No Foolin' Me

April 2nd, 2014
By

It's amazing how quickly time flies by wen you start a new job, have an infant and still got uku-million things fo' do.

Da first quarter of da year is all pau and yesterday was April Fool's - in case you nevah know. While I wasn't able to have any "fun" with my co-workahs (ran out of time setting up one), I certainly felt like I was on da end of one...... of many.

Wen you have three different alarm clock settings and all three blow by plus snoozes, dat should have signaled trouble already. Da Wife and I both got up past 6am (normally up at 4:30-5:00am) and was supah late. Da Baby was wailing and Da Keiki nevah like wake up. Wen I was dropping Da Keiki off at school, da oddah keiki were wearing da school shirt but we nevah get notice to have them wear it so while there were a handful dat wasn't wearing it as well, I thought it was kinda messed up dat da majority was.

Once I get back home and jump on da bike, I roll down my driveway and dis is wat I see.........






Don't see anything yet besides da Band-Aid blocking my address? How's about a bag full of $H!T!

WTF! Wassup Wit Dat!

There are a lot of dog walkers dat travel up and down our street but nevah have I seen dis! There are a couple of new renters with dogs on da street parallel to us and I can only imagine it's them but cannot be certain. Wat I no get is wat kine of dog owners would literally leave $h!t on someone else's property to throw away let alone not even have da manners to throw it away in a trash can which was literally 12 inches away from wea dis person unloaded - pun intended.

I had two dogs for ovah 13 years and not once have I evah done dat. I've walked miles carrying their crap in a bag cause it was MY responsibility. If I evah catch whoevah doing dat, I going follow them home, collect all Da Baby's stinky diapers and leave 'em on their lawn... in a plastic bag of course. Ai-goo. :roll:

Of course you're reading WWD! so I not pau yet. While it rained earlier, it cleared up but of course on my way to work Mother Nature must have been pissed at me cause it poured on me in traffic. Naturally it completely stopped once I hit da driveway at work.

Then about an hour latah I get a call from Da Wife saying I have to rush home and pick up Da Baby cause one of da babies at da sitter's has impetigo, a contagious superficial skin infection.

Really? Anything else? All dis was within a three hour period and all I was hoping was someone would jump out and yell, "April Fool's!" - but no one did.

Did anybody get April Fooled yesterday? Were you a prankster or da victim? Wat was da best one you seen or done or witnessed? Are you a good sport about dis kine stuff?

Sadly I'm not immune to being a fool.... no mattah wat day it is. :lol:








9 Responses to “No Foolin' Me”

  1. M:

    Howzit BL!
    I hope you get one bettah day today. :)


  2. cojef:

    Wow, when it rain, it pours. Bradahh Lance, there will be better days. When we lived in Seal Beach, CA., a neighbor kid, 2 houses down the way used to run his big German Shepard down our street, and while doing so would throw a small piece of dog cookie in my yard and as you guessed the dog ran down the cookie and then would crap on my lawn. This had been going on for several weeks around 6 PM after I got home from work. Got tired about having to clean someone's dog droppings, so collected my little dog's droppings from his dog run on the side of our home, plus the kid's dog piles for several days. Late in the evening took the collection out from the package and laid the loot on their front stoop. Funny thing, the kid never came down our street anymore.


  3. Lowtone123:

    Ho brah, you take care of yourself and da ohana BL.


  4. Glenn D:

    Eh, at least it was in a bag, yah?


  5. rayboyjr:

    ... hey Braddah Lance ... I really don't like irresponsible pet owners who don't clean up ... no one would think of leaving a baby's loaded diaper on someone's lawn ... what makes it ok to leave doggie poop ...

    @Glenn D ... I think that made it worse ... you'd think the person knew better ... brought a plastic bag ... wrapped it up nicely ... but yet, after all that thought and preparation ... left it as a present for Braddah Lance!!! ...

    ... I'd hate to see a steaming pile of poop ... but at least I'd know that the person is an inconsiderate @$$wipe ... someone who leaves it nicely wrapped ... I don't know what to think of that ...

    ... then again ... who really knows what's in that bag??? ....


  6. 9th Island Girl:

    I told my husband I was taking my mom to Vegas for Mother's Day, when we just got back from our trip last week! He was relieved it was an April Fool's joke! I thought he was fooling when he texted me about the earthquake!


  7. keoni:

    The best April Fool's joke I've heard in a long time happened to a friend in Idaho. She lives on the property of her best friend; this is how she told it in a chat yesterday:

    Margie come banging on the door, says, you got a leak in the car. I say, yeah, old car, no surprise there...Margie says no you need to come look
    and see.
    so I go out an look, don't see anything, Margie says there in the front, lookin some more, nothing.
    She says open the door and look. I open the door, looks all dry. Margie points at the seat and there was a 'LEEK' laying there!

    :lol: :lol: :lol:


  8. M:

    Howzit BL!
    Happy FGF!


  9. TitaGirl:

    omgosh--I'm surprised someone would do that! Sorry to hear someone did that..but maybe wasn't on purpose.

    On another note..may I ask, why do you drive a moped? Do you work nearby, out of convenience? Drivers nowadays drive crazy! Please reconsider driving a car..I think it's a little bit safer. At least you wear a helmet..as you posted in another entry. I rode a moped from Kalihi to UH for 3 years and got into an accident once, thankfully, I just jumped off my moped as it slid down the road. The driver did not see me as he was changing into my lane, and all it took was one little "tap". For family sake, please rethink about driving a moped. :) Aloha! I love your columns, btw!