By Braddah Lance
It just dawned on me dat it's two weeks and a day (or less depending on wen you read dis blog) till Thanksgiving.
Wassup Wit Dat!
Wea does da time go. No, really. Wea does it go??? I swear it was just Labor Day a couple weeks ago. Ok, maybe a couple months ago but still, it happens EVERY year wea we all do a Haka shrieking double take as mid-November strolls on by and then it hits us like a rubbah slippah right upside yo' head, "oh $h!t, it's Thanksgiving.... then Christmas.... and then New Year's! Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhh!!!" (insert Home Alone Macaulay Culkin's infamous pic hea)
It's like I tell Da Wife though, it's 52 weeks in a year and every weekend dat goes by - whether it was fun, productive or lazy - it's one less to da demise of dat year... and your life. My boss asked me if I was ready for Thanksgiving - not my life's demise - and I told her I still get candy and pumpkins at home so you tell me.
Dis year I feel like it's going to be like old times wea it's pure madness all ovah in da stores, grocery markets, online practically wea evah you go since many seem to be doing well enough instead of having dat recession ball and chain attached. I wouldn't be surprised to hear of numerous reports of some sort of violence whether it be parking lot road rage or people getting trampled or fighting ovah door busters.
And no get me started about da Christmas stuff up already even at Labor Day! Now das a WTF?! moment which no one seems to have any shame of doing these days. Plus no mo' even Black Friday anymore cause now it starts on Thursday and how dare those stores even start up BEFORE dinner! Now das totally pilau if you ask me. I finally caved in and "accepted" dat they started aftah Thanksgiving dinner a few years ago but now as early as 5pm dis year? Wat about those workers? Unless they volunteered or no mo' any special place to go or do on da "thankless" day, wat kine is dat to make them work - so sad I tell ya.
Have you hit da "oh $h!t" moment yet? Are you getting all ants in yo' pants knowing da days are ticking down? Have you been scoping out da deals already? No lie. Are things going smoothly thus far or you stay popping Tylenol like it's left ovah Halloween candy?