Last week at our weekly visit to Sam's Club, I was about to pull into a stall but noticed dis.......

Wassup Wit Dat!

Seriously, FOUR, yup, count 'em... one, two, tree, four stalls! Your ego seriously has to be huge to even tink about pulling dis kine of stunt. It's not right in any means but IF you going try dat, there are some basic courtesies dat you should consider in your inconsiderate coconut shell.

First, go do 'um in da far side of da parking lot wea nobody wants to park anyways - not in a prime time area wea everyone wants to park. Second, your vehicle gotta be worth - at minimum - $75k and gotta be a model wea we cannot pronounce da name so we tink it's fancy shmancy. Also, if you get any kine stock rims, das one automatic FAIL! Third, try take up only TWO stalls unless you drive one semi-truck, there's no reason to save your life dat you should take up FOUR stalls. And last, if you going take four stalls...... use up ALL FOUR STALLS! Why would you even park part on one side and da majority on da oddah side. You already one prick fo' doing it, you might as well park "even".

As I walked by tinking about leaving a "love note", I noticed dat someone already did..........

Dat was so shweeeeet! Too bad it don't really mean anything but I liked da "Other Message" left on da stickah although I would have thrown in some adjectives myself. It really would have been da bestest if there was a boot clamped on though but I guess Security felt da Holiday Spirit.

Happy Feel Good Friday everybodies!




SHOUT OUT: Hau'oli La Hanau to Da Wife!

On my morning ride to work dis morning, as I was gazing through da vog, on da side of my eye (good thing I get slant eye) I saw a SUV crossing into my lane. It was one of those newer sadly designed blind spot ridden behemoth 4-Runners and it was crossing into my lane.

Crossing, not changing.



Click hea if da map nevah pop up.


If you nevah been in da shoulder lane in morning rush hour traffic, da only way to get on there legally is to enter it via da Zip Lane entrance. Once you pass da Zip Lane entrance, it becomes a dotted solid only allowing to change out of da lane and not into it.

Da 4-Runner was not more than a couple of feet running paralell to me as I was about to be ridden into da wall I gunned my engine for at least a couple of seconds and da wahine was clueless. I saw her look in her rear view then her drivah side mirror and didn't tink twice about it but thank goodness her daughter was paying attention cause she looked straight at me and judging from her expression, excitedly said something to her mom.

I pulled up along side her window and not even a "sorry, I almost killed you" wave. I indicated to her dat she was crossing a solid line for a few seconds as we traveled down da freeway and then I sped up to keep up wit traffic.

Wat does she do aftah I pull up?

You got it, she crosses into da shoulder lane anyways and as she's behind me, not tailgating but at a reasonable distance, I indicate to her that she crossed da solid line again. It's times like dis dat I wish I had a LED sign on my back to 'politely' say wat my charades can't.

As we approach da end of da shoulder lane wea you either go down to Nimitz or stay on to reenter Moanalua freeway, she changes into da lane dat goes back to Moanalua freeway anyways.

Huh?

At dis point, I'm just a little puzzled as to why it was so critical dat she be in da shoulder lane wen 1) it wasn't going any fastah, 2) obviously it wasn't an emergency and 3) she could have just stayed in da car pool lane which was a direct feed to Moanalua freeway.

Wassup Wit Dat!

While I know get some readers who going say maybe she nevah know, I gotta disagree cause she had keiki - and more than likely a job - which reasonably leads me to believe dat she must have traveled down H1 more than enough times to realize dat da shoulder can only be entered via one entrance and dat da shoulder lane ends.

While I'll nevah understand da actions of why some people do things dat don't make sense, it made me tink about.................

Aftah I was pau work and heading to my ride, I immediately noticed a behemoth blocking the space.

If you've read da oddah Road Rage blogs, you know dat I have an irking itch about lolo's who tink they not only own da road but own parking spots and motorcyclists are not an exception.

Dis actually isn't da first time it's happened in "my" garage.

A little background first. You see da oddah two bikes? Well, one scooter and a bike. Yup, there's anoddah bike behind da behemoth and originally those two bikes used to park at da front of da garage in a normal stall. They must have been told to move cause now they were in "my" stall but prior to them moving, they used to hog cheese ONE stall. Da scooter on one side and da bike on da oddah so only two of them could park.

