By Braddah Lance
I gotta hand it to da H.A.R.T. guys dat if there was a push to continue da rail, I figgah'd out how they're doing it.
Have you driven on Kamehameha Highway recently or da past few months? Besides da obvious horrendous traffic dat it's causing making you "begging" for anoddah mode of transportation pronto, it's flat out frickin' nutz to drive on dat road unless you got a 4x4 lifted truck with posh suspension.
Consider dis post me saving you..... from screaming obscenities and flushing your face with an unnatural color oddah than a Hawaiian sun kissed tan.
On da way home a couple weeks ago I had to travel on Kam Hwy and nearly ate it - and I was only going straight! Da road is sooooooo bad dat it's a wondah why anyone would still be on it (das da plan, congest oddah roadways and make da existing roadways so bad dat there would be more rail supporters). As I was slowing down anticipating da steel plates strewn accross like Afghanistan land mines, I literally launched from my seat and had I not gripped da handlebars tightly in dat instant, garans-ball-barens I would have huli'd right on da road no doubt.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Dat $h!t woke me up mighty quick and got my heart pounding while I continued to play dodge ball with steel plates. I couldn't believe dat da construction workahs nevah even made an attempt to try and smooth out da "lip". It was like I was in da X Games Super Motocross Freestyle event with every lip I hit I could have done an aerial move and stuck a landing unless I was traveling single digit speed which made vehicles brake erratically and unpredictably creating a supah dangerous combination.
And if you happened to catch a section without metal plates and a launch pad, you'd have to face da pock marked asphalt making you feel like you were in a terrible massage chair. You actually would prefer pot holes to da crap das out there and das saying a lot as we all know our major roads are in disrepair.
But Kam Hwy from Aloha Stadium to Sam's Club is a pathetic joke! And we have to "live" with it for da next couple years till they move onto da next town?
I'm not saying they have to repave every time but at da very least, make 'em as level as you can and pave da area they damaged but not using. I think we citizens deserve dat "courtesy" as I can only imagine how much damage it has caused vehicles dat need to travel dat way everyday. And good luck trying to win a claim.
No wondah there's much more traffic on da freeway and by wea I live cause people tired of putting their ride through da he!! and back.
While there are many who may not travel via Kamehameha Highway, no worries, it's coming to a town near you. Sadly cause I work in town right along da planned route, I no can escape da carnage to be made. For those who have been blessed with dat commute, how you doin'?
Is it just me or does it seem like there are too many work furloughed prisoners interpreting furlough to mean freely released?
I for one do not know how these furlough programs work and can only guesstimate that a majority - if not all - are "low risk" type of convicted crimes but still one begs to ask - aren't they supervised at all when on furloughed work detail? Or just required to "check in" at da end of shift - or specific times - or only at bed check?
If they are reporting to a job site: are they by themselves, with a group of oddah furloughed inmates or co-mingled with civilian workahs? Are they dropped off or do they catch TheBus? Who is ultimately responsible - the correctional facility or da work detail s/he reports to?
While anyone reading WWD! may not give a mongoose's okole about these "workahs", wat would happen if these particular individuals were "free" and then committed anoddah crime (I can only imagine boosting a car first comes to mind) and dat crime was against you? I bet you would be all up in arms, "WAAAAAAT? S/he was on FURLOUGH?"
Da incidents dat trip me out are da lolo's who have only a short time left on their prison term and then escape for just a day - or more - before getting caught.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Seriously, just serve a little more and pau, fresh air, but to have it literally taken away for a quick joy ride with no money? I get it dat there are probably some of them dat want to stay in prison (reminds me of Shawshank Redemption - Brooks Hatlen) since it's "home" but for those who violate furlough? Gotta be shmall kine nuts as if you were put in da hole (solitary confinement) and then finally back in your cell but would rather stay in solitary. Go figgah.
I dunno if it's true or not but I was once told dat da guys who do landscaping on sides of da freeway are furloughed inmates but if das true, how does one get a "solo" assignment to be able to run away then?
In any case, do you think furlough programs work? Wat are your thoughts about not knowing dat a "low risk" workah could be right next to you and you wouldn't know it?
On a side note, I used to live in very close proximity to a halfway house when I was 10 so I passed - and played - by it everyday. Funny looking back at it now, all I thought it was was just dat....... half of a house.
I nevah fully realize dat Easter is exactly like........ Christmas.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Hea's da similarities dat I came up in about a minute (rogah, das da limit of my attention span unless you sharing your beea in which case you have my undivided attention ). Unbelievably there's a counterpart to each in relation to da "celebration":
Christmas you got da reindeer. Easter you got da bunny.
Christmas you got da snow. Easter you got da rain.
Christmas you got Charlie Brown. Easter you got Charlton Heston.
Christmas you got turkey. Easter you got da ham. *** ok, usually both
Christmas is mostly red. Easter is pink(?). *** Both use choke colors
Christmas you get presents you wish for. Easter you get presents you no ask for.
Christmas you got cookies. Easter you got eggs.
Christmas you spock out da lights. Easter you hunt for "prizes".
Christmas you one scrooge. Easter you hard boiled.
Got any more to add?
My brain is fried but it's a Feel Good Fryday so stay sunny side up - chillax and no let your yolk run. Hop to it and take kea watevah you gotta do today and hopefully you no get too egghausted. If dis not payday and you get one goose egg in your wallet, no shell out kala from your nest egg for Easter baskets. Most definitely no need walk on eggshells but if you evah get egg on your face cause you stay scrambled, no be hard boiled. Enjoy da next few days with your friends and ohana and hope you have an eggshellent Easter!
Repairs to da Zip Mobile has been repaired.
REPEAT: ALL ZIP MOBILE REPAIRS HAVE BEEN REPAIRED!
Da State Department of Transportation has announced dat vouchers will be available to compensate for fuel loss up to five gallons based on distance from work to home - more details to follow as they become available.
Mahalo for tuning in.
HA HA HA HA HA! APRIL FOOL'S!