By Braddah Lance
I've nevah been a regulah breakfast eater but we've all heard da most important meal of da day is breakfast.... I've survived so far.
It always made me feel "heavy" to start da day cause I no tink I know how to eat. Wen I "eat", I like full meals and if da grindz is ono, I always gotta get seconds even though I stay "full". I normally no snack, and for now, I'm active enough to balance my weight although I just did a health screening and I'm...... *gulp*...... obese.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Well, I tink I stay ovahweight but cause da numbahs literally say I'm .1 ovah da category scale (according to da BMI calculator), I'm obese. It's kinda depressing but at least I know dat my body is a bit more muscle than fat so da scale, in my particular case, is shmall kine off. No, really, it is. Although I have been going da opposite direction of my workouts da last few years so my "definition" has become less definite.
I could lose about ten pounds to be more "slim" and within my "ideal category" so you know wat I heard from Dr.Oz? Yeah, I not shame to say I got him on dvr cause he got some interesting things to say on his show. One thing dat really stuck out was dat to shrink fat cells,
a recent study found that those who ate three yogurts a day while dieting lost 81% more belly fat than people who didn't eat yogurt. All study participants were directed to eat 500 calories less per day. As part of the Flat Belly Plan, you should eat about 6 ounces of low-fat Greek yogurt before every meal. Why? It's thought that calcium can help stop fat from entering your cells, improve your body’s ability to break down fat and help your body carry out fat through your bowel movements.
So I've been doing dat...... well, for breakfast anyways. I guess it would work bettah if I actually listened to wat I heard and ate it three times a day.
Well, I guess I should actually eat low-fat Greek yogurt instead of da Sam's Club low-fat parfait.
I've also heard to drink hot green tea in da morning to help something (can't remembah wat) but I've been doing it for da last year and actually throughout da day.
Well, I guess I not listening to dat fully either.
Oh yeah, supposed to eat smaller meals too yeah? I've been working on dat as well by putting dinnah in a smaller bowl or plate.
I guess I should take it as eating from a smaller bowl or plate one time instead of going up twice huh?
Wat have you heard to do das bettah for you? Have you done it fully? Partially? Wen you feel like it? In any case, da "change" dat you're doing, do you feel like it's working or can you admit, you only tink it's working?
Needless to say, da end result of all these "changes" is anyone's ultimate goal but wen you not following fully wat you heard to do, how can you change?
I guess das why infomercials will nevah die..... at least dat we know will nevah change.
I still can't believe it but I guess my white hairs will prove it.
Baseball practice just started up this week and amazingly, it'll mark *gulp* my 20th year of coaching.
I still can't believe it cause if there's a sport I really don't care about, it's baseball. I don't keep up with it nor do I watch any games oddah than highlights on ESPN so it's ironic how a sport I could care less about I'm still actively involved with.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Well, long story short. I was asked by a friend loooooong time ago if I wanted to help him coach.
BL: "Coach wat?"
Friend: "Uh, baseball - what else?" (He's a baseball fanatic)
BL: "Baseball? BASEBALL?! Dat isn't even a contact sport!" (BL played football and loves contact sports)
On the very first day I show up to da field expecting "teenagers" but wat did I see? Little 5-year old munchkin rugrats wearing gloves too big and hats that didn't fit. AI-GOO!
We had a majority of those kids for da next six/seven years moving up in age divisions and it was really interesting to see them grow especially since we spend a quarter of a year with them. Once we hit da 11-12 year old bracket, it was like a calling and we've stayed at dis age level evah since.
My friend has since "retired" about 8 years ago and I've been carrying the torch alone evah since - at times coaching two teams in a single season. I have anoddah friend dat helps out wen he can, but his work schedule prevents him from being there "full-time".
Why do I do it?
For the most part, I tell both the keiki and parents I don't coach baseball... I coach life. If they want hardcore baseball they've signed up at the wrong place. Don't take me wrong, the players will most definitely learn baseball - and I can say with certainty that they leave the program learning more about baseball in four months than they've learned the past six years they've been playing - but I will nevah sacrifice a life lesson in order to get a "W".
I also coach in a low-income latch-key community where I've seen too many punks with no guidance or direction...... I can say that because I grew up there for most of my young life and it hasn't changed much. I've seen and experienced things most keiki should not and know how tough it is to be an environment where most of the people you see are struggling in one way or another.
Thank goodness for having been raised by "old school Korean parents" and key coaches and teachers since now I blend all the influences I've expereinced and share them through coaching - hopefully it'll sink in for those keiki tyring to balance on the fence of life.
Every season as da baseball season starts, I always read this little story. Some say it's true, some say it's made up and oddahs say it was tweaked. But all da same, it's a reminder of why I still do what I do after all these years.
