America's Got Talent

October 8th, 2013
By

Yesterday at work aftah changing clothes in da bathroom stall, I opened da door and saw some amazing talent going on.

Get your mind outta da gutter - not dat kine.

Da layout of da bathroom comes out wea as you open da door and step out, da urinals are kinda in your face towards da right hand side on da way to da sink. Well, not dat I was looking (Braddah Code numbah 13 - No look left or right while you shi-shi), but I couldn't help notice a glow coming from da dimly lit area. Da braddah was TEXTING while going numbah one!

Wassup Wit Dat!

He had one hand holding his pants open and "aiming" and da oddah hand at eye level swooshing his thumb - Now das talent! Funny thing as I started to wash my hands, all I was thinking to myself was...... how is he going to tinkle and zip up? My mind was spinning about all da possibilities of wat could go wrong during dis WWD! moment.

Would da braddah notice if he had tinkle drops down his pants trying to do it one handed? Would he do da franks and beans (Something About Mary movie) cause all us braddahs know it takes TWO hands to zip up? Would he dare still hold his phone and lower it to wea it shouldn't go and "clean up"?

While I was still sticking to Braddah Code 13, I noticed he didn't scream from a franks and beans and I couldn't help but to use my slant eye peripheral vision to see dat da Braddah was STILL TEXTING without skipping a beat! Even while I was getting paper towels, he still was swooshing his thumb like Harry Potter's wand and washing only his one hand. It's a good thing da toilets, urinals, faucet, soap dispenser and paper towels are all motion sensored oddahwise he'd be severely disappointed to have to stop texting - or stay unclean.

Wat's da etiquette - if any - about a cell phone in da bathroom? Have you evah answered a call in there? No lie now. Do you text while in da office? Play games? If not in public, I bet you do at home right? :wink:

Da oddah week in da same bathroom, I immediately noticed a guy talking to himself but I then realized dat he was on his phone while doing numbah 2. It was clear enough dat his travel plans were confirmed, his itinerary for dat day set as his "loud" conversation was clear..... from both ends. :lol:

If you evah get a call from me, it's a burp ok?








Posted in WWD! | 12 Comments »

12 Responses to “America's Got Talent”

  1. Bowling Buddy:

    I bring my cell with me where ever I go, including the bathroom. Its so convenient than running out, trying to wipe(number 2) and miss the call. So frustrating.


  2. Ocean Lover:

    Maybe you met the legendary bathroom WEIRDO? Can you imagine if da buggah was texting YOU at the time? "Eh BL......you can come ova hea and HELP ME" ;-)


  3. DIO:

    OL: Texting not so bad. I hate to imagine Skype. LOL


  4. wafan:

    And what would you have done if he had "that" problem? Gotta feel sorry for da guy, yeah? I hope you would offer to hold his . . . phone . . . and let him resolve the other issue himself.

    Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!


  5. sally:

    It's also so weird to hear a cell phone conversation in the ladies' room. I've heard party planning, babysitting scheduling, happy hour planning, "Do your homework!"ing, boss venting, and more ... from stalls in the ladies' room.


  6. wafan:

    Okay, how you cover for the obvious sounds while sitting there while on the phone. Gotta be a very understanding or forgiving friend/spouse/significant other. Maybe just uncontrollable gawfaws by the other person on the phone?


  7. Da808:

    When I see or hear the guys on my work floor using their cell phones in the rest room I purposely continuously flush the urinals or toilets so the people they're talking to can hear what’s going on. First of all it’s rude, and secondly it's so unsanitary.


  8. Makiki:

    Re: Da808 - Same here! I try to make loud "noises" if I hear someone on the phone in an adjacent stall. 2 of the many places I don't feel phones should be is where the food goes in and the food comes out.


  9. Glenn D:

    Talking on cellphone while going #2 in da stall is one of my pet peeves that I really hate. I got one lolo doing that at work and I was in da next stall. I kept flushing the toilet ova and ova figuring whoeva is on the oddah end can hear, yeah? Flushing mysteriously stopped when he hung up. Conincidence? Not!!


  10. Lowtone123:

    I never enter into a phone conversation while using the bathroom. Unless it is an emergency, I politely say "I'm in the bathroom right now, I'll call you back". Secondly, you never know when your body might emit a sound you'd rather not have others hear on the other end. Lastly, I don't want what lurks in the bathroom on my phone.


  11. rayboyjr:

    ... hey Braddah Lance ... I used to stand in amazement ... when I used to see a co-worker use the urinal ... and no, I didn't break Braddah Code 13 ... it was like Braddah Lance - side eye from a distance ...

    ... anyway, this co-worker had a similar talent ... upon approaching the urinal he would grasp the flushing handle with his left hand and no let go ... with his right hand he would unzip, whip it out, pee, shake (ok I don't know if he shaked or not), stuff it back in, zip up, then flush with the same hand that's been holding the handle the whole time ...

    ... impossible, I say ... but he did it all the time ...


  12. M:

    Howzit BL!

    Dats so funny, I don't use my phone in da batroom.