Wassup Wit Dat!

You Want My Left Olo Too?

May 20th, 2015

We've all been through it before calling a local or an 800 numbah and having to verify your whole life story just to find out if a transaction had cleared or verify that something had happened - or not - on your account or just need clarification and go through da whole shebang:

First and last name, date of birth, address (sometimes both residential AND mailing if different), phone numbah, social security, pin numbah, secret phrase, your left olo.

Das wat if feels like these days; before it was just maybe a few pieces of information but now if you no more blood sample or willing to cut off your left olo, no can.

Aftah going through a few automated phone prompts (we all LOVE those right?) I get a 'live' person at ASB (American Savings Bank). I give her my account numbah (mentioned I have a few accounts that need da same request I'm calling about), verified da 'main' information and then she asked me for da recent transactions AND account balances. Now who da heck - wen calling - going have dat type of info right on them?

She made it sound like it was SOP (standard operating procedure) everywea (maybe for her) but das da first time I evah heard someone ask me dat and I've talked to oddah financial institutions ranging from credit cards to credit unions to mortgage lenders. Da Wife usually makes da payments for these accounts so I don't know da EXACT transactions or balances but I knew da ball park figure so I told her.

She says, "You have to be more specific."

You got my entire credit history information and just cause I don't know wat da last check amount we wrote for, I not 'authorized'?

Wassup Wit Dat!

It's not like I'm not an authorized person (I'm on da damn loan). I'm not asking to change anything. I'm not asking to add anything. I'm not asking for specific information as if I was phishing for something. I can fully understand if my request was account changing and they couldn't 'verify' me but my inquiry was about tax forms they sent out - per our request two weeks ago which obviously wasn't a problem then - dat if she could check if we had activity in 2012 and 2013 as wen we made da initial inquiry, da 'customer service rep' said they would send all of it but we only got 2014.

Was dat an account jeopardizing request? Was it a request dat could shut down or affect our account? Was it a national security breach?

I fully understand and respect dat verifying information is part of their job for OUR security but that much information just so she can say yes or no if we were supposed to get those tax forms for 2012 and 2013? Seriously?

And then hea's da kicker, she asked me if I lived in Hawai'i? Really? Really?? If she doesn't have caller ID on her phone at da very least my account information is staring right at her. Didn't we just 'verify' all dis??

Oh yeah, I not 'authorized'. 🙄

Do you get frustrated with the 'verification process'? Have you evah just hung up? For anyone who's on da oddah end, you guys put stink kine notes on da account? No lie now, I know for a fact a major company does hea.... and let's just say you no like asterisks next to your name.

5 Responses to “You Want My Left Olo Too?”

  1. 4G:

    Ho, man - @BL

    You sure get the winners! I feel kinda bad for you, but at the same time, I cannot help but laugh! 😉


  2. Makiki:

    I feel your pain BL. I write very few checks and don't make any deposits so now when I call ASB I get online 1st so I have the answers to their questions.

    The WWD that gets me te most is asking me the 16 digit account number I just entered for "faster service".

    Also, I know for sure that AA logs call info.

  3. wafan:

    Sheesh, I thought I was the only one banks tortured. Many many moons ago I received a new credit card in the mail and called to activate it. After what seemed like half a bajillion questions the kicker was I had to tell them the financial institution where I had my first mortgage. 30. Years. Ago. Never mind the institution had been bought and sold multiple times over the years, and the branch had been closed a long time ago. Had to laugh asking if it was a real question. Yes, she insisted. So I started asking her why the silly questions. She got an attitude so I asked her name and employee number - got those with a snotty tone. Immediately drove to my local bank branch with the still inactive card. Walked in asked the manager if I could borrow a pair of scissors and cut my card up on his desk. Told him to close my accounts and cancel my card then left him with a note with the woman's name and employee number. The new bank is much nicer! No fees, too!!!

    Yeah, they still mail me "Please Come Back!" mailers several times a year. Nope. Not going to happen. By the way, that bank is not in Hawai'i. Good thing! The bruddahs would lose their minds.

    Oh, I have ASB accounts. Have not had any problems when I contact them.

  4. mows:

    Banks suck, they make a big business using your money to lend to other people and expect you to enjoy getting poor customer service. Think about it. What good do they do besides cashing checks and making money off of loaning your money to other people?

  5. moonfyre:

    I read someplace (a long time ago) that a lot of companies farm out phone answering to companies in far away places (yeah, India is one of them....) but I've also found out that a local branch of a bank in my town in CA had someone from Indiana calling me, and another person I called to ask questions about my account was in Georgia!! so... yeah, they aren't where you think they are... and they have no real idea who you are or where you are calling from either. The person you talked to on the phone sounded like she was expecting you to be looking at your account information online on your computer while talking to her... I admit, that's usually what I do when I talk to these people online, because I certainly can't remember all that stuff. But because of security restrictions, my bank (even online... on my secure webpage) only shows the last 4 digits of each account. So when the person on the phone asks me for my full account number, I gotta go look it up first. (I finally went to my bank and asked them for a physical print out of all my account numbers - which I keep safely locked up) so much they demand from us... so much to remember! yikes! and the older I get, the less I am able to recall...

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