Well, for those who don't ride, you can actually fit FIVE normal sized motorcycles/scooters in ONE stall. Yup, you read right, FIVE.

Anyways, I had to "educate" da oddah two and we've been living in harmony since. We each have our "own spot" and very conscience about da narrow entry/exit we have since there are two massive pillars planted on each side of da stall.

Then comes dis behemoth - already seeing dat there are three oddah bikes in each corner establishing a parking trend - and plops his okole (can't be a wahine dat rides dat monstah) blocking da way out!

Wassup Wit Dat!

I was so irked dat I wanted to just push da bike down .... but I nevah oddahwise I would nevah be able to get out. I nevah have my Post-Its in my bag so there wasn't a way to leave a love note so I was left just fuming in my helmet.

It took me awhile as I had to snake my way out and.... I'll just leave it at dat.

'Den on da way home, on da long stretch of Moanalua Rd in between Hoomalu & Hoolaulea St, a frickin' dark green Honda Accord came within a foot of running me into oncoming traffic!

I gunned my engine and da drivah looked in his mirrors and saw me but nevah even say sorry. In fact, he and his passenger was LAUGHING! Yeah, LAUGHING!!

Wassup Wit Dat!

Well, those weren't my exact words.

Da drivah was still checking his mirror as I was gesturing for him to look before changing lanes and da passenger kept looking back and they both continued to crack up. I wanted fo' pound in some respect into these frickin' twinkies! I followed them (well, they were on my route home) and they abruptly turned and gunned away.

Ugh.

Then dis morning on da way to work - besides da illegal twenty-some-wat- vehicles with a single person driving in da car pool lane - I'm riding along and smell something.

No, wasn't da fut lady.

Someone was smoking pakalolo while driving!

Wassamattah wit people these days?! Geez, I can see if they were 10 year olds who kinda don't know bettah but these are full fledge ADULTS! They've been around da block and (should) know socially acceptable behavior. Besides dat, don't people have a moral compass anymore? And we wondah why da world is going pupule? It's cause da very core of just being a decent person is being thrown out da window and being replaced with, for lack of a bettah word, evil.

If people keep perpetuating things we hold as bad, how can we expect any good?

Well, my bag is now restocked with Post-Its.

Last Thursday on my way home, I approached the intersection of Hoolaulea and Moanalua Rd as I've done thousands of times before and await my turn to make a left down Hoolaulea. It wasn't any different from any other day and there wasn't anything to signal otherwise...... until I got a chill.

As I sat on my motorcycle in the middle of the intersection waiting to turn left, the light turned yellow and three cars gassed it up and sped through as the light turned red. Could they have stopped? No doubt but there must have been some confusion as to which pedal was the brake and pressed the wrong one.

Yeah, dat was said very sarcastically WWD! style.

So I sat there still in the middle of the intersection - yes, smack dab in the MIDDLE........

From WWD!

Now for some of you dat always tink I get my camera ready for everything, dis is NOT a live pic I took while waiting. It's from Google Maps so relax au'ight?

Anyways, at that intersection, the far left lane is a left turn only and the two others are straight through.

*** Drivah's Ed 101: Might I remind some people that the proper way to making a left turn is to approach the intersection and turn only when it's safe. Whoever is next, is supposed to wait at the THICK WHITE PAINTED line and approach once the vehicle ahead has gone through (it's actually a STOP line for those who don't know the difference) so in case the light changes, you're not stuck in the middle of the intersection blocking traffic. Just so happens that the picture above of the exact location is a fine example of how it's "supposed" to look like. ***

Now back to da mo'olelo.

As I sat there watching da three lolo's speed through an already turned red light, I shook my head and muttered things I cannot repeat in print but I just sat there not moving. There was a truck behind me dat was on my okole (remembah da Drivah's Ed 101 tip above? Well da truck drivah needs to reeducate himself.) and gave me a quick toot to go..... but I didn't. I didn't look back nor did I even give a "friendly salute", I just sat there.

Don't ask me why but my spidey-sense was tingling as I stared at a car coming in the opposite direction about 150 meters away. The picture is pretty small but if you're able to see the third car from the left lane is near the second light pole and most light poles are about 150m apart (Google) so it was a considerable distance away.