In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learning-disabled children. Some children remain in Chush for their entire school careers, while others can be mainstreamed into conventional yeshivos and Bais Yaakovs. There are a few children who attend Chush for most of the week and go to a regular school on Sundays.
At a Chush fund-raising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, “Where is the perfection in my son Shaya? Everything that Hashem does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is Hashem’s perfection?” The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father’s anguish and stilled by his piercing query.
“I believe,” the father answered, “that when Hashem brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that He seeks is in the way people react to this child.”
He then told the following story about his son Shaya.
Shaya attends Chush throughout the week and Yeshivah Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway on Sundays. One Sunday afternoon, Shaya and his father came to Darchei Torah as his classmates were playing baseball. The game was in progress and as Shaya and his father made their way towards the ballfield, Shaya said, “Do you think you could get me into the game?”
Shaya’s father knew his son was not at all athletic, and that most boys would not want him on their team. But Shaya’s father understood that if his son was chosen in, it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging.
Shaya’s father approached one of the boys in the field and asked, “Do you think my Shaya could get into the game?”
The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, “We are losing by six runs and the game is already in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning.”
Shaya’s father was ecstatic as Shaya smiled broadly. Shaya was told to put on a glove and go out to play short center field, a position that exists only in softball. There were no protests from the opposing team, which would now be hitting with an extra man in the outfield.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shaya’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shaya’s team scored again and now with two outs and the bases loaded and the potential winning runs on base, Shaya was scheduled to be up. Would the team actually let Shaya bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shaya was told to take a bat and try to get a hit. Everyone knew that it was all but impossible, for Shaya didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit with it. However as Shaya stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so that Shaya should at least be able to make contact.
The first pitch came in and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. One of Shaya’s teammates came up to Shaya and together they held the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shaya.
As the next pitch came in, Shaya and his teammate swung the bat and together they hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been out and that would have ended the game.
Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far and wide beyond the first baseman’s reach. Everyone started yelling, “Shaya, run to first! Shaya, run to first!” Never in his life had Shaya run to first.
He scampered down the baseline wide eyed and startled. By the time he reached first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out Shaya, who was still running. But the rightfielder understood what the pitcher’s intentions were, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman’s head, as everyone yelled, “Shaya, run to second! Shaya, run to second.”
Shaya ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shaya reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran towards him, turned him towards the direction of third base and shouted “Shaya, run to third!”
As Shaya rounded third, the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, “Shaya, run home! Shaya, run home!”
Shaya ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero, as he had just hit the “grand slam” and won the game for his team.
“That day,” said the father who now had tears rolling down his face, “those 18 boys reached their level of perfection. They showed that it is not only those who are talented that should be recognized, but also those who have less talent. They too are human beings, they too have feelings and emotions, they too are people, they too want to feel important.”
By Rabbi Paysach Krohn
If that doesn't move you, dunno wat will.
Just a little pick me up for a Feel Good Friday......... Pick a numbah 1 - 17 and das your proverb of da day!
1) Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
2) Man who run in front of car get tired.
3) Man who run behind car get exhausted.
4) Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
5) Man with one chopstick go hungry.
6) Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
7) Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
8 ) Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
9) War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
10) Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
11) Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
12) It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
13) Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
14) Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
15) Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
16) Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
17) Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Got any to add? If not, send it to 5 or more people.
Nothing will happen but at least 5 more people will be laughing today.
Have a grrrrrrreat Feel Good Friday and safe holiday weekend!
Walking around da hale dis past weekend I couldn't help but notice da amout of stuff we gotta do dat has been put off - ok, neglected - all these days, weeks, months and yes, years.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Days: Well, cleaning in general
Weeks: Toilets could use a good scrubbing
Months: Oh boy... da weeds, trash for da dump, do some truck maintenance, do some bike maintenance, put away clothes (yes, sadly I got mounds of clothes dat I just dig through although I do put my underwear away fairly quickly.... well cause I gotta put 'em on everyday)
A year minimum: Wash da truck, finish da gutters, finish painting da stairway, under da stairs and da oddah room, finish da stairway flooring, clean da garage, maintenance on da garage door, put in room trim dat's been sitting in da uncleaned garage, wash da window screens, wash da windows, prep da front yard for some sod, landscape da front with pavers
Das all I can remembah but I'm surah more pops up as I walk around again. It's not like I really put them off but something ALWAYS pops up whether it's an engagement, family affair or like now, da NFL playoffs.
Wat have you put off doing? Wen was da last time you washed your car or truck? Wen was da last time you washed your window screens? Wen was da last time you did anything? I guess da more important question is wen will you get around to doing it?
Happy Feel Good Friday everybodies and have a grrrrrreeeeeaaat weekend!!