Wassup Wit Dat!

All In Stride

September 21st, 2016

Talk about a messed up Monday. It all started da moment I woke up.

Da Baby (is he still Da Baby having turned 3 or is he Da Keiki? Then wat do I call Da Keiki? Hmmm, for anoddah blog I guess) wakes up and immediately starts whining for Mommy - he doesn't like Daddy's morning regiment and depending on wat kine of mood he's in, it's a punishing daily Groundhog Day wen Mommy isn't around.

Aftah 'ignoring' his pleas, I finally get him to school but da ground is all wet with a slight drizzle so being da 'fun Dad', I fireman carry him through da parking lot while he giggles "fastah, fastah Daddy!" Of course I oblige but as I slow up at da top of da stairs wat happens? His water bottle falls out of his bag and tumbles two flights of wet stairs. I look at him and say "oops" to which he replies, "it's ok Daddy-O". Gotta love dat age. lol

Once I get home I get ready to leave for work and roll da bike backwards from da garage..... but like a dumb-okole rookie forgot to bring up da kickstand! Da simplest visual I can explain is try standing legs wider than shoulders apart and lift one leg - wat happens? Tiiiiimmmmmmmbbbeeerrrrr.......

On a level surface it wouldn't be a problem to recover da off balance but my garage is on a hill so once I hit da edge of da garage, da rear tire is lower than da front (like going ovah a speed bump) creating a quick inertia and gravity filled imbalance. Dat long streak is da kickstand dragging on da ground while it fully tilts da bike in da opposite direction. Wat happened next wasn't pretty and while everything played in slow motion, all it took was a mere few seconds for da bike to literally drop.

All I remembah was dat I couldn't hold da bike up past da point of no return and thinking da whole time "don't hit da car, don't hit da car!" I put her down as gently as I could but cause of da driveway angle and wet ground, she went down and slid about a foot trapping my right leg undah it. As I lay there working to get my leg free, I kept thinking, "wat a f*$%ing idiot!!" I pick up da 470 pound crotch rocket and before assessing da damage, check out my mother-in-law's car.

I was thanking my lucky stars dat I guided da bike far enough to miss her car but as I was being dragged, my helmet left a black streak da driver side door which I should be able to buff out. And to think I just mentioned to her if she knew dat she had scratches on her passenger side a couple days before too. Well, at least she now knows who left dis mark.

Now I went to asses my damage............

Cosmetically it's just undah $1k to replace (mirrors, side lights, handlebar end and foot peg damaged too) but being cosmetic and a seven year old bike, I can 'live with it' although da shame factor has no price. If it wasn't for these things called "frame sliders", da damage would have been way more extensive.

Aftah sucking up some pride and trying to wipe away some shame, I decided to head into work with slightly dirty jeans because feeling like crap, I nevah feel like changing. As da day went on and cleaning up some messed up work stuff, I wasn't having such a good day...... but wait, there's more.

Having to attend to some business next door, I walk along a wall outside and felt a quick sharp scrape/scratch and heard a rrrrriiiiiiiip.

Wassup Wit Dat!

It just so happened dat along da entire 40 foot long fence, da one and only part dat had a barb sticking out, I magnetically found it and consequently ripped my absolutely FAVORITE pair of jeans, my boxers and scratched my thigh in one fell swoop. Now having created air conditioning in my lower extremities, costly damage to my bike, an understanding mother-in-law and my pride/shame factor depleted, my co-workah suggested dis.......

To which he says aftah, "see, no can tell". LMAO! 😆

All things considering, da ghetto fix was da best part of my day. How's your day going?

12 Responses to “All In Stride”

  1. GA Bows:

    WHOA... when it rain, it pours for you. Glad you made it through without anything major!

  2. zzzzzz:

    When you get home, replace the temporary fix of your jeans with a permanent fix-- duck tape!!

    For your kids, keiki #1 and keiki #2? Or maybe keiki wahine and keiki kane?

  3. cojef:

    Hope the worst is over! ome days are like that. Like

  4. Ynaku:

    I was cringing the entire story until I saw the tape patch 😆 OK that made me feel better too.

  5. Hemajang:

    Whoa, that was not a good day but in the grand scheme of things it could have been worstest. Your family is fine and you'll live another day.

  6. Hemajang:

    Been having a good week visiting son in Seattle with a side trip to Vancouver but I return home today.

  7. Ocean Lover:

    I thought all the old farts told you to get rid of dat bike as you have a family now? Nuff said.

  8. Manoa Mist:

    "Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my Mama said."
    Dude you sure you nevah inject some Portagee blood inside of you? Always fun to read about your misadventures Braddah Lance.

  9. Makiki:

    Good thing your office buys the invisible tape! Seriously though, I think you should lobby for a 4 day work week and eliminate Mondays.

  10. M:

    Having a good day BL?

  11. ylea:


    It's another Monday. Watch out. Tell us how your day goes.

  12. Cook 'Em:

    Oh my goodness! Thank goodness you aren't hurt. Can't offer much about your poor bike or your M-I-L's car, but you could patch your jeans. To save a treasured garment that developed a puka or got torn, I sewed patches over the problem. Did this a lot when the kiddies were little. Check out Ben Franklin's or Walmart for patches or, here's a webstore with sports-related patches: http://www.fanatics.com/search/patches. Another thing I've done is go to the embroidery shop by the Ice Palace, and have them embroider a design over the puka. It's more expensive, than a patch, but they do a great job and the selection of designs is amazing.

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