Don't you hate it wen da "fine print" is too fine? I mean really, who wants to read da fine print wen da only people who can read them are ants?

But wat about between people? Does da rules change? Are there any 'rules' - understood or unwritten - dat most people follow?

Check out a craigslist ad I responded to which had me mixed in with stupidity, rudeness, desperation, unpredictability, irritation and all da anxieties dat comes with a "deal". Da following actual email 'conversations' spread across a week are pretty long but each interaction sets up da tone for da next........

[Saturday} BL:
Howzit! Call it at $20 and consider it a done deal.
}
}
[Sunday] Seller:
Deal! Available today? I live near nuuanu
}
}
[Monday] BL:
Sorry for getting back to you so late. Do you happen to work in town? I can swing by during lunch time or after work sometime this week. Let me know.
Mahalo,
Lance XXX-XXXX
}
}
[Monday] Seller:
I don't take a lunch break but could meet you after work during the week. I get off usually around 4pm
}
}
[Monday] BL:
I'm off at 5pm but if you're able to swing by ********, I can run downstairs or meet you somewhere close by - whatever works for you.
Mahalo,
Lance XXX-XXXX
}
}
[Wednesday] BL:
Hey Rachel,
Can you please let me know if you're still interested in selling the chips? Please text me - XXX-XXXX
Mahalo,
Lance
}
}
[Thursday] BL:
Hey Rachel,
Can you please let me know if you're still interested in selling the chips? I have a game Saturday night and could really use them. Please text me - XXX-XXXX
Mahalo,
Lance
}
}
[Friday] Seller:
Hey sorry I got another offer for 30 but they guy is supposed to get back to me today. I'll let you know asap
}
}
[Friday] BL:
Yes please. Text me should the other guy not show but that's pretty uncool to tell me that we had a deal, tell me that we'll meet up this week "asap" and now you have someone you accepted an offer of $30 with and will let me know should THAT deal fall through, you'll then contact me "asap" like how you said you would earlier.

I should be leaving town around 6:15pm heading Ewa bound so can swing by then. If I don't get a TEXT from you by then, I'll look elsewhere.

Lance XXX-XXXX
}
}
[Friday] Seller:
I'm sorry, but that's what Or Best Offer means...didn't hear from him today so if your off tomorrow around 3pm I should be home
}
}
[Friday] BL:
So what does "deal" mean then? In contractual terms, we made a binding legal agreement where you offered a product, I proposed a price, you accepted. That's the legal essence of "deal". So how can I be sure that you're on the up and up for tomorrow then? Between now and then someone could offer $100 and you're obviously going to renege our "deal" should that happen. What assurances do I have to arrange my schedule to meet you tomorrow??
}
}
[Saturday] Seller:
I have a short window today after work around 3pm if you'd still like the chips. I can meet somewhere near liliha bakery.
}
}
[Saturday] BL:
I can be at Liliha Bakery at 3pm. I'll be in a white Toyota Tacoma. TEXT me when you're there.
}
}
[Saturday] Seller:
Hey I got off early. I'm home already. We can still meet at 3 or anytime earlier if you'd like

WASSUP WIT DAT!

I was tripping out! Dis wahine was in some oddah world and I just couldn't believe dat someone would/could say 'deal' then string you along, rope-a-dope you and then not even bat an eye or even mutter an apology. Had it not been for my desperation, I would have been long gone from dis whacked up 'deal'.

Sadly, I'm still one of those dat firmly believes dat your "word is stronger than oak" so even though it is a 'buyer beware' market between people, I shouldn't be surprised any dat it is commonplace to get burned or jacked in a person to person 'deal'.

Unrealz how she couldn't text me dat she found someone else and no, da ad nevah evah mentioned - fine print or oddahwise - "Or Best Offer" so aftah dat email I knew she wasn't up and up.

Two can play dis game so no, I didn't accommodate her earlier meet time. In fact, I was contemplating on saying let's meet and no show up. 💡 Wen I got there, I was spocking out da parking lot, saw her and made her wait cause she still nevah like text dat she was there so I played dumb like how was I supposed to know she was there? 😛

The price was still wat I offered, da chips were practically new (heavyweight casino style) and I made her sweat it out while I sat in my truck with da a/c on 'waiting' for me.

