By Braddah Lance
Working in Downtown now, I have to ride da elevator at minimum two times a day and each time, it's with different types of people traveling to one of thirty floors.
Trust me wen I say different.
Actually it really should be a social experiment as to how/wat people do during da 10-30 seconds of da ride cause I certainly do it. And no lie, I'm surah most of you do da same too wea you "check" yourself out if you by yourself but if get oddahs in da elevator, you check them out instead. Da elevator I ride in no more mirrors but it's reflective stainless steel so it's like mirrors and you can see people all ovah - so wat do you find yourself doing? Staring forward? Staring at da floor numbahs changing above da door? Staring down? Staring at your phone dat no mo' reception?
You tend to pick up things like wat type of clothing do people wear, I can see them.... are they looking at me? You wonder wea they going or wea they work, are they invading your bubble, how come they not making space to let oddahs in, no ack like you on da phone wen you no get reception in da elevator, did someone just touch my okole?
Of course get da kine dat hit your senses in a nanosecond wea da person could be a hottie and you like look but no like make obvious cause you only standing a foot and a half away and conversely get da kine wea you definitely no like look either.
Da one thing dat drives me crazy is those dat fill up da 8x8 box car with smells dat only YOU personally would/could withstand. You know, just like your futs - EVERYBODY dies wen they smell 'em but if it's yours..... you keep taking a whiff until pau.
Wassup Wit Dat!
There are perfumes, colognes, cigar/cigarette smoke and straight up killahwiffa body odor.
Do you check oddah people out while standing in an elevator? Do you hold your breath in sensory overload? Wen get mirrors or reflective material, you check yourself out wen by yourself? No lie, I know dat you do.
Believe it or not, all dat happens within 10-30 seconds of your life riding in an elevator and it's funny to tink das wen all your senses and observations fly off da handle and yet you can literally forget about it once you step outside da elevator.
It reminds me of Ocean's Eleven:
You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side.
No get paranoid now wen you go work.
Happy Feel Good Friday everybodies!
SHOUT OUT: A HUGEMANGEOUS shout out to one of da original WWD! Hui readers, snow, for bailing me out yesterday! She was da only one to help me out of a bind in my plea for help through social media yesterday evening and saved my okole by picking me up and dropping me off aftah she wen pau hana! You my hero!