Could I have turned and made it through? Absolutely no doubt. I probably could have gotten off da bike and walked it across safely and the truck behind would have been just as good. Instead, I just sat there waiting.

Now all this waiting may sound long to you but all this happened in a course of about three seconds. Sure, three seconds isn't long but when you're "waiting", three seconds is like three minutes. Try wait three seconds in traffic or at a light and see what happens - you going be da most popular vehicle on da road.

I just continued to stare at this white car and noticed that the front end wasn't going down. In case you didn't know, the most powerful brakes on a vehicle - and a motorcyle - are the front wheels, not the back hence the rear wheels screech because all the power and weight gets shifted to the front.

The car was approaching at a pretty fast speed and and it was one of those moments that you knew it wasn't slowing down and if it wanted to stop, it would have come to a screeching halt. I just waited and as it zoomed by, I gunned my engine multiple times near redline to catch his attention (my exhaust is loud dat way)..... and I get da stink eye like I'm da lolo.

Wassup Wit Dat!

Did da lolo not even realize he was blatantly speeding through a RED LIGHT??? There were no other cars traveling near him going through the intersection - except da three lolo's dat already blazed through waaaay before him - and it's an obvious intersection with lights. I muttered things again that would make an explicit rap song a nursey rhyme.

As I made my turn aftah da idiot passed by, da car waiting to go up Hoolaulea did a double take as if there were going to be oddah cars zooming by and looked up again to see if she had da green light. At that moment I realized dat if I had gone wen I "should" have gone, there would have been a definite fatality. Da idiot would have definitely plowed into anoddah car either going up or down Hoolaulea and it would have been disastrous for anybody involved.

Wen I shared my mo'olelo wit Da Wife latah dat evening, she said there was a bad accident at da same spot when she came home dat very same night wea had debris all ovah with emergency vehicles at da scene. Dat only happened a couple of hours aftah..... ho, chicken skin moment.

I couldn't help but wondah if it was "supposed" to happen and then I thanked God dat Da Wife didn't come home earlier.

It amazes me how everyday it seems like the most simplest thing - common sense - gets thrown out into the street - literally - without regards to safety or our ever declining sense of common courtesy.

Take for instance........................

From WWD!


Really? Really?? Stolling along in da middle of a "road".... Wassup Wit Dat!

I couldn't believe dis wahine was just sashaying her okole in da middle of da parking lot. (But if it was a pretty okole....... eh, nevah mind, rated PG) Da angle of da pic doesn't look so bad but you can tell she stay "off" by looking at hood of da truck and da groove in da middle of "lanes". She was actually non-chalantly on da drivah side of da truck before she drifted two feet to her right and then continued on da entire time as if she was on da open seas.

Da last time I checked, a parking lot was to PARK VEHICLES, not for pedestrians. Surah we gotta get to and from our vehicles but at da same time, we do not walk on da "road" part. We certainly do not let our keiki run around like it's a playground and you ALWAYS try and walk single file (unless you get keiki which I'd hope would be on da inside of you holding your hand).

Now da older parking lots tends to be more of a minefield to dodge cause da lanes are more narrow but da "newer" lots like dis one, are more than adequate to be able to have people walk on da side and allow vehicles da "freedom" to drive by.

I hate da fact dat nowadays people walking in parking lots tink they "own da road" and they not even in one vehicle!

Let me put it anoddah way.

Wat if I drove my truck on da sidewalk? Same ting. Ok, more realistically, wat if I rode a bicycle on da sidewalk? Isn't a sidewalk for "walking"? Wouldn't you expect those who rode their bicycles to go around you or give you - da pedestrian - da right of way?

So why is it dat wen wen it comes to a parking lot, rules change? I don't evah hear anybody call it a "walking lot".

Surah I could have gone around but WHY? Wat if had anoddah car come ripping da corner? It would have been my fault for crossing into da oddah lane. It's da pedestrian's responsiblity to know dat 1) it's not a sidewalk and 2) to realize dat it's a PARKING LOT and get your damn okole to da side!

Ok, let's spread da Aloha.

On anoddah note about shopping carts, Da Wife and I was at Daiei - oh sorry, Don Quijote - and I wen fo' grab one bag rice to put on da cart.




From WWD!

Can you see wat da problem would be?

Told you I stay da King of WWD!.