nice box to put your keys & wallet & stuff in and get all habituated to puttin' them in there, the day you forget to put 'em in there you REALLY going go nuts looking for 'em, let me tell you. Been there done that.
August 21st, 2012 at 9:49 pm
@hemajang - hey, s'long as you don't forget why you there when you go into da bathroom, you're in good shape.
August 22nd, 2012 at 4:21 am
I have so been there! So frustrating! Glad you found your keys.
August 22nd, 2012 at 5:51 am
Guud morning BL!
August 22nd, 2012 at 5:52 am
Bradda..make sure when you leave da house today you say wearing the underwear and not da wifes panties.....lol
August 22nd, 2012 at 7:47 am
Why you gotta blame da dog for? It's your dodo head that cannot multitask come on who can't hold da keys, mail, and pick up one lawn bomb?
S/he could have gone doo doo in da house den you would have been more pissed right?
Better yet good thing nevah rain on your keys then da alarm thing would be all messed up and you would have been more pissed.......at da dog.
August 22nd, 2012 at 8:01 am
Welcome to the makule syndrome, although u 2 young 4 dat! I'm in my 80's n' evry bodi in our retirement community sameo. Now join iPad learning center and all makule like me, so everyone in same boat. Over 15K living in community, all losing their marble. Wun happi ohana.
August 22nd, 2012 at 8:08 am
been there, done that.
I once was looking for a memo I typed. I tore up my desk looking for it. Swear I looked everywhere.
I went to the bathroom, came back to the office and it was sitting in my inbox.
August 22nd, 2012 at 8:22 am
My wife always blames our cat when she can't find stuff.
August 22nd, 2012 at 8:24 am
My ex-wife was looking for her glasses and asked me if I saw it. I said yeah I see it, it's on top of your head.
August 22nd, 2012 at 8:33 am
Oh boy, I can relate to the forgetting what I was supposed to do when I walk in the room. However, because my mom was the queen of llosing her keys, pretty much every day, I did what your readers suggest and always drop my keys into my drawer as soon as I get home.
August 22nd, 2012 at 11:53 am
lucky thing your truck was still there! I have done the samething too. Drive me nuts. Especially if you just went look lets say on the tv didn't have it, then all of sudden BOOM it's there. Drive me more crazy!
spirits maybe? lmfao.
August 22nd, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Yikes I wen forget wat I waz goin post .......be back latta's if I rememba.....
August 22nd, 2012 at 9:01 pm
I thought you was going say dat you found da keys in da kim chee.
August 22nd, 2012 at 9:09 pm
Dis reminds me of a similar conversation:
Me: Honey, what is da kine's last name?
Her: Which da kine you talkin' about?
Me: You know, ahh, da kine, umm... Mike! Wat was Mike's last name?
Her: Mike who?
Me:
August 23rd, 2012 at 5:02 am
I remember working at Oahu CC and was talking to Dave Shoji. He was complaining that he lost his sunglasses. I didn't have the guts to tell him they were on top of his head!
August 23rd, 2012 at 6:03 am
Guud morning BL
August 23rd, 2012 at 8:03 am
Rogah dat! Luckily it was mostly hidden cause get a big van parked in front of our wall.
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But she found you no?
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LMAO!
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Yup. I was trying to tink "now wea would it be dat I wouldn't have looked".... but nevah work.
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We already do dat and yeah, it does work great but I was outside "multi-tasking" so nevah have da box.
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I only go to da bedroom for one thing...........
btw, E komo mai back! Been awhile.
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Brah, I've been there awhile already.... but still in da waiting room waiting for my name to be called.
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We all have been there.
E komo mai back to WWD! It's been awhile for you too!
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HA HA HA! I would know dat though.... it would feel like a Speedo going somewea it shouldn't.
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HA HA HA! Well if I can't blame da dog... who I going blame?
But at least I would have found da doo-doo.
Negative. Da truck keys is separated from da alarm fob plus da fob stay "water-resistant" and no, it wouldn't have been da dog's fault.... I would have blamed it on da rain.
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WOW! I officially dub you da oldest Kwonic!
You in Florida?
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There's a cat on da mainland dat keeps going into neighbors yards and taking stuff so she might not be off there with da cat taking stuff.
I can imagine it happens a lot more often than not.
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It does work.
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Could be little Menehune's.
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So I guess you not coming back huh?
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Wat you tink is da secret ingrediment?
Classic!
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Ha ha ha! You should have pointed to da sky and hoped it would slide off his head then guarans he be cracking up!