By Braddah Lance
Vacations are supposed to be carefree, worry-free and free of the hum-ding of normal everyday life.
Well, let's just say that das not how WWD! rolls.
Aftah working 12 straight hours to get as much work as I could in, I rushed home for a red eye flight on Monday. Everything going to plan even aftah rushing to pack my carry on of last minute essentials. We dropped off my mother-in-law and her common-in-law, Da Keiki and Da Baby at da airport then headed back home for my father-in-law to drop Da Wife and I off back to da airport all well before da two hour check in.
As we headed out door for da final time, Da Wife was looking for her phone. Naturally we searched in da obvious places: bag and car. She then retraced her steps cause she was showing our house sitter da lay of da land. A'ole.
She went through her bag multiple times, she and I searched her car in every nook and cranny (surprisingly it was pretty clean in da places you normally don't look) and even checked da fridge! A'ole.
BL: You surah you no have 'em in your bag?
Da Wife: (with a frantic look cause she's NEVAH like dis) YES!
BL: You surah?
Da Wife: YES!!
BL: Ok. (went back inside da house to look make a sandwich cause I nevah eat da whole day)
Da Wife: Let's just go.
BL: You serious?! You know you going need da phone so we bettah find it.
Da Wife: (25 minutes latah) FOUND IT!
BL: (just rolling my eyes keeping my mouth shut with a sandwich)
Da Wife: You better not blog about this!
BL: Why would I? Plus, I don't use real names.
Trust me, she's on it like a comet and hardly evah is rattled, shaken or oddahwise and I no like say 'I told you so'... so I going keep my mouth shut to survive da vacation.
Wait, das just da first 45 minutes.
Having already checked in online and paid for our luggage along with notifying that we had two car seats in tow, we check in again (WWD!) at da Hawaiian Airlines automated kiosk. Aftah getting da same travel documents we already printed at home, our luggage and car seat tags were printed as well. Did I mention dat my MIL wasn't too thrilled dat we were "late".
Obviously having two car seats, we get two car seat tags but I guess they nevah saw two car seats packed into ONE box.
BL: (looking at da confused kiosk helper) There's TWO car seats in da box. They are flipped like Tetris so it could fit into one box.
Da Kiosk Wahine: (still staring at da TWO car seat tags but looking at da ONE box) But the box is oversized.
BL: Really? It's a car seat. It's only about six inches bigger than da regular box. (I flipped one box onto da oddah to make a single box) It saves space for you guys instead of having two huge boxes, there's only one.
Da Kiosk Wahine: (walks ovah to anoddah agent) They say there's two car seats in there.
BL: (explain da Tetris thing again)
Da Kiosk Wahine 2: We'll just get a supervisor to say 'ok'. (smiles and winks indicating it was 'ok')
Da Supahvisah: You have two car seats in there?
BL: (explains da Tetris thing again) I can open it up to show you.
Da Supahvisah: The box is too big. You have to take it out.
BL: But the box is the only thing protecting it - wat do we put it in then? We've had a car seat in a box before.
Da Supahvisah: But this is oversized.
BL: (nevah like upset 'Da Supavisah' and kept da 'wat about longboards & golf clubs being ovahsized' and way biggah than our car seat box comment to myself) So wat then? We no can take it?
Da Supahvisah: (hands me two ovahsized clear plastic bags)
BL: We had it in boxes to protect it from being thrown around.
Da Supahvisah: Car seats are placed in a special part of the plane.
BL: (das not da experience we've had - but I kept da comment to myself as well and starts to rip da beautifully taped box which I even 'built' handles so those who handled da box would have an easy time loading/unloading it)
Da Supahvisah: You don't have to rip up the box.
BL: Then how am I supposed to get da car seats out?
Da Wife: Do you have a knife or scissors?
Da Supahvisah: (kinda sassily) We don't have knives or scissors here. (seriously, with da kine 'mattah of fact' kine tone)
Well, let's just say dat I transferred any aggression ovah to da box.
And then da TSA line........... ohhhhhhhh boy.
Since wen was it ok to be right on somebody's okole breathing down their neck and literally shoving your things forward with their container from behind? Can't you see our hands were overly full with two keiki, two strollers and carry on's?
Ho Brah, I wanted fo'.......... woooooo-saaaaaaa.
Aftah all dat, we made it to da gate just in time to board.
But wait, there's more.
Aftah a little ovah five hour flight, we land and deplane only to find out dat one of our strollers is missing from da pick up area just outside da plane doors. There's three people standing there so I ask anyone who was listening where one of our strollers was at? One asked wat it looked like and we showed them, "exactly like that one". We couldn't understand how one was brought up but not da oddah? There were both IDENTICAL and I can only assume dat they were placed together in da hold cause they were together right before we boarded.
We were just hoping dat no one took it by 'accident' or dat it would be in da bizzaro world of lost luggage but alas aftah about fifteen minutes of waiting, it 'miraculously' showed up.
Oh yeah, wen I went to pick up our 'ovahsized' car seats in da ovahsized pick up area, it was placed in da special area all right.... as I heard it being thrown, thunked and partially rolled down da ramp.
Wassup Wit Dat!