By Braddah Lance
As you may already have assumed by my Korean background, I enjoy spicy grinds - or at least spicy condiments - so it's not often - rare in fact - dat da BL household was out of one.
Unlike most oddah people, I buy spicy condiments Sam's Club size and das da only way I roll so if they no carry da spice then I buy da biggest bottle there is at da supahmarket. Hea's a quick breakdown of wat I got:
Bull Snort jalepeno juice
Korean chili peppah
Shichimi (Japanee chili peppah)
Kilauea Fire Hawaiian style hot sauce
Sweet chili sauce
Garlic chili peppah paste
Hot peppah jelly
Spicy bbq sauce
Crushed red peppah
I tink das all I could see and remembah.
Dis past Sunday Da Wife was in da mood for pizza so of course gotta oblige right? But wat's pizza without hot sauce? Aftah grabbing a slice, I look for da sriracha. A'ole.
BL: "Babe, wea's da sriracha?"
DA WIFE: "Did you look in the fridge?"
BL: "Uh, yeah?"
DA WIFE: "Did you look in the pantry?"
BL: "No more. I thought we had anoddah bottle."
DA WIFE: "If it's not in the fridge and it's not in the pantry, then we must be out huh? We just have to pick up the next time we're at Sam's."
BL: "So wat I going eat da pizza with?!?"
Trust me, pizza is not da same without hot sauce. Strike dat.
Pizza is not da same without sriracha.
I tried oddahs: chili peppahs, tabasco, jalepeno and even jalepeno juice but it's just not da same.
So determined dat a bottle of sriracha was buried in da pantry, I go digging and dis is wat I found......
You read right. Da WORLD'S HOTTEST PEPPER!
I completely fo'got I had dat bottle. A friend of mine had given it to me late last year wen she came back home from Seattle and I'll admit it........ I was afraid of it.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Well, wen da words "World's Hottest Pepper" is on da label, it makes one tink about ingesting it and eventually having a FITH (Fire In The Hole). Maybe calling 911.
I had an opportunity about eight years ago on a trip wit Da Wife - who was Da Girlfriend at da time - and there was a full grown Ghost Pepper on my jambalaya dat da server said was for "decoration only" and to not eat it. I was tinking "just decoration? WWD!" all da while Da Girlfriend was chiming in saying "don't even think about it."
But of course I did cause everyone said not to.
Well, I took a very very manini bite da size of a chili peppah flake and da buggah was HOT!
Back to da inferno at home, since I was desparate for a little spice and curiosity got da best of me, I decided to opened da bottle and tasted it with a toothpick. Not bad. It was tasty but then da heat came. I convinced myself could handle so I poured it into a dish and dis is wat da last slice of pie ended up looking like....
Da top of da pizza is usually white.
And yes, I ate da crust dat was drenched in da sauce too. Then dis is wat I looked like aftah five slices......
You can't really see it but my cheeks were flushed and I was sweating like it was 102 degrees outside. You could literally get a sunburn from me if you stood too close. I'm surprised da lens on my camera phone didn't fog up.
Sadly, Tabasco will nevah be da same now and has now downgraded in da heat scale for me.
Can you handle spicy foods? Or is tabasco your hottest? Wat's da hottest thing you evah ate? Do have to spice things up wen you eat? Just noticed dat all da "hot sauces" has vineagar - how come? Have you evah had a FITH? Have you evah done a "spicy" challenge?