I guess I couldn't help but add to da 'deal' too. 😆

Before you read any further, be forewarned that you will either laugh your okole off, be totally grossed out or offended in some way shape or form demanding justice.

Eh, if you dat PC..... no read 'den - WWD! is no holds barred and das how we roll. lol

Now on to da good stuff.

Chottomatte, you did read the warning above right? 😉 😆 😉




[youtube GtoHgdue5LA]




How's dat yeah? I certainly hope you ended up in da former warning as I most certainly did! Now dat was some funny $h!t..... literally! 😆 😆

As for me, I gotta admit I'm neither though. Some of you probably shaking your head and wondering wat da heck I do then yeah? Well, I certainly ain't no bidet user but I'm a hybrid of da two.

Wassup Wit Dat!

I totally agree with dat if you one 'stander', brah, you get more problems than I want to know cause I can only imagine da additional square wipe-age area you gotta take care of. Plus, I certainly wouldn't like da ka-ka going anywea near 'cleaner' parts of my body even if it's da okole region.

Now for those who stay sitting...... wassamattah you??

I'm surah we get some 'sitters' hea but why would you want your hand to go below da rim? You're literally inches away from da floaties and I can't even imagine sticking my hand anywea near da pilau zone.

As in life, everything evolves. Me? I'm da hybrid of da two cause I'm one squatter. Aftah I pau, I just lift my okole like I stay doing one "squat" so dat I'm free and clear of da pilau zone cause das one area I want no part of.

Now hear me out on dis cause by squatting, you have several beneficial advantages. Obviously you're above da rim but you also are able to check out your ka-ka and shi-shi for any irregulah colors or shapes. **Dr.Oz says dat you should check your poop for color and shape every time 😉 😉 **

Probably da biggest benefit is that your okole cheeks always stay separated whereas da standing guy, it would clench and smoosh (visualize stepping on a banana without da peel). From da squatting position, you're then able to wipe 'freely' avoiding da smooshed banana syndrome.

Last you get to check out da toilet paper to make surah you stay 'clean' whereas da person sitting would have a harder time doing so cause whether you look down or risk bringing it around fo' check 'em out AFTAH going below da rim, hmmm, I'll let your imagination run with dat one.

So wat you - sit, stand or squat?

No even get me started on wiping. 😆

Eh, if you all huu-huu about da video, complaints can be left at 1-800-8WI-PEME. 😛

Have a great Feel Good Friday! Keep it above da rim and make surah you wipe good eh? 😆 😆

Real fast.... wat you carry in your pocket? More specifically, wat you carry in your rear pocket(s)?

I had a great internal laugh dis morning wen I jumped into da elevator and an, ahem, 'matured' gentleman followed right behind. As we rode up, I always check people out in da mirrored reflection of da elevator doors (watched too much movies and paranoid) and saw dis gentleman reach into his back pocket and whip out a.......... comb!

Wassup Wit Dat!

I couldn't help but laugh as images of Vern crawling across da train bridge in "Stand By Me" was all distraught dat da comb fell out of his pocket - albeit was his shirt pocket instead of his pants.

Wat added to da chuckle, was dat he had a noticeable bald spot, thinning salty hair all around and a perfect middle comb "Alfalfa"-like but wavy. Imagine Rollie Finger's mustache... but on your head. LOL

So do you carry anything else oddah than your wallet? A switchblade?? 😯 How about some hair tonic? Do you still roll up your sleeves on your shirt? Or maybe still roll your pack cigarettes in your sleeve? 😆 😆

Not to rag on da 'mature' WWD! readers but sorry, it was just a great way to start da morning.

He was polite though.... one thing I definitely admire dat wasn't changed.

Its taken me awhile to muster up da courage to do a blog about dis cause there are so many angles and passionate feelings one way or anoddah but with it being such a frequent occurrence these days, I can't help to wondah why it's even an issue.

Da last year probably hasn't been so kind to our men and women in blue and from an original 'assessment' of how we should view authority to now you bettah watch your back, it's straight up pupule dat either side should.

