By Braddah Lance
If you've nevah been inside Fisher Hawaii in Kakaako, you don't know wat 'real' shopping is.
First, it's a warehouse with no windows, no a/c and no circulation oddah than a few fans placed at certain locations to help spread da sweltering heat infused with bodily odors dat no one should bear.
Especially during da back to school rush, there are hoards of people with keiki of all ages grabbing all kine school supplies and you see all walks of life checking off their list while tolerating da intolerable sauna of da warehouse. It's actually quite a spectacle and I am amazed dat either OSHA or da Department of Labor hasn't been called in cause I cannot imagine how one can work in conditions like dat all day being dat they are not classified as manual labor.
And garantee dat there must be some sort of animosity between da ONLY two areas dat actually have a/c: da upstairs office and da office furniture showroom. Da holiday office party conversation must be da same every year wea one side will 'comment' about da conditions and da oddah side just tries to empathize.
Standing in line is definitely no joke either. If there was an area to have fans, it should be there most certainly during da back to school rush as da lines absolutely do not move. And since there so many items being scanned one by one, it takes an extraordinary amount of time to complete a single transaction.
Yesterday, I went in to pick up a one item and stood in line. Dis (FOB) wahine decided to literally b!t#h da whole time about both da heat and da lines.
(Turns around to me) "Can you believe this? This is just like Vegas."
I just nod.
(Turns around again) "We're not even moving. How come we're not even moving?!"
I politely ignore staring blankly at da bathroom.
(Turns around again) "They really should do something."
I stare at da gazillion pen refills.
She then begins to mutter to herself, "What is this?" (picks up a backpack and just puts it on a rack on da side obviously not where it came from)
Then she removes da label maker from her cart and balances it on da hooks holding da pen refills cause she's questioning why she picked it up.
She then flags down a passing employee, "Why don't you have another line open? These lines aren't moving. This is ridiculous. This heat is killing me!"
Da employee who must have heard dat a million times just had a blank look on his face with no real answer but "I'll check with someone."
I kinda laughed inside and while you know da punch line, all three of us at dat moment just had our own interpretation of 'Wassup Wit Dat!'.
She was more unbearable than da heat so I was just going to return da lone item I picked up and come back later and thought I'd ask a passing employee if there were oddah registers. He escorted me to da one in da back wea there was only one oddah person in line as if it was a 'secret register' and it even had a water dispenser too! Totally scored!