By Braddah Lance
Right on national TV at a Presidential debate.
Right on national TV at a Presidential debate.
Before you read any further, be forewarned that you will either laugh your okole off, be totally grossed out or offended in some way shape or form demanding justice.
Eh, if you dat PC..... no read 'den - WWD! is no holds barred and das how we roll. lol
Now on to da good stuff.
Chottomatte, you did read the warning above right?
How's dat yeah? I certainly hope you ended up in da former warning as I most certainly did! Now dat was some funny $h!t..... literally!
As for me, I gotta admit I'm neither though. Some of you probably shaking your head and wondering wat da heck I do then yeah? Well, I certainly ain't no bidet user but I'm a hybrid of da two.
Wassup Wit Dat!
I totally agree with dat if you one 'stander', brah, you get more problems than I want to know cause I can only imagine da additional square wipe-age area you gotta take care of. Plus, I certainly wouldn't like da ka-ka going anywea near 'cleaner' parts of my body even if it's da okole region.
Now for those who stay sitting...... wassamattah you??
I'm surah we get some 'sitters' hea but why would you want your hand to go below da rim? You're literally inches away from da floaties and I can't even imagine sticking my hand anywea near da pilau zone.
As in life, everything evolves. Me? I'm da hybrid of da two cause I'm one squatter. Aftah I pau, I just lift my okole like I stay doing one "squat" so dat I'm free and clear of da pilau zone cause das one area I want no part of.
Now hear me out on dis cause by squatting, you have several beneficial advantages. Obviously you're above da rim but you also are able to check out your ka-ka and shi-shi for any irregulah colors or shapes. **Dr.Oz says dat you should check your poop for color and shape every time **
Probably da biggest benefit is that your okole cheeks always stay separated whereas da standing guy, it would clench and smoosh (visualize stepping on a banana without da peel). From da squatting position, you're then able to wipe 'freely' avoiding da smooshed banana syndrome.
Last you get to check out da toilet paper to make surah you stay 'clean' whereas da person sitting would have a harder time doing so cause whether you look down or risk bringing it around fo' check 'em out AFTAH going below da rim, hmmm, I'll let your imagination run with dat one.
So wat you - sit, stand or squat?
No even get me started on wiping.
Eh, if you all huu-huu about da video, complaints can be left at 1-800-8WI-PEME.
Huuuuuuuiiiiiiii.......... anybody stay?
Just wondering cause looks like between site problems and pages not loading, people may have given up on WWD! and really, only three or four comments?
While I wallow in blog sadness for da next seven seconds, hope Da WWD! Hui has a great Feel Good Friday but an awesomer (I know das not a word) - and safe - Memorial Weekend....... share a shaka (808 salute) with a soldier.
Man, da kine weather has been all kapakahi this week but today is turning out be beeeeeeaaaauuuuutiful! Lucky we live Hawai'i no?
One of da bestest days of da week is obviously today, Friday, and whether you call it Pau Hana Friday or da traditional "Aloha Friday", it kicks off with a song we ALL have heard, sung and probably have engraved in our hearts. Sadly, I don't hear it on da radio as often anymore and I guess it's anoddah fading 5-0 tradition but to help perpetuate it and keep it alive - especially for all da youngin's - hea's da words and a pretty cool video to go along with it.
IT'S ALOHA FRIDAY
Here is where I sit, all cloudy and blitzed
with the Primo bottles lying everywhere
Got a guitar in my hand and a Wesson Oil can
Under my okole for a chair.
It's Aloha Friday, no work till Monday.
Ah Do Be Doo, Be Doo Be Doo Be Doo Be Doo
The cousins all here, drinking up my beer
got keikies running everywhere.
I got some poke on the side while mama's trying to hide
the Miller and the Heineken beer.
OK. You know when you wanna get away, I mean one ting
about Friday ma, da working work is ovah yeah.
Frankly, ya, I feel good man.
I work hard all week long.
I can't wait to get away, you know like down like the beach.
I'm cruise dis weekend yeah, get one hot concert too man,
dat's the most important ting. But main ting too,
is to get enough money fo gas and to go out to da disco.
I like to see all da beautiful chicks Yeah!
So now I gonna jus kinda cruise, take my Bank Americard,
you know adderwise, how can I get money?
Right, plus den my friends always say
eh braddah, you can buy me one drink then.
Kimo and the crew sucking up the brew
pulehu meat smoking on the side
All the surfers are a-droppin'
while the highschool are a-poppin'
down Kaluakaua for a ride.
It's Aloha Friday, no work 'til Monday.
Doo be doo, doo doo be, doo be doo be doo be doo!
C'mon now, if you not in a Feel Good Friday mood by now...... go home cook rice!
Ha ha ha! I nevah use dat one in long time.
It's imperative dat as we age, exercise would be a no-brainer must do to help keep our ailing bodies strong(er) but wat dat exercise is, is da very thing dat eventually ends up in da been there/done dat pile.
Trying to swing back into some sort of regiment from a longer than normal lethargic state, I know wat I have to do but sometimes it just sucks to get da results dat I truly 'want', or at least visualize staring blankly into da fairy tale mirror.
Time is da ultimate killer as da old school infomercial went from 10 minute ab's to 9, to 8, to 7 and I'm pretty surah it went down to 5. There's P90X (90 minutes) which has a popular competitor T25 (you guessed it, 25 minutes) and how countless exercise videos trying to come in around da 20 - 30 minute mark.
I can ANY sport for hours on end. Seriously, I'll play basketball for three, four, five hours, I'll surf for half da day, go out and eat then jump back in da watah. No mattah if it's tennis, golf, ping-pong or kickball, if it's a sport I'm like da Energizer bunny.... before marriage and kids.
Now I'm only regulated to hitting weights since I can do it at home and I enjoy it up to a certain point - usually two weeks - and I'm like, "crap, those look heavy". One thing about lifting is dat to keep da results, you have to keep a routine and as most parents (with weight training experience) know, routine is not part of our vocabulary especially if you're doing it by yourself instead of with a friend or partner.
Just wondering wat you do to shake things up - so wat kine exercise(s) are you doing and how many times a week? Do you attend instructor led sessions? Are you in a specific sport hui or league? Are you a weekend warrior?