By Braddah Lance
If there's one thing Hawai'i get choke of - besides Spam - is rubbah slippahs, NOT flip-flops, RUH-BAH SLIP-PAHS. Or slippahs for short. And unless you go early wen Longs get da sale, chances are no more your size. One day at Old Navy, they had a really cheap sale on slippahs so I bought "back-ups" and it reminded me of dis blog I wrote about back in 2010........ yeah, 2010!
Back in da day, for those who've always wondered, we used to put 'em on our hands fo' run fastah - you know, aerodynamics and all. Actually was cause we nevah like lose 'em and get lickins'. It also came in handy wen playing chase mastah cause you could just slip 'em on and run threw da pokey mine fields.
Da most "experienced" ones could walk out from class wit 'em on and wen recess came, walk down to da field (cause no like get busted for running) and immediately go into a dead on full sprint - and da slippahs? It would fly right off like Forrest Gump's braces. Da draw back? You ALWAYS ended up looking for one side or da more common scenario, somebody wen cockaroach your slippahs cause wen look like theirs. Then you go home and get lickins'.
Rubbah slippahs are notorious for breaking but of course - being da resourceful kama'aina we are - we ALL knew how fo' MacGyver da buggahs back - even da wahines! I tink das one requirement fo' being one kama'aina. Wen da buggah pop out we jus' wen slide 'em back in and if da buggah came "too loose"..... duct tape! Well, any kine tape. Masking tape, scotch tape, even staples and papah clips but gotta make surah da sharp side points down!
Everyone - except da wahines I tink - used to wear 'em till was papah thin and it was kinda one treat fo' go and buy new ones. If we saw any kid wit "Scott's" on we was jealous cause those were like da Mercedes of slippahs. A hybrid of sorts, rubbah on bottom but thick fabric on top. Now repairing those were tough but it's amazing wat super glue and duct tape could do.
Back then to now, still get da rubbah slippahs but now get da fancy shmancy kine. HIC (Hawaiian Island Creations) was/still is da premier "fashion trend setter" of da rubbah slippahs. You could custom make your own! How cool was dat! It was - not surah about now - da cool thing to mix and match da colors so your pair actually didn't look like it was a pair. You could pick a different color top from da bottom and literally have four colors on a pair of slippahs. Da trouble wit dat? Wen you stay someone's house wit choke people, da only way to find your's was by putting 'em on and doing da footprint identification test. If you evah questioned if it was your slippah or not, it was by how your heel and toes lined up in da permanent indents in da rubbah.
Years ago, my team must have felt real bad for me cause I used to come in these boro boro "regulah" rubbah slippahs. As a coach's gift, they bought da fancy shmancy Quicksilver kine slippahs and I was really touched cause I nevah evah had "fancy" slippahs even as an adult. I really cherished those so I nevah wore 'em out to anyplace I knew was going get dirty - not even to practice. I only wore 'em out to "special places".
A couple years latah my dog ate 'em. Really. No joke.....
But I still wore 'em.
It was hanging on by just a single seam and my foot would slip if was wet so I couldn't go fastah than a walk. As such, it was "demoted" to be worn as "practice slippahs". My playahs teased me throughout da season and whaddayaknow, at da end of da season I got a pair of MORE fancy shmancy kine Quicksilver slippahs..... it had air pockets in da heel like Nike Air's AND a bottle opener on da bottom!
Whoa! Can run & open my "beverage" without skipping a beat. MacGyver would be impressed. Those were da only slippahs evah to have a spot indoors on our "shoe" rack.
About a year latah.......
My oddah dog ate 'em.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Ai-goo. No can win I tell ya, no can win.