Wen da heck has it been ok for any law-abiding citizen to not comply with instructions from da police?

If da police - aftah identifying themselves and in uniform - asks/tells/demands you to stay wea you are, stay there! If da police asks/tells/demands you to get your hands up, put them up! If da police asks/tells/demands you to follow certain instructions, follow them!

Unless they are violating your rights (which I can guarantee 90% of da people out there wouldn't/couldn't even tell you exactly wat civil right(s) is being violated), just do as they say. Da police are trained to uphold a level of control to prevent any type of escalating scenarios and to foremost... protect themselves from YOU.

So why would you approach them, stick your hands in your pocket or even hint at aggressiveness towards them wen told oddahwise?

Wassup Wit Dat!

Bottom line, just listen to watevah da police tells you to do - PROBLEM SOLVED! Why 'create' an air of attitude and confrontation? Do as they say and if there is a problem, state your case but definitely do not hint at any type of retaliation or threatening behavior. It's like vigorously shaking a can of soda and waiting for someone to pull da tab open.

It reminded me of da time Da Wife got into an accident and da HPD Solo Bike officer assaulted her with 'verbal attitude' and she made it out 'alive'. (Serving And Protecting With Aloha)

Dis debate can/will go on and on with people 'proving' different scenarios, situations and locations but it would all fall to da most basic and foremost premise...... why would anyone NOT guilty of a crime or questionable behavior behave any oddah way? Even if you nevah do nothing and got pulled ovah, why would you worry about being in 'trouble'? If you getting an earful of attitude, report it or ask for a supervisor to come on scene.

I will concede dat there are - and will always be - a handful of 'dirty' law enforcement officers but those I have to trust and believe are being handled. Das why I'm perplexed as to why it is so difficult - and time consuming - to get body cameras on officers to help protect both parties involved. It's such a no-brainer no mattah wat da cost and trust me, it can't be dat much can it? Hmmmmm, a multi-million dollah lawsuit vs maybe a few hundred thousand at most to outfit officers? 🙄

Just tired of all these people acting 'stupid'. Yes, I did call those approaching police and not 'listening' STUPID! Wen has it been ok to disrespect and ignore law enforcement? Wen has it been ok to strike an officer or provoke a tense situation and not expect any type of retaliation wen da officer's life is on da line?

I'm surprised no one's used da "ear wax build-up no can hear so I had to threaten da officer" defense yet.

Oh wait, now dat would be just too silly right?

At some time in our lives, we are all faced with one decision: stay or go.

Whether it be a relationship or friends, work is da most intimidating one. Wen you stay growing up and working at da carnival, a fast food joint or da local mall, das nothing but da moment you get your first 'real' job, you stay all nervous... and excited. Aftah dat, it's all hemajang.

You add in marriage, keiki, loans, obligations, watevahs and it's all about trying to work some place dat can satisfy not only everything you need but all those affected by your job cause there's no way around it - your 'life' will revolve around your job.

Wassup Wit Dat!

Advancement, money, title, prestige, recognition now come into da picture and while most will move wea da money is, there are oddah factors that will influence your decision.

My question to you, how many times have you moved - or changed careers - for watevah reason? Has your choice been easy or hard? Wat made you stay or go? Two weeks or see ya wouldn't wanna be ya?

My first real job aftah high school was at a hotel and I thought I'd be there forevah. I enjoyed seeing 'happy' malahini, helping them out and of course da smell of coconut suntan lotion was da clincher. 😆

I then 'grew up' and went into accounting and from way back when to now, I only had four 'real' accounting jobs including my current one. I'm a loyal employee - supah long story short - but new opportunities came up which were in line with wea I was at personally with my life.

Currently I've been offered a tremendous opportunity and there's some risk involved. Da pluses outweigh da minuses but it's all about dat leap of faith. Funny yeah? Wen it's not your decision to make, easy to give advice but wen it's your okole, you clenched tighter than a pit bull with lock jaw. 😆

Guess gotta fall back to our old Hawai'i mad lib adage.......

BL would go.