September 21st, 2016
Talk about a messed up Monday. It all started da moment I woke up.
Da Baby (is he still Da Baby having turned 3 or is he Da Keiki? Then wat do I call Da Keiki? Hmmm, for anoddah blog I guess) wakes up and immediately starts whining for Mommy - he doesn't like Daddy's morning regiment and depending on wat kine of mood he's in, it's a punishing daily Groundhog Day wen Mommy isn't around.
Aftah 'ignoring' his pleas, I finally get him to school but da ground is all wet with a slight drizzle so being da 'fun Dad', I fireman carry him through da parking lot while he giggles "fastah, fastah Daddy!" Of course I oblige but as I slow up at da top of da stairs wat happens? His water bottle falls out of his bag and tumbles two flights of wet stairs. I look at him and say "oops" to which he replies, "it's ok Daddy-O". Gotta love dat age. lol
Once I get home I get ready to leave for work and roll da bike backwards from da garage..... but like a dumb-okole rookie forgot to bring up da kickstand! Da simplest visual I can explain is try standing legs wider than shoulders apart and lift one leg - wat happens? Tiiiiimmmmmmmbbbeeerrrrr.......
On a level surface it wouldn't be a problem to recover da off balance but my garage is on a hill so once I hit da edge of da garage, da rear tire is lower than da front (like going ovah a speed bump) creating a quick inertia and gravity filled imbalance. Dat long streak is da kickstand dragging on da ground while it fully tilts da bike in da opposite direction. Wat happened next wasn't pretty and while everything played in slow motion, all it took was a mere few seconds for da bike to literally drop.
All I remembah was dat I couldn't hold da bike up past da point of no return and thinking da whole time "don't hit da car, don't hit da car!" I put her down as gently as I could but cause of da driveway angle and wet ground, she went down and slid about a foot trapping my right leg undah it. As I lay there working to get my leg free, I kept thinking, "wat a f*$%ing idiot!!" I pick up da 470 pound crotch rocket and before assessing da damage, check out my mother-in-law's car.
I was thanking my lucky stars dat I guided da bike far enough to miss her car but as I was being dragged, my helmet left a black streak da driver side door which I should be able to buff out. And to think I just mentioned to her if she knew dat she had scratches on her passenger side a couple days before too. Well, at least she now knows who left dis mark.
Now I went to asses my damage............
Cosmetically it's just undah $1k to replace (mirrors, side lights, handlebar end and foot peg damaged too) but being cosmetic and a seven year old bike, I can 'live with it' although da shame factor has no price. If it wasn't for these things called "frame sliders", da damage would have been way more extensive.
Aftah sucking up some pride and trying to wipe away some shame, I decided to head into work with slightly dirty jeans because feeling like crap, I nevah feel like changing. As da day went on and cleaning up some messed up work stuff, I wasn't having such a good day...... but wait, there's more.
Having to attend to some business next door, I walk along a wall outside and felt a quick sharp scrape/scratch and heard a rrrrriiiiiiiip.
Wassup Wit Dat!
It just so happened dat along da entire 40 foot long fence, da one and only part dat had a barb sticking out, I magnetically found it and consequently ripped my absolutely FAVORITE pair of jeans, my boxers and scratched my thigh in one fell swoop. Now having created air conditioning in my lower extremities, costly damage to my bike, an understanding mother-in-law and my pride/shame factor depleted, my co-workah suggested dis.......
To which he says aftah, "see, no can tell". LMAO! 😆